Song Review | Noisey – The Rap Monument

Last year on December 18th, Noisey released a 42 minute long posse track called The Rap Monument. It features 44 rappers from either Los Angeles, New York or Atlanta. The production comes from Hudson Mohawke, Nick Hook & S-Type. The featured rappers are Pusha T, Bryant Dope, Go Dreamer, Retch, Nipsey Hussle, Problem, Danny Brown, Meyhem Lauren, Raekwon, Vado, Kilo Kish, Flatbush Zombies, Renegade El Rey, Rockie Fresh, Pill, Bodega Bamz, Remy Banks, Killer Mike, Del Harris, YG, Cyhi The Prynce, Young Thug, A$ton Matthews, Prodigy, SL Jones, Nasty Nigel, Bobby Creekwater, Action Bronson, Heems, Mike G, Yak Ballz, Zebra Katz, Two-9, Alexander Spit, Scotty ATL & Da$H. This review is about to take soooooo long…

Verse 1: Pusha T

Okay, we’re getting off to a good start with one of my favorite rappers. This beat is dope af btw. It’s definitely gonna get annoying if they don’t switch it up tho. I guess this whole song’s gonna be filled with braggadocios lines. Push isn’t gonna rap about sellin’ dope. That’s cool I guess… This song will probably get boring by the third verse. This is a pretty average verse. He had a cool line about André 3000 I guess. Honestly, I think he should stick to coke rap. It’s definitely what he does best. He can hold his own on songs like this, but it’s really nothin’ special. His flow is average. It’s an average verse. 3/5

Verse 2: Bryant Dope

I’ve never heard of this guy. His flow is dope tho. I just realized I really don’t like braggadocios songs like this… This is gonna be a rough review. This verse is actually better than Pusha T’s. I fuck with this. 4/5

Verse 3: Go Dreamer

Never hearda this guy either. His flow is a huge step down from Bryant Dope tho. Nah this nigga corny af. “Go Dreamer’s a ??? (Idk wtf he said), wish upon a star” His flow is corny. He said “Stop playin’… Stop playin’… I’m just sayin’… just sayin… Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.” That’s the end of his verse. Don’t tell me to go nigga. I hate when people just chant dumb shit like that in the middle of a song. ScHoolboy Q did that on Hell Of A Night. I had to cut that shit out with GarageBand. This verse is wack af. 1/5

Verse 4: Retch

I never really liked Retch’s voice when he raps. You can tell he’s doin’ that shit on purpose. Speak up nigga. His flow on this track is actually dope. He’s just sayin’ the same shit he always says tho: “I’m faded and I’m dope.” It’s average. 3/5

Verse 5: Nipsey Hussle

Ah shit the beat just switched up. This is dope af. His flow is cool. He’s sayin’ the same shit everyone else has been sayin’, but it’s like he’s actually tellin’ you why he’s better than you instead of just sayin’ a bunch of random shit. This is dope 4/5

Verse 6: Problem

On some songs, Problem just sounds like he recorded his verse with a pair of Apple EarPods. If you’ve heard Chachi’s Revenge or the remix to After Party by Dorrough Music then you know exactly what I’m talking about. The exact same problem (yes) occurs here. It sounds like it wasn’t mixed properly. The verse itself wasn’t that bad. His flow is dope af, but sometimes you can barely understand wtf he’s sayin’ because he just sounds too relaxed. He definitely sounds comfortable over this beat tho. It sounds like the beat was way louder than the vocals. Turn that shit up, Noisey. It might be because he yells really loudly at some points and then gets really quiet at other times. that’s just an assumption tho. I have no idea wtf he’s sayin’. RapGenius doesn’t either. They got fuckin’ question marks all over the place. I enjoyed this verse mostly because of the flow, but I’m finna have to take some points off for the poor mixing. 3/5

Verse 7: Danny Brown

Danny Brown is that nigga. His flow is average on this track. “Don’t hit OGs” Fuckin’ right. If you listened to Old, this verse woulda ended up on Side B. He just sayin’ a bunch of nasty shit. “Put dick on tits” I fuck with this. 4/5

Verse 8: Meyhem Lauren

His flow is alright. He’s just sayin’ generic shit like everyone else. His voice doesn’t really sound good over this beat. He kinda sounds like Action Bronson. Except he’s not as funny as Action Bronson. This verse is average. 3/5

Verse 9: Raekwon

Raekwon’s flow is cool. It’s not great, but it’s good. Honestly, his verse is average too. I feel like all of these rappers half-assed they verses because they didn’t think The Rap Monument was that important. Raekwon coulda did way better than this shit. It’s not terrible, but it’s just not that good. 3/5

Verse 10: Vado

Vado is a pretty boring rapper to me. Most of his songs annoy the fuck outta me. His voice is annoying and if the beat isn’t really really good then his songs really aren’t worth listening to. Unless he has a dope feature of course. I don’t really think anyone gets excited when they see that Vado is featured on a song tho. This verse is actually kinda dope tho I ain’t even gonna front. His flow is dope. He added like a hook or a bridge or somethin’. They coulda left that out. It’s not terrible tho. I fuck with this verse, surprisingly. 4/5

Verse 11: Kilo Kish

I’ve hearda Kilo Kish before, but I ain’t ever actually heard any music from her. The way that the beat just switched up for her verse is dope. Her flow is average. I have no idea wtf she’s talking about. Wtf her verse just ended so abruptly. She didn’t really fit on this song tbh. The way her verse ended was just not good. I don’t know what she was talking about, so I don’t know how to grade this verse. I’m finna tell you right now tho: I didn’t enjoy that. Her flow was average. I’m not sure what she was trying to say. Her verse ended really poorly. The mixing on this song is pretty bad honestly. That’s not really a surprise tho. 2/5

Verse 12: Zombie Juice

His flow wasn’t bad. He had a real short 8 bar verse. I guess that was so that they could fit all the zombies in. That spiderman line was pretty dope. Even though it was short I still enjoyed it. 4/5

Verse 13: The Architect

His flow is dope af. He’s just sayin’ “I smoke weed & I’m better than you,” but this is still dope. This is the best flow that I’ve heard on the whole track so far. Oh, never mind I almost forgot about Problem. At least I can understand wtf this nigga’s sayin’ tho. 5/5

Verse 14: Meechy Darko

This verse is dope af. His flow is on point just like Erick Ark Elliot’s and he got some great lines in there. “Mic check check me skin darker than Wesley / Two eighths of shrooms got me dancin’ like Mr. Bentley” This is dope af. 5/5

Verse 15: Renegade El Rey

Never hearda this guy. His flow is really dope tho. This is dope af. “You see not a single syllable is out of place,” that shit be truer than a mf. This is dope af. 5/5

Verse 16: Rockie Fresh

Rockie Fresh works on some songs, but not energetic songs like this. His flow is too laid back for a song like this. It’s not terrible, but it kinda kills the vibe especially since we just got 4 really good verses. It’s alright tho. 3/5

Verse 17: Pill

Pill is cool if you like trap music. He prolly shoulda stayed with MMG tho because this nigga ain’t done shit since he left. I’m surprised they even got him to do this shit. I thought the nigga was dead, honestly. His flow is dope on this, but I coulda did without the part where he starts singin’ along to the beat and says “I go crazy on this beat right now / I really gotta go and spit heat right now.” That shit is corny af to me. The rest of his verse is dope, but that kinda ruined it for me. But it’s still dope tho. I fuck with this. 4/5

Verse 18: Bodega Bamz

I only ever heard Bodega Bamz from that song Told Ya off that A$AP Mob mixtape (R.I.P. A$AP Yams). He definitely outdid A$AP Ant on that track, but that isn’t really that hard to do. His flow on this track is dope and he be spittin’, but that “You don’t know Bamz” line he keeps sayin’ is kinda corny to me. He coulda just said it once. I woulda been good with that. It’s still dope tho. 4/5

Verse 19: Remy Banks

I don’t know who tf Remy Banks is. He been gettin’ a lot of love from HotNewHipHop tho. His flow is average. This whole verse is average honestly. It’s not that bad, but it really isn’t nothin’ special. I’m gettin’ tired of hearin’ all these rappers say basically the same shit. I ain’t even halfway through the song yet. 3/5

Verse 20: Killer Mike

This is about to be dope af. His flow is on point. This nigga goin’ the fuck off my nigga. This shit dope af. “Move crack for real, no rap shit / But I rap rap shit, my rap shit for real / So you rapping ass rabbit ass ratchet ass niggas / Gotta listen to these raps for real / Cuz, I don’t give a fuck if you a Blood or a cuz / ‘Cause I draw blood for real” This shit is crazy. He killed that shit. 5/5

Verse 21: Del Harris

The beat keeps switchin’ up slightly, but it really isn’t enough to keep it interesting. This guy’s flow starts off a lil slow, but he gradually picks things up. He got some cool lines toward the end, but this verse is pretty generic for the most part. 3/5

Verse 22: YG

YG’s flow is actually kinda nice on this track. He doesn’t usually have a wack flow, but I guess I never really payed close attention to it. This verse isn’t bad. That Miley Cyrus line was kinda cool I guess. I fuck with this verse. 4/5

Verse 23: Cyhi The Prynce

This verse is dope af. His flow is dope, but the shit he’s sayin’ is just fuckin’ awesome. “Lyrically I’m the epitome of a real MC / Biblically I am Timothy / Visually I am Tripoli / Full of bigotry, fighting with Gaddafi over liberty / Politically I’m Barack smoking pot, sipping Hennessy” This shit is dope af. 5/5

Verse 24: Young Thug

Of course Noisey decided to put one of the worst rappers right after one of the best rappers because if they didn’t it wouldn’t be stupid enough. I can’t front tho… I liked the way he said “THUGGER” before he started rappin’. I busted out laughin’ soon as I heard that shit lmao. Had to rewind that shit like 10 times. Nigga sound like a caveman. Actually, he doesn’t at all… I don’t know why tf I thought a caveman would sound like that. He do sound like he strugglin’ tho. He just havin’ trouble gettin’ the words out his mouth. Like “Thugger!” Lmao. Anyway, this verse is fuckin’ awful. He tried to say “Now I been rich since I was little like Robinhood,” but he ended up saying “Now I ben ret since I wah lih lite Roppinhud.” I have no idea wtf this nigga is tryna say. And it ain’t like with Kilo Kish where I didn’t get what she was saying. I literally can’t understand this nigga. It’s gibberish. I don’t even think these sentences make sense. It sound like he’s just sayin’ a bunch of random words and makin’ it rhyme. I think he said something about a chinchilla. Not even RapGenius knows wtf this nigga is sayin’. He just rhymed “time out” with “time out” 4 times. “I’m not no snitch, but I be tellin’ ’em, tellin’ ’em, tellin’ ’em, tellin’ ’em, tellin’ ’em, tellin’ ’em, tellin’ ’em, tellin’ ’em, I’m so tired of tellin’ ’em, tellin’ ’em, tellin’ ’em, tellin’ ’em, tellin’ ’em, tellin’ ’em, tellin’ ’em, tellin’ ’em, now I’ma show ’em.” I’m not makin’ this shit up, he really said that. This nigga took up 5 bars with two words. “Hannah Montananah” Fuck you, Young Thug. Tf was that shit? That’s some more bullshit. 1/5

Verse 25: A$ton Matthews

The first part of his verse has a terrible flow. It’s really bad. It actually goes from bad to good tho on the second half. Not bad to average. It actually gets good. It’s alright I guess. The first part was real bad, but he steps it up towards the end. 3/5

Verse 26: Prodigy

I fuck with Prodigy… Havoc is better tho. But I still fuck with Prodigy. His flow is dope on this track and that nuclear fall out line was dope af. I fuck with this verse. 4/5

Verse 27: SL Jones

Wow. This nigga really pulled out the autotune for this shit. Honestly… I’m okay with that. The autotune makes it a lot less boring. I was gettin’ tired of hearin’ this beat and the autotune kinda switches the sound up a little. He actually had a cool line about survival of the trillest. That shit was dope to me. I fuck with this. 4/5

Verse 28: Nasty Nigel

Never hearda this nigga, but his flow is actually dope af. The lyrics are nothin’ special honestly. I still fuck with it tho. I’m tired af rn. 4/5

Verse 29: Bobby Creekwater

Fuck, I’m racist. I’m dead ass serious rn I really thought this would be a Native American rapper. I’d actually like to see that. I guess the closest thing we gonna get is that untitled track from Kendrick. Whatever. This nigga flow is bad. It’s not terrible… but it’s bad. Actually, it gets better by the end, but it starts off real slow. It’s not that bad tho. This verse is average. Generic bars. 3/5

Verse 30: Action Bronson

I’ve said before that I’m not really a big fan of Action Bronson, but lately I’ve been fuckin’ with more of his shit. I like how he raps about food because he used to be a chef. That’s just great. “I’ll spill your clams on the carpet / Then eat some snails with some garlic.” His flow is alright. “Your fuckin’ pussy smells like old meat.” … 4/5

Verse 31: Heems

I fuck with this verse. I love how he just keeps yellin’ his name in the background. He sayin’ the same shit everybody else did, but at least it was funny. 4/5

Verse 32: Mike G

I fuck with Odd Future. Earl & Tyler are two of my favorite rappers. When The OF Tape, Vol. 2 dropped Mike G was one of my favorite members of the Wolf Gang, but he really hasn’t gone that hard since then. I remember he went the fuck off on that Oldie track. He don’t really spit like that anymore tho. This verse was actually dope. His flow wasn’t as nice as it was on Oldie, but it was still cool. He had some dope lines in there too. I fuck with this. 4/5

Verse 33: Yak Ballz

I only know who Yak Ballz is because I remember that DeadEndHipHop said that he had the worst name in hip hop. Why tf is his name Yak Ballz? Where the fuck did that name come from? Why Yak? Why Ballz? Yak Ballz? Wtf? Whatever. This is the first time I ever heard him on the track and in the music video it looks like he’s about to pop a blood vessel because he’s speaking so hard. His lyrics are just as stupid as everyone else’s, but his flow is pretty nice, so i’m finna give ’em a 3/5

Verse 34: Zebra Katz

I never heard of this nigga. His flow is dope af tho. I like his actual verse, but there’s like a bridge with somebody singin’ and it’s fuckin’ terrible. According to RapGenius, that’s Zebra Katz singin’ the bridge. That’s awful. That’s gonna bring the rating down a lot. That shit is awful. Don’t do that, Zebra. Stop. 2/5

Verse 35: Curtis Williams (Two-9)

Average ass verse. His flow is cool, but this shit is just so generic and boring. 3/5

Verse 36: Reese (Two-9)

Ditto. 3/5

Verse 37: Dave (Two-9)

…ditto… 3/5

Verse 38: LightSkinMac11 (Two-9)

The voice yellin’ in the background is annoying af. Other than that… ditto… 3/5

Verse 39: Alkebulan (Two-9)

I actually like this verse. His flow is nice and he actually got some cool lines in there. 4/5

Verse 40: CeeJ (Two-9)

He don’t really say shit. He only got like 8 bars. 2/5

Verse 41: Jace (Two-9)

Ditto. 2/5

Verse 42: Alexander Spit

This verse is average. He gotta average flow. Average bars. This song is too long. 3/5

Verse 43: Scotty ATL

This verse is wack. His flow is off and he ain’t sayin’ shit. 2/5

Verse 44: Da$H

I fuck with Da$H. His flow was average, but his bars were dope. I fuck with this. 4/5

Final Thoughts:

Oh, thank God it’s finally over. That shit was terrible. No song should be this long. If you’re going to do something like this it should be with all really dope rappers and it should be acapella. Like the Shady CXVPHER. Except faster paced. You can’t do something like this and throw Young Thug on there. They should try this again except it should be like the shady cxvpher, but all in one location. The rappers should be Black Hippy, Bas, J. Cole, Outkast, Big K.R.I.T., Black Milk, The Game, Skeme, Dubb, Boldy James, Boogie, Bun B, Busta Rhymes, Childish Gambino, Cozz, Slaughterhouse, The CunninLynguists, Cyhi The Prynce, Danny Brown, Dizzy Wright, EarlWolf, Eminem, Fabolous, Flatbush Zombies, Wu-Tang Clan, Mobb Deep, Hopsin (don’t let him do a hook), Isaiah Rashad, Jadakiss, Jarren Benton, Jay Electronica, Jay Z, Joey Bada$$, Kanye West, King Los, Lil Herb, Logic, Lupe Fiasco, Freddie Gibbs, Mick Jenkins, Mr. Muthafuckin eXquire, Nas, Nipsey Hussle, Pharoahe Monche, Pusha T, A Tribe Called Quest, QuESt, Ransom, Rakim, Run The Jewels, Sadistik, Saigon, Al-Doe, Stalley, Black Star, Tech N9ne, Vince Staples & YC The Cynic. Yeah, that’s like 75 rappers, but it would still be cool. Maybe it would work better as an event. Yeah, that would be dope af. I would go to that. But THIS Rap Monument was boring af. They didn’t even really switch the beat up. Every time they tried to switch it up it always went right back to the original. I never wanna hear that beat again. The beat is gonna cost this song some points. I honestly liked Young Thug’s verse more than Go Dreamer’s. At least Young Thug’s made me laugh. Go Dreamer’s was just corny af.

Favorite Verse: Killer Mike

Least Favorite Verse: Go Dreamer

Verdict:

68%

MEH

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