Album Review | Action Bronson – Mr. Wonderful

That cover art is dope af. I’ve never really been able to get into Action Bronson before. I like a few of his songs, but, most of the time his flow is unimpressive and his voice is just obnoxious to me. It always sounds like he’s out of breath. You can tell he’s fat just by listening to him. His bars are incredibly entertaining tho. I like the fact that he’s a former chef that raps about cooking. That makes me really happy for some reason. I don’t really mind him on features, but I never really liked the songs he made. Hopefully that isn’t the case with this album. I don’t think it will be. I’ve heard a few songs from this project and I liked them, so this shouldn’t be horrible.

Track 1: Brand New Car (Prod. Mark Ronson)

This beat is cool. It’s real different. Action’s flow is average. I ain’t feelin’ that hook at all. It’s corny. Nah. The bars are nice, but the hook is just… nah. I ain’t like that shit. I don’t like sing songy hooks at all and Action Bronson can’t sing in the first place. I get that it’s not really supposed to be taken seriously, but that’s not really an excuse for me to listen to it. This is alright. The beat is interesting and the bars are cool, but it’s not good enough for me to endure the hook. If I don’t delete this I feel like I’ll never listen to it again. 3/5

Track 2: The Rising Feat. Big Body Bes (Prod. Statik Selektah)

Statik Selektah’s a good producer, so this’ll probably be dope. I don’t know who Big Body Bes is tho. This beat is dope. “You wanna hum on my testicles.” I don’t know why, but I really enjoyed that one. I probably shouldn’t be, but I am very glad that he said that. His flow is average. The background singing during the hook is really nice. The hook is cool. Big Body Bes does a long ass rant at the end. I have no idea what the fuck he’s talkin’ about. I liked it tho. Apparently Big Body Bes is a character that Bronson likes to do. That’s cool I guess. This track is cool. His voice is just kinda irritating to me. It’s like he always yelling right in my fuckin’ ear. It’s not that bad, but damn. It gets annoying after a while. This track is cool tho. 4/5

Track 3: Terry (Prod. The Alchemist)


Oh fuck yeah, bitch. This shit sound smooth af. Bronson got a laid back flow on this shit. I feel like I’m drivin’ a speedboat across the atlantic ocean. This beat makes me feel like i’m sittin at the beach drinkin’ milk. Just kidding. Not milk. Something fancy. Like Coke. Makes me feel like I’m sittin’ on a platform made out of them floatin’ noodle things in the middle of the ocean eatin’ shrimp with white wine surrounded by Nicki Minaj lookalikes. Damn. The thought of them Nicki lookalikes got me sweatin’ & shit. Fuck. That’d be cool at first, but I can’t swim, so if the noodles started sinkin’ I would probably die. Maybe It would just be in a big ass pool. As long as there’s a lifeguard to save my lightskinned ass I’m good. I wouldn’t want him to be watchin’ me tho. Maybe I would have one of them Life Alert shits, so I could just press a button when I started dyin’. I wouldn’t want it to be a dude tho. Just some strong ass chick. I wouldn’t want her to look like Mrs. Muscles tho. That ain’t sexy. That’s too much. Just a fat ass and some reasonably sized titties and some good ass swimmin’ skills. Maybe there would be just a group of like 5 female life guards with average strength levels to carry me to land. That’d be kind of humiliating tho. Maybe it would be like a robot. A female robot. Would I be electrocuted if she got in the water tho? Maybe it WOULD be a bunch of girls, but I would have one of them Men In Black things to erase they memories. I would still feel bad about it tho. Maybe I would just know how to swim. Yeah. That’d be badass. 5/5

Track 4: Actin’ Crazy (Prod. 40 & Omen)

Actin' Crazy

This song better be as dope as the preview image for that video. This beat is dope af. No surprise there. 40 is a good ass producer. The hook is cool. Action’s flow is nothin’ special, but the bars was dope. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with this song. His flow is pretty standard, but that’s not really a problem. That beat is fuckin’ crazy. The bars are fuckin’ crazy. That hook is fuckin’ crazy. That flow… is pretty normal. The hook actually wasn’t that crazy either. It was dope tho. I fuck with this song. This shit dope af. 5/5

Track 5: Falconry Feat. Meyhem Lauren & Big Body Bes (Prod. The Alchemist)

Meyhem Lauren was on that Rap Monument song that Noisey put together. His verse wasn’t wack or anything, but it didn’t really stand out among the others. This beat is cool. Bronson’s lyrics are just as ridiculous as they usually are. His flow’s average. Meyhem Lauren’s flow is dope. I didn’t think Meyhem’s verse on the Rap Monument was anything special, but his verse on this song was dope. I like this Big Body Bes character. He’s BAD AYUSS!!! This song is dope. I fuck with this. 4/5

Track 6: Thug Love Story 2017 (The Musical)

What the fuck is this shit? It’s just some guy singin’ about a chick. The singing is fucking awful tho. I don’t think that’s Action. This is supposed to be like an interlude. I don’t know why anyone would want this in they iTunes library. If I was trying to listen to this album in the car and this track came on… That would kill my motherfuckin’ vibe. I probably shouldn’t give this a rating. It’s just an interlude. There’s no music. Just a guy with a bad voice singin’ about some chick. This is fucking terrible. This guy’s voice is so fucking terrible. Why is he singing? What is this?????

Track 7: City Boy Blues Feat. Chauncy Sherod (Prod. 88 Keys & Party Supplies)

I don’t think I’ve ever heard a Party Supplies beat. I don’t even know who Party Supplies is. I know he did a tape with Action Bronson a while ago (It may have been an album idk), but I don’t know who else he’s worked with. Actually, I don’t know who Chauncy Sherod is either. I think I may have heard about 88 Keys before. I’m not sure tho. Oh God. No. Action Bronson’s… He’s sangin’ on the hook. Why? WHY? Why do rappers always try to sing? RAP! YOU’RE A RAPPER! YOU’RE NOT A SINGER! RAP! Jesus. I hate shit like this. They always come up with some corny ass hook and think they can sing it. No. That’s not okay. Why do they always fuck up the hooks? It’s so annoying when rappers make good song’s with terrible hooks (Eminem). The hook’s so fucking long too. Oh.. no… NO. WHAT THE FUCK? That wasn’t… That wasn’t the hook! THAT WAS HIS VERSE! WHY THE FUCK DID HE SING THE VERSE? THAT WAS AWFUL! I was about to say “Why is this hook a minute long?”, but it isn’t! That wasn’t the hook! WHY? The instrumental’s not bad, but the fucking singing… He’s not rapping. This isn’t Hip Hop. This is bad. There’s absolutely no rapping on this song. Did I just listen to Action Bronson sing for four fucking minutes? That shit was awful. I didn’t even pay attention to the lyrics because I was distracted from the awful singing. This is so bad. Who the fuck is Chauncy Sherod? I didn’t hear shit from her. What exactly did she add to this track that couldn’t have been done by Action? I’m not saying he SHOULD have done it because honestly this whole song shouldn’t have been done, but damn. Nah. Nah, this is bad. 1/5

Track 8: The Light In The Addict Feat. Black Atlass (Prod. Party Supplies)

The Light In The Addict

I don’t know who Black Atlass is. This is a really slow start. I’m a minute and 15 seconds in and all I’ve heard so far is a slow bass line. There’s someone singin’ in the background. It actually sounds good tho. I hope that’s Black Atlass. This sounds like it’s gonna be good. Yup. This is definitely dope. This beat is fucking great. Thank God. Action’s actually rapping. He ain’t really rappin’ about all that crazy shit he usually does tho. Okay he is, but it’s not nearly as over the top as it usually is. He’s singin’ on the hook. GOD DAMNIT. It’s not nearly as bad as it was on the other songs, but what’s really annoying is that Black Atlass comes in right after Bronson does the hook and it sounds 100x better. Black Atlass can sing. Action Bronson can’t. Party Supplies & Black Atlass stole the show for me. Action Bronson is arguably the worst thing about this song. I fuck with it tho. The beat is crazy. Action’s flow wasn’t anything special, but it worked. His singin’ on the hook was bad, but not nearly as terrible as it was on the other songs. I fuck with this. This is dope. 4/5

Track 9: Baby Blue Feat. Chance The Rapper (Prod. Mark Ronson)

Baby Blue

I never listened to Acid Rap. I’ve barely heard anything from Chance The Rapper. I do like what I have heard tho. This beat is dope. I like the melody of the hook (a little), but Action Bronson’s singing is just not very good. “I’m butt naked in a Lamborghini.” Bronson’s flow isn’t that different on this track, but it sounds pretty good. Chance’s verse was cool, but it wasn’t crazy or anything. This song is about bad relationships I guess. Chance sounded bitter af. He said “I hope there’s always snow in your driveway.” That’s just messed up. Snow? In her driveway? That’s fucked up. I fuck with this tho. The beat is nice, the hook is… kinda good, and the lyrics are pretty entertaining. This is dope. Damn. The horns at the end of this track sound gooder than a motherfucker. 4/5

Track 10: Only In America Feat. Party Supplies (Prod. Oh No)

This beat is alright I guess. I’m not really a fan of the guitar. Uh. Nah I ain’t feelin’ this. Action’s lyrics are cool, but the hook is bad. What the fuck is this? This is… This hook is fucking terrible! This is ridiculous. This is not good. Nah. This hook is so fucking terrible. I ain’t feelin’ the beat. Action Bronson is the best part of this song. If this was without the terrible hook, and over a better beat it wouldn’t be that bad. I really ain’t feelin’ this tho. 2/5

Track 11: Galactic Love (Prod. The Alchemist)

I like this beat. It has a real jazzy bass line. This shit is so smooth. Huh. This shit… ends really early. It’s a lil too short. It only lasts about two minutes & thirty seconds. Well, at least what’s there is pretty good. The beat is smooth af. Alchemist did his thing. The verses were dope, although the third one ends kind of abruptly. That’s a shame too because the third verse had some of the best bars. “Took a meeting up at Paramount / Typecast as a romantic lead.” Thank God there’s no hook. There’s just a skit in between each verse of a phone call that Bronson had with his mama. I fuck with this song. Just wish it was longer. 4/5

Track 12: The Passage (Live From Prague) [Prod. Party Supplies]

This beat is cool. I guess. Oh God. There’s some bad singin’. You can barely understand what he’s sayin’ since it’s live. I’m pretty sure he’s sayin’ “Mr. Wonderful.” This isn’t really a song. I don’t know if I should throw a rating on this one. I will. He’s not rapping. It’s just an instrumental with some terrible singing on it. The beat’s alright. Not much else to say. I ain’t feelin’ it. I would be bummed out if this shit came on. Feels like a waste of three minutes. 2/5

Track 13: Easy Rider (Prod. Party Supplies)

Easy Rider

This beat is fucking crazy. Action’s flow is average. The hook works. I’m not really into Harleys. They’re annoying as fuck. He actually kinda steps his flow up in the second verse. I like this song. Coulda did without that guitar solo at the end. As I stated before, I don’t like guitars. Even when I was little and I was into music like this, I always thought the guitar solo was the worst part. It always felt like I was just waiting for it to end so that the song could continue. Ima have to cut that solo out in Garageband. This beat is fucking crazy. So are the lyrics too. He woke up with a bitch that looks like Seals cousin. Damn. 3/5

Final Thoughts:

That was kinda rough. The shit was actually pretty dope at first. Once that interlude hit this shit went downhill fast. I don’t know if I can confidently say that this project is worth checking out. If you’ve heard all the singles, there really isn’t any reason to. Seriously, if you take out every track that was released before this album dropped there would be two good songs and five bad ones. This project had some amazing ass singles, but it resulted in an incredibly painful listening experience for the whole album. If you’ve heard all the singles already, you’re basically paying to hear a bad EP plus some good songs that you already know. The singing. My God. It’s so fucking bad. Action Bronson. Listen to me, Action Bronson. You are a rapper. You rap. You are not a singer. You do not sing. Stop. Stop it. That interlude. It was so fucking long and so fucking boring and so fucking bad. That guy’s voice is so terrible. Don’t sing. Why was that on here? Who the fuck even is that motherfucker? I don’t care what kind of feeling your trying to give me with this. I don’t care how good the message behind the song is, if it’s a bad song it’s a bad song. Stop with the singing. Please. I don’t know what else to say. I liked the singles. For the most part, everything that was released before the album came out was great. For the most part, everything that was unheard until the album came out was wack. I don’t know why anybody would want to listen to that interlude or City Boy Blues. I seriously can’t see anybody liking that shit. There it is. Disappointed? Yes. Hating? No.

Favorite Song: Terry

Least Favorite Song: City Boy Blues




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