Fuck. I’ve been putting off this review ever since the fuckin’ album dropped on June 5 this year. For those of you who don’t know, Troy Ave is a rapper from New York. That’s pretty much all there is to him. It makes sense that his nick-name is “Troy Average.” He’s so goddamn boring. I’m pretty sure he’s supposed to be the “savior of New York Hip Hop” or something like that (sounds familiar, doesn’t it?). I’ve listened to a few of his projects and none of them are terrible. They’re just not good. Average. That word’s gonna come up a lot in this review. I’m getting bored just thinking of this guy. I know it seems like I really shouldn’t review this, right? It seems like I’ve already made up my mind that it’s wack, doesn’t it? There are very few artists who’s music I will never, ever review. They definitely do exist (French Montana, Iggy Azalea, Kirko Bangz), but there aren’t many of them. If I can’t find ONE enjoyable song on this bitch, I’ll probably never review any of his future projects. Probably. I listened to his first album that released in 2013 called New York City: The Album. It was boring as fuck. There was a song on there with Raekwon, N.O.R.E. & Prodigy and he STILL somehow made it boring as shit. I liked TWO songs out of seventeen. Nah. It wasn’t good. If you’ve never even heard of this album there’s a pretty goddamn good reason for that. It’s because ain’t nobody givin’ a fuck about this motherfucker. He’s that boring. He’s almost on the level of Curren$y, but even Curren$y seems to have more fans than Troy Ave. The only reason anybody was talking about this album when it dropped is because they were making fun of the unrealistically bad sales. This motherfucker sold… 4,373. 4,373 albums in the FIRST week. THIRTY of those were physical CDs. THIRTY. It debuted at 109 on the Billboard 200. Pathetic. I remember when he called Kendrick Lamar a “weirdo rapper.” Really? A “Weirdo” rapper? By “weirdo” do you mean original? I’m not even gonna talk about that shit. I would probably go on for like… Well, to be honest I would probably write like three more sentences, but I just don’t feel like talking about it right now… I’m ’bout to check if it’s really that bad tho. I’m sure there’s at least one decent song on here. It can’t be that bad. I guess. What an ironic title too. Major Without A Deal? Major? This fuckin’ album doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page. I’m dead ass serious right now. There is no Wikipedia page for this shit. He’s probably the most minor rapper in the industry right now. Maybe he should… I don’t know… Get a deal? Oh no; what am I thinking? That would be ridiculous…
Track 1: Quarter Million Feat. Cam’Ron (Prod. Ted Smooth)
I actually kinda fuck with this beat. Troy’s first verse was… Average. It really wasn’t that bad. He didn’t say anything that bad. It was all just… Okay, if you were at school and for some reason your teacher asked you to write a New York style Hip Hop verse about cocaine in about 7 minutes, this is what you would get. Troy Ave’s first verse on Quarter Million. It’s definitely not good. It’s not terrible tho. The hook is boring. He says “More money / More problems / I invite the stress” a few times. That’s the hook. Again, it’s not horrible. It’s just there. You know what the fucked up thing is? Troy is really really not bad. I just can’t… It’s just… It’s not good. There’s nothing worse than the most average rapper bragging about how great he is. I shouldn’t feel like I could be a better rapper than you. I fuck with Ted Smooth, but this beat really could’ve used some more variation. It gets old real quick. I like the horns on here, but the drums just don’t hit hard enough. Maybe it needs more bass. I don’t fuckin’ know. Cam’Ron’s verse was… Average. I could never really get into Cam like that, but I never thought he was bad. It’s like a less severe version of my thoughts on Troy Ave. His shit was just barely better than Troy’s. At least his voice sounds better for this shit. Troy’s voice is just… It puts me to sleep. It even sounds like HE is bored when he raps. This song is just basic. It has a basic flow, basic bars and… Well, the beat isn’t horrible… It’s… Basic. Average. This song… Is boring as hell. I really should say that this song is just alright, but… If it came on the radio I would definitely change the station. I’m not feelin’ this shit. This is wack to me. It’s not that horrible tho. For real, I’m really torn on this one. If it means anything, this is as close to a 3 as a 2 can get… 2/5
Track 2: I’m ‘Bout It Feat. Fat Joe (Prod. Yankee)
Oh God… Fat Joe… I’m not a fan. To be honest I’m not really that familiar with Big Pun or the rest of Terror Squad. The one thing I do know is that Big Pun was a thousand times better than Fat Joe. This beat is cool I guess. It’s pretty ironic that he shits on rappers that pretend to be rich and then does exactly that. “I been gettin’ money for the past eight summers / Bought a Benz all cash, ho picked up a Hummer.” What the fuck? His first verse wasn’t that bad. Boring. That’s what this is. The beat is… The production isn’t that bad, but Troy Ave just isn’t interesting enough. The hook was… Average. Fat Joe’s goin’ in now. His verse was so much better than Troy’s. It still wasn’t that great, but at least he kinda kept me interested. Fuck. It’s really hot in my room right now. This is average. The beat is average. The hook is average. Troy’s verse is… I’ll say it’s slightly below average. Fat Joe’s verse was slightly above average. Especially compared to Troy’s verse. I’m not really feelin’ this shit. It’s not horrible, but I would never listen to this again. It’s alright I guess. 3/5
Track 3: Young King (Prod. Yankee & Troy Ave)
This beat is cool I guess. The hook is fucking horrible. Troy Ave is singing and it’s… Well, he can’t sing. It sounds fucking terrible. Oh no… What… What the fuck? This… This isn’t the hook. This is the fucking verse. He’s singing throughout the whole fucking verse. This is hilarious. This is… Why is he singing like this? He really can’t sing. He sounds like a drunk guy singing his favorite song. I don’t know why the fuck he thought this was a good idea. Did he not listen to this shit before he released the album? Fuck. He’s singing about his haters. “But enough about them, let’s talk about me.” No please. You are literally the least interesting rapper I have ever heard. At least Curren$y doesn’t try to sing like this. I’m sure if he did try it wouldn’t sound this shitty. Fuck, man. This is awful. This is fucking ridiculous. Oh thank God. He’s not singing anymore. Wow. I never thought I would be able to say “Thank God Troy Ave is rapping.” To be honest this rapped verse is too little too late. It’s too AVERAGE to save this shit. He’s incredibly braggadocios, but he just comes off annoying as hell. Maybe it’s his voice. He just seems like a huge douche. I can’t fuck with this song at all. This shit is wack af to me. 1/5
Track 4: Real One/June 5th (Prod. Troy Ave & Yankee)
This is a generic trap beat. Well, I guess it’s not that generic. I actually kinda fuck with it. The hook is cool I guess. He just doesn’t have the right voice for this kind of music. When I hear this beat I think Jeezy, Lil Bibby, Stevie Stone, etc… Troy’s voice was annoying in the first place, so hearing him over this is pretty rough. It’s really not that bad. He’s doin’ his thing I guess. It’s just not that great. The hook is a little too long. I fuck with the beat tho. The beat’s kinda hard. I guess Real One is a 3/5. June 5th is starting now. This beat is still trap inspired. I fuck with it. It’s not really better than the first one, but it isn’t worse either. It’s cool. The hook on Real One was definitely better. I just don’t care about anything he has to say. It’s the same shit almost every other rapper already talks about. This isn’t that bad either. I guess this is alright. I just won’t be playin’ it again. It’s really not that bad tho. Both of the songs were AVERAGE, so the overall track is just alright. 3/5
Track 5: Doo Doo (Prod. Tha Bizness)
…DOO DOO? …What… Why? Why is this song called Doo Doo? Is this a joke? Is Troy Ave a joke rapper? This is some Lil B shit right here. I’m sure all the comments on HotNewHipHop said “WOW THE TITLE DESCRIBES THE SONG HAHAHAHAHA I’M SO CLEVER.” I’m not… I’m not expecting much. To be honest… I don’t really want to like this shit. If someone see’s that I’m listening to music on my phone and they ask me what I’m listening to, I don’t want to have to say “Doo Doo by Troy Ave.” Ugh. God. That just sounds like something a loser would listen to. Doo Doo by Troy Ave. Jesus. Alright I’m ’bout to listen to the song now… What the fuck? HAHAHAHAHAHA! This is fucking hilarious. This sounds like some fuckin’… I don’t even know. What the fuck is this Disney ass Sesame Street ass Peewee Herman ass beat? This beat is hilariously soft. Fuck. If Drake rapped over this shit the jokes would never end. Oh my fucking goodness. This motherfucker is singin’ on this shit too. Ohhh noooooooooooo. Noooooo. “Doo da doo doo doo doo.” Fuck. Me. Why did I decide to review this fucking album? Ain’t nobody lookin’ for no fuckin’ Troy Ave album review. Ain’t nobody givin’ a shit about no fuckin’ Troy Average album. This is far below average tho. This is fucking horrible. Some of you may know that I recently started giving out zeros for ratings. If I can’t find one good thing that I like about this song, then that’s what this shit is gonna get. Is this what his fucking fans wanted? Are his fans 7-year-old kids who have a fuck load of “haters?” Because that’s the only type of person that this could possibly appeal to. This is pure fucking dog shit. DOG. SHIT. Stop fucking singing Troy Ave. Oh no. No. This motherfucker is still singing. It’s not just the hook. Who the fuck does this motherfucker think he is? I don’t even fuck with Drake, but you ain’t him motherfucker. Ohhhhh noooooooooooooo. This motherfucker just pulled out the female vocals and layered them over his. I cannot believe this shit. “I’m shittin’ on you.” No the fuck you ain’t motherfucker. Don’t get this shit twisted, Troy. It’s clear as fuckin’ day who’s shittin’ on who. Even Fetty Wap could see that YOU are the one who’s gettin’ shitted on. This shit is fucking horrendous. People have been callin’ him Troy Average forever, but it’s clear that his ego hasn’t taken any fucking hits. That’s the most annoying thing about this shit tho. How could somebody so terrible at what they do think so highly of themselves? You can’t sing motherfucker. You need to sit the fuck down. Fuck. Anyone who says Troy Ave ain’t “that bad” has clearly never heard this shit. This is fucking ridiculous. I cannot believe this hamster lookin’ ass motherfucker. One of the comments for the music video says “Niggas will hate on anything. Nothing wrong with this song or video. It’s catchy.” Really? Really motherfucker? “Nothing wrong with this song…” You can’t find one goddamn thing wrong with this shit? I can’t believe this motherfucker had the nerve to say “Niggas will hate on anything.” Really? You really think that people are just “Hating?” Get the FUCK outta here man. I cannot believe people like this shit. “Niggas will hate on anything.” What the… FUCK? I… You know what? Fuck that shit, man. People will DICKRIDE anything. I can’t believe people accept shit like this. It’s like when Eminem stans say shit like Legacy is okay. Nah. Fuck that shit. Get the fuck off his dick. I mean, if you really like the shit that’s cool, but don’t get mad at people for shittin’ on what they think is shit. This is one of the worst songs I have ever heard in my life. Another one of the comments for the video says “I can’t stop comparing him to 50. Reminds me of him so much. This shit is hot tho.” Are you fucking shitting me? 50 Cent? How the fuck do you get 50 Cent from this shit? Maybe Animal Ambition 50 Cent(a.k.a. Bad 50 Cent), but this motherfucker better not be talkin’ about Get Rich Or Die Tryin’ 50 Cent. Don’t even get me fucking started on the music video itself. It’s hilariously bad. It’s just as fucking corny as the song is. Hahaha. There’s a clip of a little lightskinned girl throwing a basketball and making it into the hoop. She then proceeds to jump into the air and celebrate. Good for fucking you; you made ONE shot. NOBODY should be that excited about something like that. She doesn’t even look that young either. She’s probably like 8 years old or something. Oh nooo. This music video is fucking… Fuck. This little ass girl is dancing to this terrible song. I’m pretty sure the reason they got this little ass lightskinned girl is because they couldn’t find anyone else who wanted to be associated with this shit ass song. I told y’all this is some Sesame Street ass bullshit. OOOHHHH MY GOD. It just gets worse and worse. Now they’re showing random ass citizens dancing to the song. First it’s the little ass lightskinned girl, then some random ass black guys, then a white ass firefighter, then some Asian ass chick, then some white ass douchebag wearing sun glasses, then some old ass black guy in a suit, then a white ass soccer mom, then a lightskinned ass chick, then a slightly less lightskinned ass chick, then some white ass chick, then some white ass guy that looks like he could be in a Christian biker gang. This is fucking horrible. Who the fuck are these people? Why the fuck is this random ass rabbi snapping his fingers to this shit? NO. There are even more random ass people dancing to this shit. This is fucking horrible. You can’t have the kind of attitude that Troy Ave has and make some shit like this. Talkin’ ’bout “bringin’ back New York.” Get the fuck outta here, man. This is pure shit. I hate everything about this shit. I hate the people involved in the video. I’ve lost a shit load of respect for Tha Bizness too. He’s actually rapping now. Nah. Too late motherfucker. Shit. I feel bad for shittin’ on this shit, but this shit is shitty as shit, so it’s okay. Oh noooo. Now the beat faded out and the fuckin’ hand claps came in at the end. Wow. That shit was terrible. This motherfucker… The only thing that could’ve made this shit worse is a fucking children’s chorus singing along with the hook. At least that didn’t happen. This shit is terrible tho. This is arguably the worst song that I’ve ever reviewed. I cannot fuck with this shit at all. This is fucking garbage. This is absolutely wack as FUCK. 0/5
Track 6: Bang Bang Feat. 50 Cent (Prod. Troy Ave & Yankee)
Okay, it’s been a few days. I’ve washed the horse dookie outta my ears. I’m ready. I guess… This beat is generic as fuck. It’s almost as boring as the beat from Energy by Drake. The hook is also boring as fuck. It’s so fucking basic. He’s got such a huge ego and he’s always talkin’ about his “haters,” but the shit he says to put them down just isn’t clever or interesting in any way. It’s like if Drake responded to Meek Mill by saying “Fuck you! You’re just… You’re just a TROLL! SHADDUP YOU TROLL!!!!!1!” It’s pathetic. The hate is justified. Well, I shouldn’t say that. I’m just gonna say this: I get it. I get why people hate Troy Ave. He isn’t exactly the most likable MC. He just comes off as a gigantic douche bag. Like Travi$ Scott or Bono. Fuck Bono. Anyway, the beat is boring, the flow is generic as fuck, and the lyrics are just… Not good. “Bang Bang / BSB the gang / I’m gettin’ money you should do the same.” Anyone coulda came up with that shit. That is the most basic line I’ve ever heard. What 16 year old kid that’s tryna “make it” hasn’t already said that line? “I’m gettin’ money you should do the same.” Troy Ave makes having money seem lame. Troy Ave’s music makes me want to throw my wallet into the Atlantic Ocean. He seriously makes me wanna just waste my money. Maybe that’s on purpose. Maybe he tries to make people think that wasting money is cool so that they’ll buy his album. That clearly didn’t work tho. He’s always talkin’ about how he is bringin’ back coke rap. Gucci Mane is better at that shit than Troy Ave tho. At least Gucci Mane is somewhat entertaining. This is just like sitting in a church whose religion doesn’t apply. At least in Church they give you some crackers and juice. What the fuck is Troy even talking about right now? Is this supposed to be a revenge story? Why don’t you TELL US THE FUCKING STORY THEN? Imagine your BEST friend, Troy Ave, is telling you a story. “So, I was chillin’ in my crib whippin’ coco. You know, just like that OTHER guy that somehow makes better music than me. Then, all of a sudden I get a call from my homie, and I’m like ‘What up, bro!’ So, we found out where he live. We lay up on his floor. AND THEN… Guess what? We sprayed him on the floor. I know. Amazing, right? I’m so awesome. I was fuckin’ blowin’ vape. None of the neighbors saw. See, I’m big on revenge, ya know?” That’s the whole story. He tried to tell us a revenge story and he somehow made it incredibly boring. Who the fuck is this guy that you just murdered? Why is this revenge? What the fuck did he do to you? You can’t just start in the middle of the story. “We found out where he live.” What? Why? Who? Who the fuck is this person that you just fucking murdered? Why the fuck did you do that? You give me absolutely no reason to care about what you’re saying. You can’t “bring back” coke rap if you don’t actually say shit. You have said NOTHING on this song. That was a complete WASTE of a verse. I don’t know why the fuck this guy thought he could tell an interesting revenge story in just eight fucking bars. This is bad. This hook is so fucking boring. The beat is generic as fuck. 50 Cent easily has the best verse. He actually has a nice flow and his fucking voice isn’t as terrible as Troy’s. 50’s verse still wasn’t that good, but it was a fuck of a lot better than fuckin’ Troy Ave’s verse. This is the most boring, generic, AVERAGE shit I’ve ever heard. Troy’s goin’ in again. “People say I sound like Fif.” Why? Why the fuck do people say that? He sounds NOTHING like 50 Cent. This is terrible. It’s just three agonizing minutes of NOTHING. He’s just saying nothing. That’s it. This song is so fucking boring. There’s nothing here. There’s no meat on these fuckin’ bones. There’s barely a fuckin’ bone. Nothing about this song is good. The beat is boring as fuck, the lyrics are just a clusterfuck, and the flow & delivery are AVERAGE as fuck. This song is nothing. I can’t fuck with this shit. This shit is wack af. 1/5
Track 7: A Bronx Tale (Prod. Kid Capri)
Man, I’m so tired of hearin’ this motherfucker’s weird ass voice… Fuck it, man. I’m just gonna play the song. Okay, this beat is actually not that bad. It’s not that great, but I guess I can get into it. Oh no… Is this gonna be one of them “Thugs need love too” songs? FUCK. This hook is not good. Yo, I am so fucking tired right now. I’m seriously about to pass the fuck out. I just wanna go to sleep. I gotta finish this terrible fuckin’ album tho. Maybe the songs at the end are actually really fuckin’ good. Maybe. Please. Wow. Of course the chick that this motherfucker is “in love” with is a stripper. Look, there’s nothing wrong with being a stripper. Loving a stripper is fine. It’s pretty clear to see that this guy is only attracted to her for her body tho. “I went in my pants.” Stop it. Stop. It. Stop. Fucking. It. Troy Ave do not do this shit. As much as I hate hearing your fucking fantasy land coke & money bars, I really do not need this honesty from you. That’s too much honesty. You can be honest, but not like that. Only people like J. Cole can be honest like that. You definitely cannot. “I could show you where love and the dollars at.” Oh God. This is bad. It’s not as bad as the other shit. To be honest, not all of the bars sound as fake as that shit. It’s just… Nah. It isn’t good. At least he’s actually talkin’ about something somewhat interesting for once. Holy fuck this hook is annoying. Is he singing? Is that what that is? This beat is actually nice. I fuck with the beat. That’s pretty much it tho. This is bad, but this shit is getting better. Maybe the next song will actually be decent. That little outro that he did was annoying as hell. This shit is wack. I can’t fuck with this. It’s not as wack as the other shit tho. But it’s still wack. 2/5
Track 8: Love You/How I’m On It Feat. Lil Twin Contraban (Prod. RubiRosa)
Oh God. I hate it when artists put multiple songs on one track. I also hate when corny rappers make love songs. This hook is bad. Why the fuck does this guy think he can sing? Who the fuck told him that was okay? You ain’t Drake motherfucker. You’re fuckin’ Troy Average. This beat’s kinda dope. This first verse is horrible. “I’m that nigga in a major way / I’m from Brooklyn they say I’m the new Biggie or Jay.” Who says that? Seriously, who the fuck says that? Point whoever the fuck said that out so he can get the jizz kicked out of him. Sorry. That was inappropriate. Y’all should understand tho. This guy is nowhere fuckin’ near them motherfuckers. Why is he singing? It sounds fucking horrible. Did Jay or Biggie ever sing like this? I don’t fuckin’ think so. I hope not… This is so fuckin’ boring. RubiRosa did a good job, but Troy obviously didn’t. I can’t take this shit. Nah. This first song is wack af. Fuck. That shit lasted way too long. Okay, How I’m On It is starting now. I kinda fuck with this beat. Oh God this fuckin’ hook is terrible. What… Who the fuck? Why is this motherfucker Lil Twin Contraband, which is a STUPID fucking name by the way, yellin’ like that. This hook is awful. What the fuck? He didn’t even have a verse… He literally just yelled all over the fuckin’ song. This is fucking awful. Troy’s singing is so fucking bad. Why? Why are these songs even on the same track? What the fuck? Nah. Fuck this shit. This song fucking sucks ass. They both wack af. 1/5
Track 9: Fake Butt Busta (Prod. RubiRosa)
What the fuck? Man, who gives a fuck if it’s fake? Fuck… I’m so tired of this motherfucker. Lemme just go ahead and listen to this shit. What the fuck… I kinda fuck with this… What is that? A saxophone? I kinda fuck with this saxophone, but it doesn’t really fit at all and it’s so fucking loud that it drowns almost everything else out. This hook is bad. He’s… He’s singing. He’s singing again. Why? Why does he do this? It’s awful. Even if the singing was good this shit would still suck because the melody itself isn’t good. It’s pretty ironic that this fake ass “gangsta” is talking about how he hates fake booties. Well, I don’t really know if he’s a fake gangsta, but he sure as fuck isn’t threatening. Who gives a fuck about this shit? Who cares this much about fake asses? Who would want to hear a song about this fuckin’ shit? This is fucking horrible. What is this motherfucking doing? Is this a real song? This is fucking God awful. I cannot take this fucking shit. Fake Butt Busta? Man, fuck this shit. This is so fucking bad. Who likes this? Who thinks this is a good beat? Who thinks the “lyrics” here are good? Who thinks the hook is entertaining? I do not understand how people like this fuckin’ shit right here. I don’t even have anything else to say. This is fucking dog shit. Nah. Nobody should fuck with this shit. This is pure horse shit. 0/5
Track 10: Do Betta Feat. Ty$
Oh thank you Lord. Thank you. Maybe now Troy Ave will sit the FUCK down and let Ty$ show him what the fuck good singing sounds like. Yes. Thank God. Ty$ sounds great on this shit. This is the best hook on the whole album so far. That’s really not saying much, but still. As everyone expected, Troy Ave is easily the worst thing about this song. The beat’s kinda dope. I actually fuck with this beat. Troy Ave’s verses weren’t that bad. They just weren’t very interesting. I don’t have that many bad things to say about this song. It’s still boring as hell, but not compared to the other shit on this bitch. It’s alright. I fuck with the beat. To be honest, the hook got old real quick, but that’s alright. I guess. It’s ok. 3/5
Track 11: Finagle The Bagel Feat. Young Lito (Prod. Yankee)
What the fuck? Finagle The Bagel? Why the fuck is that the title? Why the fuck am I about to listen to a fucking Troy Ave song called Finagle The Bagel? Fuck, man. I fucked my whole life up… I need some pussy… Damn… This beat is actually really fucking dope to be honest… Wow. I really like this beat. I coulda did without the sound dropping out of my right ear for a few seconds, but it’s alright I guess. FUCK, man. Troy’s singing again… Huh… It’s actually not that bad… It’s definitely not good, but it’s sufficient. I actually kinda fuck with it. The lyrics are a little weird. “It’s just the way my day go / I’m tryna Finagle The Bagel.” What the fuck? What the fuck does that even mean? He’s tryna eat ass? That’s what it sounds like… Fuck no. I will never EVER eat ass. It would have to be the baddest bitch on the planet for that shit to happen. Nicki Minaj & Beyoncé. Those are the only asses I would ever eat, and even then it would be hard. I’m pretty sure this is like the third time I’ve talked about eating ass on this website… I’m sorry for bringin’ it up so much, but I just don’t understand this whole ass eating phenomenon. “Playin’ with the legos.” What the fuck is this motherfucker talking about? “I’m talkin’ ’bout the yayo.” …What? The shit he’s saying in this song is actually somewhat interesting. That terrible ego isn’t showing for once. “‘All he talk is dealing, balling shit, and killing’ / That’s what the fuck I’m seeing on my way to a million / Would you rather I be broke, a struggle rapper for your laughter with no hope?” No. Of course not, Troy. I just wish I never listened to this shit ass album. I seriously doubt this man will ever have a million dollars. It’s alright tho. I guess. His verse was cool I guess. It was definitely better than the shit he’s been saying on the other songs. Young Lito’s goin’ in now. I guess he’s one of the guys in Troy’s BSB group. What the fuck does that even stand for? Back Street Boys? He easily had the better verse. I fuck with his verse. Oh God. I coulda did without that shit Troy did on the last recital of the hook. I guess he got brave and tried to hit a high note. It sounded fucking awful. It’s over now tho. Maybe I can cut that out in GarageBand. I honestly might cut out his whole verse and make this a Young Lito song. Nah, I’m just playing. Maybe. I honestly fuck with this shit. This shit is… Dope. I think this Troy Ave song is dope. Wow. It just sounds wrong. I gotta be honest tho. I fuck with this. 4/5
Track 12: Gimmie That Feat. A$AP Ferg & Young Lito (Prod. Yaiquab)
Oh man… Alright. Have I ever talked about Ferg on this website before? He’s… entertaining. I wouldn’t exactly refer to him as a “good” rapper. He can flow, but he’s… He’s just so fucking stereotypical. When the music is actually good I can’t deny it, but nobody should listen to him for his lyrics. Unless… Unless they like his lyrics. I don’t in most cases tho. I love songs like Shabba & Lords, but that fuckin’ Ferg Forever tape was horrible to me. Where has Ferg been anyway? He must be workin’ on his next album. I’m actually excited for that. When he has the right production his music is great. That just wasn’t the case on Ferg Forever tho… Anyway, this beat is fucking great. I definitely fuck with this beat. If he wanted his album to actually do well, THIS should’ve been a single. Oh… Fuck… Never mind. This hook… What the fuck is this shit? He’s not singing, but the fucking lyrics… “Just give me that head / Ain’t got no time to open your legs / Girl, give me that head / Just give me that head / Whether on the couch or on the bed / Girl, give me that head.” What the… Fuck? What the fuck is this shit? Why the fuck does the hook last so long? Oh my God… This is horribly misogynistic… “Sacrifice your bitch to me / It ain’t your mother, nigga / you’ve got others / Won’t you sacrifice your bitch to me.” This is fucking awful… Young Lito is on the second verse. The lyrics are just terrible. I don’t… His voice doesn’t put me to sleep like Troy’s does, but the fucking lyrics… They aren’t good… Ferg’s goin’ in now. You can probably guess how his verse was. I liked it. Hahahaha. I’m serious tho. I liked it when he was talkin’ about gettin’ head because he doesn’t seem like he takes himself seriously. I don’t get that playfulness from fuckin’ Troy Average. I get Donald Trump levels of douche. Young Lito is alright, but… I don’t know. It just wasn’t that good… Troy thankfully didn’t even have a verse. He was only on the hook and it was still somehow boring as fuck. I can’t fuck with this shit. The beat was cool & I liked Ferg’s shit, but the lyrics were fucking horrible and it got boring pretty quickly. I’m not fuckin’ with this shit. This is wack. 2/5
Track 13: Do Me No Favors Feat. Fabolous & Jadakiss (Prod. Chase N. Cashe)
Fuck it. Lemme just start the track. Nope. This beat is boring as fuck. Well, it could be entertaining if there was a really good rapper on it. Fabolous & Jadakiss are dope, but they aren’t good enough to make a beat like this interesting. Troy’s verse is AVERAGE. He WHAT THE FUCK??? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS HOOK? THIS MOTHERFUCKER SOUNDS LIKE FUCKIN’ SCOOBY ASS DOO. WHY IS HE SINGIN’ LIKE THAT? WHY IS HE MAKING HIS VOICE CRACK LIKE THAT? HE SOUNDS LIKE A HALF DEAD DOG THAT’S SCREAMING FOR IT’S FUCKNG LIFE. NO. NO. THIS IS FUCKING HORRENDOUS. WHY? Why the fuck did Fab & Jada agree to get on this motherfucking shit? Fuck. Jada’s verse was actually pretty fuckin’ dope, but this fucking hook man… I don’t believe this shit. Who the fuck could’ve possibly thought that this shit was a good idea? Troy Ave himself is a bad idea, but this shit right here? Unbefuckinglievable. This shit is fucking terrible. I don’t know what fucking word to use to tell y’all how much I hate this shit. It’s so fucking bad. Fabolous actually killed it to be honest, but this shit is unforgivable. I cannot believe this motherfucker did a fucking Scooby Doo impression. What the fuck is this shit? This is one of the worst hooks I’ve ever heard in my motherfucking life. Nah. This shit. The fucking verses from Jada & Fab were dope tho. That’s the annoying thing. It’s fucking awful tho. Nah. I can’t fuck with this fucking BULLshit. The only reason it ain’t gettin’ 1 is because of Jada, Fab & maybe Chase N. Cashe. I fuck with Chase N. Cashe. The beat wasn’t amazing, but it was cool. 2/5
Track 14: Anytime Feat. Snoop Dogg (Prod. John Scino)
This beat is dope. Everyone’s heard this sample before. I don’t know what it’s from tho. Y’all probably know. Oh my God. This fucking hook is so bad. Troy… What is the problem? Seriously, why does this keep happening? You need to work on your hooks bro. Do not sing. Seriously. You cannot sing. Fuck. This doesn’t sound right at all. It doesn’t even really fit over this beat. Oh man. I don’t know. I kinda liked the beat at first, but these drums… Those trap hi-hats and this heavy bass don’t really fit with the sample. I like the sample, but this wasn’t done very well. This is so bad. The hook is terrible, the beat is just incorrect and the lyrics are just as uninteresting as they are on every other track. The beat really isn’t that… It’s just the bass. It’s too much for this sample. The hi-hats aren’t that bad once you get used to them. The bass just doesn’t sound right tho. I don’t know how the fuck this motherfucker got a verse from Snoop Dogg. He’s actually rapping for real on this one tho. His verse was cool I guess. “Fo’ sheezy my neezy.” I don’t know. It wasn’t terrible. This song really isn’t that bad. I just can’t fuck with it. It’s alright. I guess. 3/5
Track 15: Taste Of Revenge (Prod. Chase N. Cashe)
This beat is actually pretty dope. I fuck with Chase N. Cashe man. I don’t know why, but I actually kinda fuck with this hook. It works well with this beat. It definitely would’ve been better if he had a better voice tho. For real his singing voice is so terrible. His voice is terrible in general, so I don’t know why the fuck he thought singing this himself was a good idea. If he can afford a verse from Snoop Dogg I’m sure he can afford a decent singer. It’s not that terrible tho. This beat is so dope. Okay he’s rapping about some bad ass chick who got robbed by some guy. It’s definitely more interesting than anything else on the album. I’d much rather here about this chick than Troy Ave himself. I just can’t get behind this guy’s flow, man. I feel like he just goes a little too slow. He sound like he has trouble gettin’ the words out of his mouth at the right time, so he just sorta falls off beat. It’s not that bad. It’s just kind of annoying. This is actually kinda dope. Ah shit… He’s rapping about himself now. I don’t care. His voice is just… boring and annoying at the same time. I don’t care about what he’s saying. HE doesn’t even sound like he cares. This is alright I guess. I wish I could call this dope, but there’s just too much I don’t like. I kinda fuck with it, but I kinda don’t. It’s AVERAGE. 3/5
Final Thoughts:
Oh my God. Thank God it’s over. I wasn’t expecting to dislike this shit as much as I did. As soon as I heard his voice I knew this wasn’t gonna be good tho. His voice just doesn’t work for Hip Hop. Well, I shouldn’t say that… His voice just doesn’t work for ME. I don’t like this shit because Troy Ave seems like an uninteresting & arrogant prick with an annoying voice. I don’t hate Troy Ave. What I DO hate is fuckin’ fucked up pieces of shit like Doo Doo & Fake Butt Busta. That shit is fucking horrible. Unbelievable. I don’t know how shit like that makes it out of the studio. At the same time tho… As a whole, this project really isn’t THAT horrible. I mean, it’s pretty bad, but it definitely could’ve been worse. The first 75% of this album is terrible, but that last quarter is… Well, it definitely isn’t good, but it isn’t that bad. I don’t know… It’s just… AVERAGE. Uninteresting. His voice puts me to sleep. The shit he raps about is incredibly generic. He has NOTHING interesting to say. It’s ridiculous. Stop singing. That’s gotta stop. Most GOOD rappers can’t sing, so I don’t know who the fuck told this guy that he could… Yes-men. That’s the problem. Troy Ave needs to stop surrounding himself with dick riders. It’s obvious that he loves dick riders. He clearly hates his “haters” more than anything and his music is pretty bad, so it makes sense that he would surround himself with yes-men. He needs to stop being so insecure and learn how to take some criticism because this shit clearly isn’t workin’ for him. Unless he makes some unrealistic improvements, NOBODY is gonna remember this guy in 3 years. I can’t fuck with this shit. This shit right here is wack to me. Nah. Not feelin’ it.
Favorite Song: Finagle The Bagel
Least Favorite Song: Doo Doo
Verdict:
40%
Focus Hip Hop 
OMG you were right when you said these hooks are bad. That Do Me No Favors hook just killed my ears
I dont know how shit like that gets approved