Funk Volume Vs. Horseshoe Gang

Okay, this is actually gonna be pretty great. For those of you who don’t know, Horseshoe Gang is a Hip Hop group consisting of four members who are actually all the biological brothers of Crooked I himself. I’ve actually never heard any of they music, but I know that they’re supposed to be really dope. On August 19, Funk Volume had an interview with my homie Sway. We ain’t really homies. I fuck with Sway tho. Him & Rob Markman are the best. Anyway, Hopsin was like “We will battle any motherfucking Hip Hop group for half a million dollars outta my pocket.” When I heard that shit I was like “OOOOOOHHHHH.” I was getting excited as fuck. They mentioned TDE, Slaughterhouse, Shady, Lupe Fiasco, and a fuck load of others. I think. I can’t remember if they kept going. Oh shit… Should I explain who Funk Volume is? I guess some of y’all might not know. Funk Volume is Hopin’s label consisting of himself, SwizZz, Jarren Benton & Dizzy Wright. Some of y’all may know by now that I’m not exactly the biggest Hopsin fan, and that’s putting it incredibly lightly. His music is fucking horrendous. That’s the thing tho… His MUSIC is horrendous. He’s actually a fucking amazing MC. He just has one of the most severe cases of Eminem Syndrome I’ve ever seen in my life. I was actually thinkin’ about changin’ the name to Hopsin Syndrome, but then I remembered Eminem’s song, Legacy, and I was like “…Nah. Nah, it’s definitely Eminem Syndrome.” So yeah, during the interview some guy called in and was like “Horseshoe Gang will do it.” I was like “…Okay. Cool. Guess I’m gonna have to start listening to Horseshoe Gang.” I’m gonna start abbreviating that shit to HSG. So, the guy was like… Well, I’m not sure who it was. I think it was a guy that works with HSG. I don’t think it was an actual member of HSG. I might be wrong tho. He was like “I’m workin’ on gettin’ the half a million dollars. I ain’t got it yet, but I’m at about 225,000, so when I get it we can do it.” I was like “…Why… Why the fuck would you tell them that?” I’m willing to bet at least thirty bucks (I know it’s not a lot, but I ain’t got a job. WordPress don’t pay me for this shit. I need to get me one of them Premium accounts) that someone from Funk Volume will use that against them…

So, I waited a few days and to be honest I actually forgot about it for a while. Apparently HSG actually kicked this shit off with a diss track a while ago. Lemme check when this shit was released. Okay, it looks like it was released on August 22. It’s called Half A Meal and it was produced by DJ Khalil. Okay. I’m ’bout to listen to it now. Actually… Lemme take a shower real quick and then I’ll come back and do it.

Half A Meal

Oooooh shit… This beat is fucking crazy. DJ Khalil did a great fuckin’ job with this one. Damn. Slaughterhouse has always had a pretty good ear for beats in my opinion, so I guess HSG must be the same way. Demetrius is on the hook. It’s dope. It’s really fast paced. I fuck with it. This beat is great. FUCK yes. These motherfuckers are tradin’ bars. All four of ’em. Damn. They’re goin’ the fuck in, but this shit really… I definitely fuck with this. Let’s get that outta the way. As a song this is fucking great. It’s even a good diss too, but… They really aren’t sayin’ that much shit about Funk Volume… This shit coulda been about anybody. It’s still fuckin’ great tho. “We turnt up, but y’all volume is weak.” That’s one of the only bars that I’ve heard that specifically targets FV. Lemme see… “Tryna spar with my silly ass similes and syllables are certainly similar to suicide.” Goddamn. That coulda been towards anyone, but Goddamn. The fucking alliteration is crazy. “We’ll kill anybody that hip-hop sends / We’ll murder anybody, it don’t matter who hops in.” Okay that line was great. That was a good one. Well, damn. I might’ve spoke too soon to be honest. This is actually really fuckin’ dope. “I’m the Rakim & Biggie type/ Not impressed with the type of shit Dizzy write / I’m the type to be all up in a nigga’s grandma’s basement / I’m finna fuck Jarren Benton’s wife.” Okay they’ve mentioned Hopsin, Dizzy & Jarren so far. I don’t think SwizZz is involved with this shit. He wasn’t at the Sway interview and nobody’s really talkin’ about him. “You been smashing them black Eminem’s rappers, but we the real shady niggas.” See, even Dice noticed the severe case of Eminem Syndrome. This is fucking great. This is a fuck of a lot better than the shit Meek Mill & Drake were on. Oh fuck… “This ain’t no Drake or no Meek type of shit / This is some ‘Takover,’ ‘Ether’ type shit.” He knows. Damn. This shit is definitely dope af. Hahahaha. Nice. They ended it off with Sway’s signature Wack Rappers rant. I fuck with Sway. I fuck with Horseshoe Gang too because this shit was fucking great. This is dope af. 5/5

VERY HOTTTTT

Horseshoe Gang: 1 – 0

Well, that was great. I’m excited to see what Funk Volume’s got to say about this shit. Thankfully, I don’t have to wait because they actually dropped they response late last night. It’s called Free Meal and it’s produced by Kato. It’s not on SoundCloud or AudioMack as far as I know, so I’m just finna put the video that Hopsin posted right here…

Free Meal

“Horseshit Gang Diss.” Horseshit Gang. Hahahaha. That shit is so stupid to me. It’s hilarious when people are tryna talk shit about musicians and they say shit like “Kendrick Lamer, Pupe Fiasco, Weak Mill, Chief Queef, Fuck Volume, etc…” It’s so childish. I know I shit on Hopsin all the time, but I’m actually kinda excited for this. When Hopsin just raps he’s fucking incredible. Hopefully he doesn’t fuck this shit up with a wack hook. I fuck with Kato, so I’m not really worried about the beat. SwizZz isn’t on this one, so I guess he’s sittin’ this battle out. It really would’ve been interesting to see what the less known rapper would’ve said. It’s fine tho. Okay, I’m finna start the song now. Ooooohhh shiiiiiiiit… This motherfucker Hopsin just dissed Crooked I too… “Sorry Crooked I but sending Horseshit in to diss us wasn’t a wise decision / It’s a setback for sure / Not only on they weak careers, but it’s a setback on yours / So step back, endure the rain and suffer the pain.” Goddamn. Fuck, man. Sometimes I wish I could live alone just so that I could yell out loud when I hear crazy ass bars. When that fucking beat dropped…

BARZ

Yoooo. The way the bass fades out and comes back in every time Hopsin says a crazy ass bar is fucking incredible. He’s goin’ the fuck in about how nobody knows who the fuck HSG is. “My girl’s ‘gram has more likes than yours does / How does it feel to have never been on a tour bus? / It’s probably similar to alcohol on a sore cut/ You niggas suck; in other words niggas, you’re fucked.” Hopsin’s verse was great. I fucking live for this shit man. I’m so fucking happy right now. Jarren Benton. I swear every fucking time this man comes in on a beat he sounds so fucking gangsta. This is just like when he stole the show on Dizzy’s album. “Y’all done stepped in some horse shit / I’ll turn you horseshoe niggas to corpses / Four dollar and a snack I bet they blow a horse dick.” HAHAHAHAHA. THEY HAD THE FUCKING SOUND OF A HORSE NEIGHING IN THE BACKGROUND WHEN HE SAID THAT! HAHAHAHAHA. That was great. DAMN! Y’all remember that line that Dice had about fuckin’ Jarren’s wife? “I’d let you fuck my wife but I’m sorry, she don’t like pussy.” This motherfucker is insane. “Bunch of fucking gangsters, but they can’t afford a firearm / I know you need guap, take a moment to breathe Doc / Bet they do the drive-by on a bike with a slingshot.” OOOOOHHHHHH SHIT! I feel like I’m in the crowd at an actual battle. This shit is fuckin’ bananas. “Y’all basic, lookin’ like you need bathing / Call me cause my grandmama got room in the basement.” What the fuck, man… This is fucking insane. OOOOHH MY FUCKING GOODNESS. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Jarren Benton just fucking destroyed this motherfucker. Remember how HSG’s representative (Mike Trampe) was like “I only got 225,000$ right now?” Jarren Benton was just like “Tell Mike Trampe to learn how to count a half a mill.” Right after he says that, the clip from the interview plays… The direct quote was “I got about 225 right now, Sway, so we can come up with the other 225, we’re ready to go.” HAHAHAHAHA. For those of you who don’t know shit about addition… 225,000 x 2 = 450,000. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes. That was fucking incredible. Jarren Benton just made that motherfucker look like a motherfucker. Hahahaha. Damn. I thought something sounded off when he said 225 in the interview, but to be honest I suck ass at math, so I didn’t look into it. Damn. That was fucking great. It kinda hurts the flow of the track, but it’s worth it to me. That was great. Damn. Dizzy’s about to go in… They settin’ it up like it’s the main event. I’m finna be disappointed if this motherfucker doesn’t go the fuck in now. Well, I would’ve been disappointed before, but now I’ll be really disappointed. Damn… Okay, this is actually great. It’s weird to hear Dizzy go in with this aggressive delivery. Weird in a good way tho. This is fucking incredible. This motherfucker sounds so fuckin’ hard. He’s goin’ the fuck in, but to be honest I kinda liked Jarren Benton’s verse the best. They all fucking killed it tho. I never thought I would say this (not completely true), but Hopsin’s verse could’ve been a little longer. Jarren fucking Benton fucking murdered that shit tho. I also kinda wish SwizZz had a verse. That would’ve been great. This is still fucking incredible tho. This is honestly better than Half A Meal to me. This shit is crazy. I was screamin’ after every bar. This shit was crazy. I definitely fuck with this shit. 5/5

VERY HOTTTTT

Funk Volume: 2-1

Damn. Okay. It’s not over yet tho because HSG dropped ANOTHER fucking diss today. It’s called Same Day and it’s produced by Tabu.

I’m gonna be honest… I coulda did without the acapella verse on the intro. It wasn’t bad, but… It was just a little corny to me. And what the fuck is “Ardacity?” This beat is dope af. It sounds like some Dr. Dre shit. Not as good as Dr. Dre, but still pretty damn good. The hook is fine. It coulda been better. Or preferably nonexistent. It’s not bad tho. “Fuck Dizzy Midget Wright just for bein’ shorter than 5 feet and shit.” What the fuck? Apparently Hopsin used to be signed to Ruthless Records. Interesting. Damn. Stevie Stone was too? What the fuck? Alright, lemme get back to the song. Demetrius did his thing. He had some dope bars, but I wouldn’t recommend it if you get offended easily. Dice is goin’ in now. Yeah, people who are easily offended definitely shouldn’t listen to this shit. “Fag Volume, y’all the gayest niggas / I drag queens through the mud, y’all some Caitlyn Jenners / Y’all ain’t contenders, straight pretenders, y’all should straight surrender.” That’s a dope ass line if you can look past the homophobia. “Y’all wanna contact SwizZz then or blackout? Make you see black like his contact lenses.” Looks like they’re wondering where he’s at too. Hopefully he hops on the next diss track. Kenny sounds great over this beat. Wait… Did… Did he just diss himself? “My bars are worse than a lethargic surgeon who’s off of bourbons.” Did he really just mix the word “My” up with “Your?” What the fuck? It’s not that big of a deal, but I’m just a little confused. He still killed the verse tho. “When I’m writing I’m a scientist / What I’m reciting, it’s inciting riotous violence / This Leviathan’s biopic.” They all killed it. The beat was dope af too. It’s not as good as Free Meal tho. It’s dope. I fuck with this shit. They all murdered it, but they just didn’t come as hard as Funk Volume. I still fuck with this shit tho. It’s dope. 4/5

HOTTTTT

Tie: 2-2

Now THIS is a fucking Hip Hop beef. Drake & Meek need to take notes. I’m still mad about that wack ass diss that Meek dropped. YOU ARE A BATTLE RAPPER. What the fuck happened to Meek anyway? I ain’t heard from that motherfucker ever since that wack ass shit dropped. Shit, fuck it. I don’t give a fuck about either of them. THIS is more like it tho. These motherfuckers can rap. I’m definitely gonna be keepin’ an eye on HSG from now on. I hope SwizZz & Crooked I get involved tho. Shit, maybe all of Slaughterhouse might say something. Funk Volume did say they could take ANY group. Hopefully more rappers hop in. I’m still mad about how that Mos Def & Lupe Fiasco battle never happened. Maybe Lupe or King Los or someone else will say something. What if every dope rapper just joined in on this shit. Lupe Fiasco comes outta nowhere and disses HSG & FV. Then the rest of Slaughterhouse comes outta nowhere and disses all of them. Then King Los comes outta nowhere and disses all of them. Then TDE comes outta nowhere and disses all of ’em. Then all of fuckin’ Strange Music hops in. That would be a fucking dream come true. I know that’s ridiculous tho. That’s the definition of too good to be true. Fuck. This is a good ass beef tho. THIS is a real ass beef. Fuck outta here Drake & Meek. I gotta give them credit tho… All this shit prolly never woulda happened if they hadn’t dissed each other because that inspired Mos Def to make that challenge. He backed down when Lupe stepped up, but THAT inspired this shit. I know it sounds wrong, but in a way Meek Mill & Drake kinda brought beef back. I’m just sayin’. Anyway, I fuck with this shit. I’m glad this happened. I’ll update this shit when Funk Volume responds again. How are they gonna decide a winner tho? That’s what I wanna know…

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