If y’all are wondering why this website is called Black Culture “TV,” it’s because I was originally just gonna post videos about Hip Hop and other shit, but that clearly isn’t what happened. I always kinda wanted Black Culture TV to be an alternative to BET and/or WorldStarHipHop. Black Culture TV is supposed to be a celebration of African American Culture, rather than a shameless display of black stereotypes. I probably focus on just Hip Hop a little too much, but if this shit grows as much as I would like it to, then I’ll probably have other writers helping with the site who’ll talk about other shit like… Uh… Fuck… What else is there? …I guess movies. I don’t know. If things turn out the way they should—which, if we’re being real, they probably won’t—Black Culture TV will be much bigger than WorldStarHipHop ever was someday. I want to help African Americans succeed rather than just exploiting their stereotypes and getting money from it. Well, now that I’ve explained that somewhat serious topic… Let’s make a low-budget & stupid as fuck award show. I will be basing several of the categories off of the 2015 BET Hip Hop awards, and adding a few of my own. If someone doesn’t get a nomination, that means that I either didn’t get around to listening to his/her shit, or I just don’t think (s)he deserves it. As always, this is completely subjective. I’m not a music expert, and none of the opinions in this article should be taken too seriously.
Best Music Video:
Winner: Colin Tilley
Runner Up: Taylor Johnson
I actually thought that all five of these music videos were really cool. The Señorita video was probably my least favorite out of all of these, but I still thought it was dope. It shows how living in the hood is like being in the middle of a war zone. That’s why it’s my least favorite out of all of these tho. I don’t mind the message he’s trying to convey, but that part of the video just isn’t that entertaining. It’s boring. I know that sounds fucked up, but it really is. It’s just some guy slowly walking down a street while people are getting shot. It’s really not a bad thing. It just lasts way longer than it should. It gets old pretty quickly. The best part is right at the end tho, where the camera zooms out and all you see is a rich white republican family watching all the fucked up shit in the hood through a TV and smiling like it’s a fucking joke. When I saw that shit the first time, all I could think of was the ignorant ass privileged kids at my school. It’s great. I didn’t even realize how much of a joke that kinda shit was to white people until I started going to a Catholic high school. It’s so fucking patronizing. I didn’t realize that people actually took stereotypes that seriously. Logic had the next best video to me. I usually lean towards more serious videos personally. If a video is gonna try to be silly, it has to be really fuckin’ funny for me to actually like it, which is why none of Drake’s music videos were nominated… Anyway, the Young Jesus video by Logic started off pretty average. He wasn’t really doin’ anything different at first. It was really well shot, but he was still just rapping at the camera. He eventually makes things more interesting by joining Big Lenbo as a waiter in some fast food place. Things really don’t get interesting until Big Lenbo shows up. This music video would be way less interesting without him. I don’t know if it’s just because he’s kinda on the heavy side or what, but he just seems like a funny guy. When I saw that he was getting car jacked I knew this wasn’t about to be an average music video. He started running after the car and he looked fuckin’ pissed. Seriously this motherfucker was running really hard. He was going really slowly tho. He just looked like he was using a fuck load of energy. The video just gets more and more entertaining. I can’t decide what my favorite part is. I really like how Big Lenbo was playin’ a cop and he arrested Logic with a donut in his mouth, but that last scene where Logic has the fake mustache was just so great. That’s probably my favorite part. So there ya go. Logic had a great music video. Next up is Mick Jenkins. I gotta give a shoutout to Jean Deaux right here. Everybody has that one musician or actor that they just think is fuckin’ bad af, and mine is Nicki Minaj. Jean Deaux would probably also be in that category tho. That is one bad ass chick. Anyway, y’all know that I really am not a fan of love songs, but Mick Jenkins always seems to pull them off correctly for me. He doesn’t do that boring ass typical song where he sees a chick with a fat ass in the club and pretends he’s gonna marry her. Nah. That shit is lame af. Healer & Your Love are probably two of my favorite love songs tho. I really don’t like love songs, so that’s sayin’ a lot. I guess it makes sense that Mick Jenkins would know how to make a good song about bein’ thirsty. I don’t think he could’ve done a better job with this video. It was the perfect way to visually portray the song. He’s just some thirsty ass guy who does not give up when he’s tryna get this chick. He’s like the black Johnny Bravo. I love the 80s style aesthetic that the video has too. I love how Mick is just dancing in front of Jean, who has no idea what the fuck is happening. The part where she smacks his fake mustache off is great too. Huh. I guess the secret to being nominated for one of these awards is wearing a fake mustache. If I was a musician I would wear a fake mustache in all of my videos. It’s not only the music with this Mick Jenkins video tho. I feel like I would want to watch this even if it wasn’t a music video. Mick Jenkins is playing a genuinely entertaining character. I would watch a whole miniseries on YouTube with this guy in it. Not a whole TV show tho. That’s a bit too much. Great job with the music video tho. Anyway, the runner up for this category is Earl Sweatshirt. That music video for Off Top is fucking bananas. Everything about that music video is beautiful. That’s not a word that I like to just throw around either. I’m gonna sound dorky as a motherfucker sayin’ this, but the animation in that video is so cool. I love the grainy visual effects on it too. It was apparently used as one of them little ads that airs on Adult Swim, which isn’t hard to believe. That music video made me want an Earl Sweatshirt cartoon TV show. I’d watch the fuck outta that. I hope Taylor Johnson makes more videos with Earl like that in the future. That shit was dope af. It almost won the award for best music video. Kendrick Lamar also released an album this year tho. I wasn’t really blown away by the King Kunta video. It was cool, but it wasn’t touchin’ a lot of the videos I just talked about. I was starting to become worried that the music videos for To Pimp A Butterfly wouldn’t be as impressive as the actual album was for me, especially after that i music video. What the fuck was that weird shit he was doing with his elbow? Well, needless to say, the music video for Alright blew me the fuck away. The way he mixed in the poem at the beginning with samples from How Much A Dollar Cost and Cartoons & Cereal was so dope. Then he has the fuckin’ police officer shooting at the black guy. Keep in mind, all this shit happens before any actual music starts, and he actually manages to keep things interesting. He does for me at least. Then you see the words… “Kendrick Lamar; Alright, Directed by Colin Tilley; The Little Homies; Top Dawg Entertainment.” What happens next? ScHoolboy Q. Ab-Soul. Jay Rock. Kendrick Lamar. All in the same car drinkin’ 40s. You wouldn’t believe how happy I got when I saw Black Hippy sittin’ in that car together. Then Kendrick starts talkin’ about how he’s gonna be the greatest “on the dead homies.” Then all of a sudden, a BRAND NEW beat from Sounwave comes on outta nowhere. When that shit came on the first time, I was like, “What the fuck? What is this? This is incredible! What song is this? I MUST KNOW NOW!” The beat from Sounwave was so fucking incredible. Then Kendrick starts goin’ in. It’s not Alright. It’s a brand new verse. Over a brand new Sounwave beat. I don’t know what kind of sick game Kendrick thinks he’s playin’ with us, but he needs to release that goddamn song. I think I read somewhere that it isn’t a full song, and that they just recorded a few bars for the music video. I hope to god that that isn’t the case. I need a Black Hippy song over that beat. Anyway, Jay Rock starts pourin’ his 40 out the window, and the camera zooms out, and all you see is four police officers carrying the car. That is so fuckin’ gangsta. The screen cuts to black and the song stops playing. Then Alright comes on. I love Alright and everything, but I need to hear a full version of that Sounwave song. That shit sounded incredible. Everything after this in the music video is pure insanity. One second Kendrick’s hittin’ donuts around a police car, the next he’s literally floating through the streets. It’s great. The atmosphere of this video is just pure fucking happiness. I don’t even know how. I don’t know if it’s the B&W filter or the high pace of everything goin’ on, but it just makes your heart start racing. Also, I don’t know who that chick at 4:50 is, but she looks fuckin’ bad af. Once the bridge starts, you see a racist ass pig pull up and whip out a big ass gun. Kendrick is standin’ on top of a light pole, which is admittedly dangerous as fuck, but I don’t think the police officer handled it in the best way… The police officer is apparently a super villain or something because he doesn’t even use his gun. He just points his fingers at K. Dot and blasts him the fuck away. The music stops, and Kendrick falls off the light pole. Is that what it’s called? Light pole? Kendrick recites the TPAB poem again as he’s falling, and when he lands, he opens his eyes and smiles at the camera. That’s it. I have not seen a single other music video as eventful as this one. Even the other Kendrick videos haven’t been this exciting. The For Free? & These Walls videos weren’t bad, but they ain’t got nothin’ on that Alright video. Alright wasn’t even my favorite song from To Pimp A Butterfly, but that video was crazy. Kendrick & Colin Tilley win the best music video for 2015 without question. This is just for Hip Hop tho. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I don’t really know about music videos for other genres. I don’t really watch music videos for other shit. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the best overall music video for 2015 tho. It’s great. I’d like to talk about a video that I didn’t nominate real quick. It’s for Buffalo by Tyler The Creator. He directed it himself. I don’t know exactly what message he was trying to send by being in white face and getting hanged by a bunch of black people. I will say this tho; that dumbass t-shirt he was wearing definitely kept him from being nominated. He probably wouldn’t have been nominated if he wasn’t wearing it anyway, but still. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, Tyler is wearing a t-shirt that he started selling to his fans earlier this year. On it, there are the words “Golf Pride Worldwide,” as well as a rainbow colored NEO-NAZI SIGN. Apparently he was trying to “take the symbol back.” Yup. In 2015 we still have people talking about taking shit back. That’s why he uses the N & F words so freely. Let’s see exactly what he had to say about this shit… “Now having the thought process that i have, i asked myself some questions: What if a black guy wore this logo on a shirt? Would he be promoting self hate? Would he be taking the power out of a shape? What if a gay guy wore this on a shirt? Would he promoting Homophobia? Then BAM! I Had it.” Wow. I’m sorry, but I personally think that that is stupid as fuck. I don’t mean to be a condescending prick (even though I kind of am right now), but I’m pretty sure that people saying the F word all the time isn’t gonna end homophobia. Black people have been trying for a long ass time, but has “taking back the N word” ended racism? Hahaha. NO. You know why? Me using the word “nigger” as a “term of endearment” doesn’t automatically stop Donald Trump from using it as a synonym for “thug” or “savage.” I go to a Catholic school in North Carolina, so I hear the F word every day. You can’t change a racist/homophobic person’s view of minorities/homosexuals just by pretending that that neo-nazi symbol or the F word doesn’t mean what it actually means. Remember in elementary school how teachers used to always say this dumb ass shit? “If a bully says something mean, just look him right in the eyes, and say, ‘thanks!’ Hahahahahahahahaha! (Old people laugh at the dumbest shit) They will be so confused!” Remember when you actually decided to listen to the stupid ass teacher, and you ended up getting your fucking ass kicked? I’m pretty sure that kind of approach to shit like this doesn’t work… He also had the nerve to say “Also, ever since my career started, ive been labeled as a homophobe, simply because of my use of the word faggot. Again, trying to take the power out of something, I WAS NEVER REFERRING TO SOMEONES SEXUAL PREFERENCE WHEN USING THAT WORD. I mean, i’m legit one of the least homophobic guys to walk this earth but, most people just read the surface.” Seriously? “i’m legit one of the least homophobic guys to walk this earth.” You know what that reminds me of? “I DON’T HAVE A RACIST BONE IN MY BODY!” He also has that line in Rusty where he’s like, “They said I hate gays even tho Frank is on ten of my songs.” He’s like the racist republican guy who uses “ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS IS BLACK!” as his only defense. Not to mention that shit he said about referencing peoples’ sexual preferences. Half the people that use the F word these days AREN’T talking about peoples’ sexual preferences. That doesn’t make it any less offensive. What if somebody called Obama a “fucking nigger,” and then defended himself by saying “I. Was. NOT! Referring to his race.” I don’t know about y’all, but I wouldn’t give that asshole a fucking pass. It doesn’t matter whether or not you’re talking about somebody’s sexuality; the F word is extremely offensive in any context. You would think that somebody in Tyler’s position would be mature enough to realize this shit. Anyway, I’m not exactly sure what the message behind the video was, and I actually have a feeling that I strongly disagree with it, but either way it’s still very creative. It’s a lot more creative than most music videos… The second half of it is for Find Your Wings too. The part where Left Brain pretends to beat off at the camera was great. Most of the criticism I just gave was for the shirt, and not the actual video. I didn’t really love it, but it’s not really bad. I couldn’t have nominated it for this category or the next one, so that’s why I had to awkwardly shoehorn my thoughts of it at the end of this one here. Sorry ’bout that… Congratulations Colin Tilley.
Worst Music Video:
Runner Up: Troy Ave
Alright, here we go… I really didn’t know whether or not I should call the person who had the worst music video a “winner” or “loser,” but I guess he is the winner. He’s just winning an award for something bad. That makes sense I think. I’m gonna talk about these videos in order from best to worst. They’re all really bad tho. I also didn’t want to name the directors of these videos. I feel kinda bad shitting on them like this. Rappers should be used to it, but I don’t wanna be too hard on the directors. Another reason that I’m not naming them is because I couldn’t find out who directed the Tech N9ne one. It is what it is tho. Okay. Out of these, the best music video is for King Los’ Can’t Fade Us song, which featured Ty$. Terrible. If you’re gonna make an animated music video, use this one as an example of what not to do. Watch the Earl video that I mentioned above, and then watch this video. I don’t care whose music you think is better. Just watch them with the sound off and tell me that there isn’t a dramatic difference in quality. The Off Top video worked because it looked like the animator actually had experience making cartoons. I don’t even know what the fuck I was looking at when I saw that Can’t Fade Us video. It was bad enough as it was with the shitty animation, but when I had those cartoon asses shakin’ in my face I was fucking done. Who the fuck thought that that shit was a good idea? Seriously, that was just hard to look at. Why did they do that? That is absolutely terrible. I felt like they reused the same 5 scenes over and over again too. First you would have King Los in front of the camera, then you would have Ty$’ lips singin’ the awful hook, then you would have the lyrics, then you would have the fuckin’ asses shakin’, then you would have Ty$ awkwardly getting closer to the camera, then it would start all over again. Probably not in that order. It doesn’t matter tho. It wouldn’t even be that bad if they just tried a little harder. The animation is awful, but if they at least added some more scenes in then it probably wouldn’t have been nominated. Actually, they probably should’ve taken more scenes out. Just take out the animated twerking. If that wasn’t on here, I wouldn’t have nominated that shit. That shit was fucking horrifying. The next video is from one of my favorite MCs of all time, Tech N9ne. I’m sorry to all of the Tech stans that may be reading this, but that video is fucking horrible. If it weren’t for Hopsin & Troy Average, that would probably be the dumbest shit I’ve seen all year. Just look at the fuckin’ effects. The effects in that video look fucking horrible. What is that even supposed to be? Tech’s sitting on a throne at the top of a fucking mountain with a bunch of random ass white women dancing around. Then there are some explosions in the background. Meanwhile he’s got Ryan Bradley just standing there awkwardly looking into the distance with sunglasses like jackass. The quality of the video reminds me of Sharknado. Seriously, all of the shitty effects & CGI made me think of Sharknado. I don’t know what else there is to say. It’s awful. It’s seriously one of the dumbest videos I’ve ever seen. Alright, next up is Troy Ave. If y’all haven’t already read my review of Major Without A Deal, I suggest you do that. I pretty much said everything there is to be said about this music video in that article. I roasted the shit out of it. It’s really bad. You really don’t need me to tell you why it’s bad tho. Just watch it yourself. I don’t know what the fuck Troy was thinking when he made this song, nor do I know what the fuck the director of the video was thinking. Last & least is Hopsin. This music video is just pathetic. Nothing was done right. To be fair, it fits the shitty song perfectly. I just… I don’t know. You have the incredibly cliché opening where this white chick is giving a shitty presentation to her class about marketing. Then the teacher’s like, “Good job, Generic White Girl. The next uh presenter uhhh… will be uhhh Mr. Hopson. Uhhhh, Marcus Hopson; the podium is yours.” Hopsin’s sittin’ in the back with his white contacts in. Lookin’ like a dumbass. He starts his “presentation” off with the dumbest line possible. “I was taught that education was the only way to make it / Then how’d I get so much money inside my savings?” Are you fuckin’ shitting me, Marcus? D. Respect & Dom Rabrun mentioned this in one of their episodes of Dubl D’s. They were talkin’ about how the only thing worse than Hopsin is a Hopsin stan. That is the truest thing I’ve ever heard. You know why? Because the Hopsin stan is exactly like Hopsin. As soon as I heard the first line of this song, I just pictured a Hopsin stan being like “I learned more from one Hopsin verse than I did in my entire school career!” Are you fucking shitting me? Your ENTIRE school career? Sorry. I’m getting off topic. I need to talk about the video instead of the song. You probably already know where this music video is going from what I already told you tho. The other students weren’t really paying attention at first, but as Hopsin continues to “enlighten” them, they start paying more attention. The stupid kids are slowly looking up from their phones at Hopsin as if he’s some sort of revolutionary figure who is preaching the most brilliant shit they’ve ever heard. “Did the man who invented college go to college? Hmm. Okay, then.” That’s probably the worst line I’ve heard in a Hip Hop song all year. Does he seriously think that college was invented by one person? Does he think some guy was just like “You know what? High School isn’t enough. From now on, college will be the only way to make it in life.” I don’t even know what point he was trying to make with that line in the first place. Sorry. I’m getting off topic again. Once the hook starts, the video cuts to some white guy dramatically smoking a cigarette. Hopsin is informing this man that smoking is bad for him. That’s so depressing. Can you imagine if you were addicted to nicotine, and you didn’t realize that it was bad until Hopsin told you? I would honestly just kill myself at that point. What makes Hopsin think that people don’t know that smoking cigarettes is bad for you? It’s fucking 2015. Nobody smokes cigarettes anymore. Of course the white guy dramatically crushes his cigarette after the almighty Marcus Hopson inspires him. This video is fucking disgusting. This is so fucking stupid. This seriously seems like a parody. When I first saw this video, I thought it was a parody video making fun of Hopsin, but then I realized that Hopsin is really just that much of a douchebag. There’s a scene where some old white men put a game called “People’s Lives” in a Playstation 3 and start playing it. The box says “Microsoft,” but they put it in a Playstation. This isn’t even the worst of it tho. After about four minutes, you see four of the students running into the sunset in slow motion. Then it cuts to Hopsin and the students walking through the forest wearing fucking loincloths and using long wooden sticks as canes. I’m not joking. This seriously happened.
Hopsin… What the fuck are you doing, man? Seriously, what is this? Lmao. He still has the contacts in too. What the fuck does he think he’s doing? Seriously. Why is he… What is this? Is he trying to say that we need to live like cavemen if we don’t want to be manipulated by old rich white men? I would actually encourage Hopsin to do that himself. Just leave me and the rest of the normal people the fuck outta that. I don’t care if I’m being manipulated or not. I’m happy enough. I certainly wouldn’t be happier living with your corny ass in the middle of a fuckin’ rainforest. There’s a scene where they launch doves into the air. I’m fucking done. This is fucking… I’m done. I’m done with this fucking video. I don’t wanna have to think about this bullshit anymore. Congratulations, Hopsin. You made the worst music video of 2015.
Winner: Kendrick Lamar Feat. Rapsody
Runner Up: Czarface Feat. R.A. The Rugged Man
Alright, the collaboration in last place out of all of these would probably be Tech N9ne, Krizz Kaliko & EMINƎM honestly. The verses all had great flows. The flows on this song were so good that I had to call it dope af. There are little things that I don’t like about it tho. The shit they were actually saying was pretty… I don’t know. They were rapping so fast that you could barely keep up with what they were saying. A lot of the bars were great, but they clearly took a step back for their flows. If it weren’t for their flows this would be a pretty bad song to me. I’m not really feelin’ the beat, and the fuckin’ hook was awful. I had to cut that shit out with GarageBand. Tech N9ne probably had my least favorite verse to be honest. I loved the alliteration and the fast pace of his verse, but the shit he was talking about just wasn’t that interesting. I still fuck with the song tho. It’s a great collaboration. It’s just not as good as the next four. Goddamn. It’s so hard to rank good songs. Fuck. Alright. Next up is Medicine Man. The reason this one wasn’t closer to winning the award was because of Dr. Dre. He did a fantastic job with the production, but his verse… Every time I listen to his song I dislike his verse more and more. That’s actually a problem I’ve been having with his whole album. His delivery and flow honestly sounded kinda amateurish. Maybe it’s because he didn’t have as many songwriters. Candice Pillay & Anderson .Paak did a great job, but let’s be real here. It may just be me, but every time I hear this song I feel like skipping through it just to get to EMINƎM‘s verse. He completely outdid everyone on the song. He fuckin’ Controlled that shit. That song would be so much less interesting without EMINƎM. I guess that’s not a bad thing. He has such a great verse that it almost made me dislike Dr. Dre’s part even more than I already did tho. Dr. Dre’s verse was just… Nah. It wasn’t even that bad. It just wasn’t good. And the part at the beginning where they have that guy bein’ like “Doc. Doc! You gotta give us some good news,” & Dre’s like “Yeah… About that…” is corny as fuck. Maybe I should cut out Dr. Dre’s part in GarageBand. Yeah. I think I’ll do that. It’s still a great song tho. Dre did a great job with the production. Candice sounds great on the hook, and y’all know I fuck with Anderson .Paak. EMINƎM ripped that shit to shreds tho. Next is Latino, Pt. 2. There’s not really much to say about this one. Everybody did a fantastic job. Emilio & Bodega Bamz had some great verses. !llmind did his thing on the production. Joell had a dope ass verse too. Chris Rivers fucking… That boy right there murdered that shit. He easily had my favorite verse. It’s another one of those situations where I look forward to his verse the most. It’s not to the extent of Em’s verse on Medicine Man, but he still killed that shit. I love how there’s no hook too. There’s just nothing but bars. If y’all don’t know, Chris Rivers is actually Big Pun’s son, and you can tell from the way he spits. He has that same vicious delivery. He killed that shit. Great song. The runner up is Good Villains Go Last. This is just like the last song. It was the perfect finale for the Czarface album. 7L did a great job with that beat. Esoteric & Inspectah Deck went in like they always do. The song was already dope af. But again, there was one standout verse that just pushed this shit to the next level. R.A. The Motherfuckin’ Rugged Man. Absolutely killed that shit. You know what the crazy thing is? I still think Em’s verse on Medicine Man was better than any of the verses on this song. Czarface had the consistency tho. Every verse on this song was dope af. There was only one verse that I thought was dope af on Medicine Man. There’s no hook on the Czarface one either. Every MC killed that shit. 7L did a great job too. That’s one of my favorite beats on the album. The award definitely goes to K. Dot tho. I probably shouldn’t have to say this, but I’m just gonna tell y’all right now. Kendrick is about to win a lot of awards tonight. Complexion is easily the best collaboration. It’s not just bars like the last few collabs were. Every facet of this song pushes it to the next level. From the shit they were rappin’ about to the way the song was structured. Kendrick was already doing a great job on this song by himself, but once that break came in and that chick was singin’ in the background I knew this shit was something special. That’s the type of shit that you can just be dancin’ to, and then once that chick comes in you have to slow shit down.
And then Rapsody comes in and spits a damn near perfect verse for this song. I couldn’t have asked for a better feature on this song. There was only one rap feature on Kendrick’s album and he made that shit count. It’s not even just the shit she was saying tho. Her delivery made it sound even better, and the way Kendrick set that shit up was fantastic. The transition from Kendrick’s bridge into Rapsody’s verse is fucking perfect. They actually had chemistry on this song together. I’m not saying that the other nominees didn’t, but it wasn’t on this level. This shit is crazy. Congratulations Kendrick Lamar & Rapsody. That shit was crazy.
Best Live Performance:
Kendrick Lamar – The Late Show W/ Stephen Colbert
Kanye West – The 2015 BRIT Awards
Drake – OVO Fest 2015
Winner: Kendrick Lamar
Runner Up: Drake
Alright, this category obviously wasn’t really focused on the quality of the music. All of these performances have one thing in common tho. Everybody was talking about them after they happened. Actually that isn’t true at all. I don’t know why I said that. Some people were talking about them tho. They’re all pretty exciting. Kanye came in last place. It was cool, but he still didn’t really do much. He just had a bunch of random motherfuckers up there with flamethrowers. It was cool, but definitely not worthy of this award. It was just flamethrowers. Once you look past the flamethrowers and the mob, it really wasn’t that great of a performance. I mean it was good. It was just… I don’t know. It just felt like it was missing something. I don’t know. Also, he really should’ve cut back on that N word. It was at the BRIT Awards. There were so many white people. He censored it on the hook. Why didn’t he do that for the verses? He easily could’ve replaced the N word with “brotha” or “homie.” That’s more of a criticism of the actual song tho. I should save that for the review of his upcoming album SWISH, which is a GOD awful name by the way. There’s not really much to say about the performance other than “he had a flamethrower.” It was cool tho. I probably would’ve liked it more if I hadn’t already heard the song before I saw the performance. Oh that must be why so many people were talking about it. The performance took place before the song was actually released. So there ya go. Drake’s OVO Fest performance was pretty crazy. I didn’t think that the beef was that exciting, but the way Drake handled it was actually really impressive. I don’t even really even like Drake anymore at this point, but I don’t know how he could’ve handled that beef in a better way. I mean, the diss tracks that he released definitely could’ve been better, but the way he approached the situation was genius. I’m pretty sure that this performance took place within the week of Back To Back’s release, so his dickriders were getting pretty rowdy. Drake clowned the shit outta Meek Mill tho. He absolutely destroyed Meek’s ass. Of course since the internet is in love with Drake, there were thousands of memes about the Meek Mill beef, so at his show he performed Back To Back while a shit load of memes were popping up on the screen behind him. Can you imagine being Meek Mill and seeing that shit? Those stans wanted to swallow Drake’s reproductive fluids. He made people feel like shit for being a Meek Mill fan. That’s how you know you won a beef. Goddamn. It was exciting, but the actual performance itself wasn’t really that great. That’s why it didn’t win. Kendrick Lamar tho? That shit was incredible. I don’t like going to concerts, but every time I see a new performance from To Pimp A Butterfly I’m like, “Wow. That actually looks kinda fun.” You should do yourself a favor and watch the performance up there. It’s crazy. I couldn’t find it without the subtitles, but it is what it is. The way he mixed several songs into one performance made it so much better too. I seriously get equally as excited for new Kendrick Lamar performances as I do for new Kendrick Lamar songs because I always know they’re gonna be extremely well put together. Not even Drake & Kanye put as much effort into their live performances as Kendrick did. That shit was bananas. So yeah. He wins. Congratulations again, Kendrick Lamar.
Lyricist Of The Year:
Winner: Lupe Fiasco
Runner Up: Kendrick Lamar
Okay, this one was pretty hard for me. Let’s start with King Los. He honestly probably could’ve won this award if he was more consistent. I mean, the shit he was saying on the first half of his album was incredible. If he rapped like that all the time, he would probably be in my top 5 rappers of this generation. That’s the thing. He is an incredible rapper. He’s a great MC. That’s only when he wants to be tho. I said “first half of his album.” Listen to Lil Black Boy, and then listen to Blame It On The Money. I rest my case. Next up is probably Esoteric. When it comes to bars, this guy is one of the best. He could go up against any of these MCs and hold his own. He’s one of the best MCs I’ve personally discovered this year. I hate that term btw. When I say “discovered” I don’t mean that I was the first person to listen to his shit and make him popular or anything. I just mean I personally didn’t hear of him until this year. He’s just a dope ass rapper. That’s why he’s here. That’s part of why he didn’t win tho. Yeah, he’s a great rapper, but it wasn’t really… He wasn’t really talking about much. That’s part of why I like him, but when I think of lyricism, I like to be grabbed at an emotional level. That sounded a lot softer than it should have, but I don’t give a fuck. I love the way he raps. I just personally prefer MCs who talk about more serious things. He can spit his ass off tho. Also, shoutout to him for sharing my review of Every Hero Needs A Villain. That was dope. I even made one of his dickriders jealous. That was pretty funny. That’s probably my favorite thing that happened with my website this year. I love it when people—specifically dickriders—get mad about my shit. The fact that he was so blatantly jealous made it even better.
Yeah, why the fuck would I dickride someone who I’d never heard of?
Hahahahaha. What a dick. Sorry, I’m getting off topic. Anyway, Earl Sweatshirt comes in third for me on this one. I don’t get the impression that he could just rap his ass off like King Los or Esoteric, but he still clearly puts a lot of attention into the shit he’s actually saying. I really don’t know as much about Hip Hop as some of you may believe, but I still doubt that there are any MCs that can be darker and more depressing than Earl. When he says that he doesn’t go outside and that he doesn’t like shit, you really believe him. This is what I was talking about when I said I want more emotion from MCs. This guy is pure depression in the form of bars. The runner up is actually Kendrick. This was really tough for me. I think I’m finna talk about the runner up and the winner at the same time. I personally think that To Pimp A Butterfly is a perfect album. That said, Lupe Fiasco really came through on the lyrical side of things for his new album. That’s not even counting his Pharaoh Height mixtape that I didn’t get a chance to check out this year. I think that Kendrick’s album had an incredibly important message, but… Just listen to Mural. That shit was incredible. He just kept going and going. I still have no idea what the fuck he was talking about, but I fucking love that song. The symbolism and rhyme schemes on songs like Adoration Of The Magi & Mural is just mind blowing. Honestly it could go either way. They’re pretty much equal for me. I just gave the edge to Lupe because I felt bad about riding Kendrick’s nuts so much. They were both great tho. Congratulations Lupe Fiasco.
Producer Of The Year:
Winner: DJ Dahi
Runner Up: Dr. Dre
Wow. This is actually really hard. Fuck. Okay, last place goes to !llmind. Yeah. This is really hard. The beats on Human (with Joell Ortiz) were pretty great. They were all pretty consistent. They just didn’t really… I don’t know. I think !llmind and Joell Ortiz are a perfect pair. Joell Ortiz sounds really great over that grimy production. It honestly just didn’t really stick out as much as these other producers. His beats obviously stuck out enough since I nominated him for Producer Of The Year, but I honestly can’t really remember what any of the beats sound like. I mean, I remember Lil Piggies, but that’s mostly because of what Joell did over it. I still really liked the production tho. God. I feel like I’m dissing these nominated artists instead of talking about why their great. You should know why their great already. I’m just telling you specifically why they didn’t win. Let’s see who’s next… Probably 7L. I love the beats from Every Hero Needs A Villain (Ka-Bang is one of my favorite beats this year), but I’m honestly not really into that production style. I like the way certain MCs sound over shit like that, but the actual beats themselves rarely grab my attention. 7L does it really well tho. I’d love to hear Freddie Gibbs over some 7L production… I also think Danny Brown would sound great over that shit. That’s the thing tho. Beats like these have to go with the MC. They have to go together. I wouldn’t want to hear the Every Hero Needs A Villain beats by themselves without somebody spittin’ over them. Except Ka-Bang. I love that one. Anyway, next up is randomblackdude, A.K.A. Earl Sweatshirt. I Don’t Like Shit, I Don’t Go Outside had some of the best production I heard all year. I guess that goes without saying since I nominated him… Well, just listen to songs like Mantra, Huey, Faucet, and Inside and you’ll see why I nominated him. As a matter of fact, you should probably just listen to the whole album because it’s fuckin’ great. The runner up is Dre. The production on Compton just sounded so fucking clean and polished. I don’t know what else to say. It’s Dr. Dre. The beats were great. You can tell he put a lot of effort into those beats. They’re great. That Genocide beat is bonkers. That shit was great. And the winner is DJ Dahi. I’ve been ridin’ this motherfucker’s dick since I started this website. From the shit he did with Lupe to the shit he did with fuckin’ Vince Staples, this motherfucker’s beats were all dope. Anybody who makes a beat like Madonna deserves an award from me. That shit was incredible. I just realized that I’m really bad at talking about production. Basically, he had really good beats. Congratulations DJ Dahi.
Song Of The Year:
Winner: Kendrick Lamar
Runner Up: Lupe Fiasco
Holy fucking shit. This is so hard. I think all of these songs are incredible. Having to rank them like this is really really difficult. Damn. This is insane. I don’t know. I guess last would go to Dr. Dre. Jesus. This is crazy. Oh my God. I had to cut this shit down from 8 nominees. That was hard enough already, but now I gotta rank all this shit. What is there to say? All In A Day’s Work is an incredible song. The beat is incredible, the vocals from Anderson .Paak are fucking heavenly, and… Well… I guess that’s why it came in last for this category. It’s an incredible song, but I definitely wouldn’t like it nearly as much as I do without Anderson .Paak. Dr. Dre’s production was fucking great. His rapping… It really wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t on the level of Anderson .Paak’s singing. It’s still great tho. I honestly can’t remember what Marsha Ambrosius contributed to that song. Was she really on that song? Fuck it. It’s an incredible song. Just not worthy of this award. Alright… We got Freddie Gibbs. Black Thought. Mikhail. Extradite. That shit was bananas. This is the song that made me realize that Freddie Gibbs would sound great over a 7L beat. The beat that Mikhail made actually kinda sounds like a revised version of the Red Alert beat. The song is just two dope af MCs goin’ in over an incredible beat. That’s all it is tho. It’s that good. It has such a simple structure, but every facet of the song is absolutely incredible. Both MCs absolutely destroyed the beat, which was fucking incredible. Alright, next is Mick Jenkins. I fuckin’ love this song. Ps & Qs. Kaytranada somehow made me like a beat that heavily incorporates a guitar. That beat is bonkers to me. That’s right. Bonkers. Mick Jenkins absolutely tore it into shreds too. The FUCKING alliteration. That’s right. He pulled out the literary devices for this song. Almost every word started with either a P or a Q. Dope af. That song is fucking incredible. Fuckin’ love that shit. Okay, the runner up is Lupe. I’m gonna be honest, I didn’t expect any songs to be better than Madonna this year, and it came out in January. That’s how much I love this song. Everything about this song just sounds gigantic. This was easily the climax of the album for me. The beat, hook, bridge, and verses all just sounded huge. The beat and hook sounded kinda creepy, but really nice at the same time. And the way he mixed in that Santa Maria prayer was fucking great. I love everything about this song. Y’all may know that I really don’t like it when people describe art as “beautiful” because it’s just kinda corny to me, but to be honest that’s probably the best word anyone could use to describe this song. The same could be said for the actual winner of this award. I touched on it already when I was doing the best collaboration award, but Complexion is easily the best song I’ve ever heard this year. Well, maybe not easily. Madonna was pretty close. It’s still really great tho. I usually hate love songs, so it’s really saying a lot that Kendrick won song of the year with Complexion. The way he approached this shit was so genius to me tho. “Brown skinneded, but your blue eyes tell me your mama can’t run / Sneak dissin’ / Sneak me through the back window, I’m a good field nigga / I made a flower for you outta cotton just to chill with you.” When I realized that he was making a love song from the perspective of a slave, I was like “oh my fucking God. Is this the best song I’ve ever heard? Maybe I shouldn’t go that far. This is definitely in the top 500 tho…” I fucking love this song. I love everything about this song. The smooth ass beat, the angelic vocals on the hook, and the incredible verse from Rapsody make this song absolutely phenomenal. This is the dopest song of the year for me. Congratulations to Mick Jenkins for having the best solo track, and congratulations to Kendrick Lamar for song of the year.
Worst Song Of 2015:
Winner: Tyler The Creator
Runner Up: Hopsin
I actually couldn’t narrow this category down because there was so many shit ass songs, so there are just gonna be seven nominees for this one I guess. I really don’t know which song is the furthest from being considered the worst. I would just say “the best,” but it feels weird complimenting these terrible songs. They’re all really bad. Okay, lemme think… If somebody forced me to listen to one of these songs, which one would I do? …Uh… I guess… Probably City Boy Blues. Okay, let’s see. Why is this song so bad? It doesn’t even have anything to do with the lyrics. The music is just awful. Action Bronson singing. Does that shit sound good to you? It sure as hell doesn’t sound good to my black ass. He sounds like he’s about to pass out even when he’s just rapping, so why the fuck would anyone wanna hear him sing? Even if he was good at singing tho, it still wouldn’t sound good. The way his v… FUCK I JUST ACCIDENTALLY POSTED THIS ARTICLE BEFORE FINISHING IT!!!!!!!!!!! Why the fuck isn’t there an undo button for shit like that? Goddamn. WordPress seriously pisses me the fuck off sometimes. My finger slipped and clicked the “Publish” button, so I was like… “Oh. Oh shit.” I had to delete the automatic tweet and Google+ post for the article, then delete the actual article. For whatever reason they don’t let you view trashed articles, and when you take them out of the trash they automatically go back onto the website instead of being turned into drafts again, so I had to restore it, copy everything that I had originally written, delete the article again, and then paste it all in this new document. FUCK. I hope nobody saw that shit… Anyway, as I was saying, the way his vocals were mixed makes it sound like he was too far away from the mic, so it barely picked up anything he was saying. It doesn’t sound like a real song that he wanted people to hear. It sounds like he was just fuckin’ around. Even if he was a good singer, it would still be a wack song. It would be more tolerable, but it would still be bad. The production is completely uninteresting, and the actual melody that he’s singing just isn’t good at all. There’s not really much else to say. It’s just a really bad song. The next song is probably Damn by Lin Z. It appeared on B.o.B’s No Genre: The Label mixtape, which he used to showcase his artists. That’s right. B.o.B has his own label called No Genre. There is a woman named Lin Z, who’s job is making Hip Hop music. She’s not good at her job. Lin Z comes off as a super unlikeable and immature asshole who is super corny and follows damn near every fucking trend. She also probably thinks that it’s super cool to go to parties and get so drunk that she doesn’t remember what happened the night before. Fuckin’ hate fake ass people like that. Who seriously thinks that’s cool? People only do that because they think other people think it’s cool. Nobody actually likes doing that tho. At least, I don’t think they do. Well, the people that do probably don’t talk about it like it’s the coolest thing ever. I don’t fuckin’ know. I don’t drink and I’ve never had the desire to, so that’s probably just me. The song isn’t even that bad tho if you look at it objectively. She just seems so fucking lame. That’s my problem with it. Take every stereotypical college bitch and every lame trend and rap it up in a neat package. That’s what Lin Z is, and Damn is the perfect song to portray that. Oh God. Okay, what’s next? …I guess I’m gonna have to go with Doo Doo. Where the fuck do I start… Everything about this song is bad. Everything. Well, maybe that’s a little harsh… Lemme put it like this: Nothing about this song is good. The beat is terrible. This doesn’t sound like a Hip Hop beat. I didn’t even know it was possible for a beat to be corny until I heard this bullshit. It sounds like the background music in one of those commercials where… Well, I already said it in my review for the album. I really said everything there is to be said about this song in that review. The beat is terrible, the hook is even worse, and the bars are wack too. Troy Ave really fucked up with that album, man. It was not good. I don’t wanna talk about that bullshit anymore tho. It’s too much money to be made for me to waste time talkin’ about that shit. Just kidding. That seems like something Troy Ave would say tho. Actually, that sounds more like Rick Ross. Anyway, next up is Trinidad James with H.O.M.E. It stands for Hatin’ On Me, and as I said in the review for the project that it was on, that acronym doesn’t work. At least, not the way he wrote it. If anything it should be “H.O.Me.” Y’all didn’t come here for me to talk about fuckin’ acronyms tho. You know what the fucked up thing is? Trinidad James really didn’t have much to do with the song turning out as bad as it did. ILoveMakonnen was also featured on that shit. The main problem with this song is the hook. ILoveMakonnen is trying so hard to sing the hook, and his fans are trying so hard to pretend that it’s good. Seriously, his music is so bad. It’s unrealistic. His music is indescribably bad. There’s no way for me to tell you how bad it is because it’s just not possible. When whoever the fuck designed the English language was making adjectives, (s)he didn’t think that music could possibly get this bad, so (s)he stopped at “dog shit.” That’s exactly what his music is tho. Dog shit. He ended up turning poor Trinidad James’ song into dog shit. The beat isn’t even that bad. The hook is just so wack tho. It’s unbelievable. It lasts so long too. Why the fuck does the hook repeat over and over and over again? If I’m remembering correctly, Trinidad James’ verse doesn’t actually start until well over a minute into the song. That’s fucked up. Thankfully nobody will ever have to hear any shit like that ever again because right now ILoveMakonnen is wondering where his fame went, and I’m wondering how the fuck he got it in the first place. It gets worse tho. Somehow it gets even worse than a song by Trinidad James & ILoveMakonnen (What the fuck is a Makonnen anyway?). Tech N9ne rushed in a second album right before the year ended and decided to make a brand new song about a sexual maneuver that he spent countless hours developing with his groupies. That’s right. I’m talkin’ ‘bout the motherfuckin’ Chilly Rub. What is the Chilly Rub, you ask? Only the most enjoyable and mood-setting activity created in the 21st century. He even starts the song with a dick-elevating skit to show his listeners just how HOT it is. “Take off your shirt and your bra. (Okay) Lay on the bed on your stomach. (Mhhmm, okay) Okay, I’m gonna straddle you now, okay? (Alright) I’m gonna place my palms up. Then I’m gonna place the tips of my fingernails at the top of your left and right shoulders, and I’m gonna swirl down your back (Mmmmmm).” Yes, ladies & gentlemen, that is a real skit that opens up a real song about a real sex position that a real musician really made. Do I really need to explain any more? It speaks for itself. I don’t think you need my help to figure out how it got nominated for this category. The runner up is Hopsin, with FLY. I touched on this song when I was talking about the worst music video of 2015. I said “The other students weren’t really paying attention at first, but as Hopsin continues to ‘enlighten’ them, they start paying more attention.” I put the word “enlighten” it quotes to show how much of a narcissistic douchebag Hopsin is. What I didn’t realize is that he literally uses that word in the song. He literally thinks that highly of himself. “Let me enlighten you my niggas, just let your brain drift.” I’m sorry, but no asshole that calls me a nigga can enlighten me. You can take your childish world views and shove them up your fucking ass. Sorry. That pissed me off tho. This song is just so bad. It’s so bad. You know, a lot of people shit on Hopsin, saying that he’s corny. I don’t agree with those people. Oh wait, yes I do. You know why?
Yeah. That’s why. There are just so many dumb lines in this song. I already mentioned that line about the man who invented college going to college. “I know you seen parents trick kids with candy, toys, and Santa Claus.” Okay, I get the part about Santa Claus, but how the fuck do parents trick kids with candy and toys? Does he seriously think that candy and toys are just ways for parents to exploit they childrens? I was listening to a podcast with Anthony Fantano & D. Respect and they really put it best: Hopsin raps from the perspective of an angsty fourteen year old. That is the truest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say about Hopsin. Seriously, I can’t think of a better way to explain why he’s so bad. That’s it. That’s the problem. He raps like a teenager who has a problem with everything and thinks he knows everything even tho he hasn’t experienced anything yet. The sad thing is, Hopsin is 30 fucking years old, so I don’t know what his problem is. It’s like he never passed the teenage stage of development. That’s enough about Hopsin tho. I’ve shitted on him enough. There is a reason he didn’t have the worst song of 2015 anyway. If there’s one good thing I can say about the song, it’s that he has good intentions. You can tell that he wants to help people with his music. He probably does save the lives of a lot of suicidal 14 year olds too. Not that we need people like that to be saved, but still (I’m joking, dick). There is one song that is so bad that I was shocked that it could even be considered music. The award for the worst song of 2015 goes to Tyler The Creator for Cherry Bomb. That. Shit. Was. Terrible. I didn’t know that music could get this bad. I didn’t think I could possibly hear anything worse than H.O.M.E. when that shit first dropped. Cherry Bomb tho? Is you fuckin’ shitting me? Why the fuck would you release some shit like that? People are spending money on your project, and this is what you give them? This is what you give to people who have been dedicated fans and have spent money to get you where you are today? When I listen to Cherry Bomb, I feel like I’m listening to every Tyler The Creator song ever all at the same time. It seriously sounds like he took every track from Goblin and layered them over each other. “I really made this song just so I could perform it.” Cool. Perform it then. Don’t sell it to people like it’s a song worth paying for. Don’t name your fucking album after it. You didn’t have to release this as a song. Just do what you said you wanted to do. Perform it at shows. That should’ve been it for this song. It would’ve made it more interesting anyway. A song that you can only hear at shows. It would’ve been a reward for dedicated fans who spend time and money to see you in person. Granted, it would’ve been a wack ass reward, but at least it’s interesting. This shit is pure noise. I mean, people say that about a lot of bad music, but it’s literally just noise. Like, if I was walking down a street and I heard this song, I wouldn’t ask “What song is this?” I would ask “What is that noise?” because that’s what it is. Noise. Fucking horrible. Dog shit. That’s really what it is. That’s what all of these songs are, but especially this song. Congratulations, Tyler. Cherry Bomb is the worst song I’ve heard all year.
Album Of The Year:
Winner: Kendrick Lamar
Runner Up: Lupe Fiasco
Those nominees are my 6 highest rated albums of the year. They’re also my favorite, which should go without saying I guess. I would normally do a top 5, but I really didn’t wanna leave out one of them. I should rank these in order of their ratings, but I’m gonna go in order of the ones I like to listen to the most. Choosing a winner was easy. Ranking all of the other ones is the hard part. I’m gonna put Compton in last. I rated it higher than I Don’t Like Shit, I Don’t Go Outside, but I barely ever go back to it honestly. The production was fucking phenomenal, and the majority of the featured artists put they ass into this project. The biggest problem with it is definitely Dr. Dre’s rapping tho. The more and more I listen to the album, the less I like Dre’s verses. He is just not that great of a rapper. I don’t know if it’s because he tried to actually write his own shit this time or if he just has shitty songwriters. All I know is that his rapping isn’t very good. It’s not terrible. It’s just not very good. The production and dope song structure & mixing isn’t enough for me to want to return to it a lot. There are some shits on that project that I play a lot tho. Mainly the songs without Dre. Haha. Just Another Day & One Shot, One Kill are my shit. I definitely fuck with All In A Day’s Work & Genocide a lot too tho. That shit is great. I just have a lot of little problems with the other songs tho. Dre’s rappin’ could’ve been better on It’s All On Me, the beat during Xzibit’s verse was kinda disappointing, the outro to Loose Cannons is just annoying and keeps me away from listening to it casually, the drowning from Anderson .Paak on Deep Water is a bit much, the “IT’S MOTHERFUCKING GAME TIIIIIIME” intro to Just Another Day was corny, Dre’s rapping on For The Love Of Money was just bad, same goes for Animals & Medicine Man, and the beat to Satisfiction was annoying. That’s a lot of problems, but everything else about all of those songs was just great. I really did enjoy the album despite all of those problems. It’s dope af. Next up… FUCK. This is really tough… I gotta go with Earl. Man… You know what the weird thing is? I probably go back to this album more than any other project this year. I definitely think it has something to do with it’s short length tho. I always want an album that I can listen to all the way through in a short amount of time, so that’s why I play it so much. Earl has really stepped his production up as randomblackdude. I wouldn’t mind if he started producing shit for other rappers. If I learned anything from the album tho, it’s that he’s not about to start working with a lot of other MCs anytime soon. The beats from Huey, Mantra, Faucet, AM // Radio & Wool are really fuckin’ dope. Not just dope for Earl. They would be dope no matter who rhymed over them. Earl does sound really good over them tho. It was cool to hear him get a little more aggressive and less monotone on this album too. I definitely think some songs like Grief could’ve benefitted from his older monotone delivery, but for the most part it was all great. All of the features were dope. Earl was spittin’ like a motherfucker on every track. Vince Staples fuckin’ killed his feature on Wool too. That shit was crazy. I always at least listen to the first three tracks of this album when I’m in the mood for that type of shit. I think he started off the album damn near perfectly. I kinda underrated that Huey track too. I gave it a four. I don’t know what the FUCK I was thinking. Honestly, since it came right after the review for To Pimp A Butterfly, I think I was starting to get worried that I was going too easy on everyone, so I was trying really hard to dislike it. It was still dope af tho, so that should tell you how good it is. That Huey song is one of the best intros of the year. It definitely deserved a 5. Really dropped the ball on that one. My bad… Anyway, the next one’s gotta be King Push. I was kinda hesitant about nominating this one since it just came out, but it IS really dope, so fuck it. The production was all cool and abstract and everything, but it’s all about the fuckin’ bars when it comes to Pusha T. Pusha T drops so many fuckin’ quotable lines in his shit. It’s not even funny. As I said in the review, damn near every bar was a quotable line. This motherfucker is just a dope MC. What more can I say? What more could anyone ask for in Hip Hop? The production was great, and the features all did they thing for the most part. There were even some political bars in their too. Pusha T just comes off as a cool ass motherfucker. There’s not really any specific problem I had with the album. There was one song called Retribution that I wasn’t really in love with, but aside from that it’s a dope ass album. I mean dope af. All of these albums are dope af. You know, I have a homie named Jojo who doesn’t fuck with Pusha T. I will never understand that shit. He gets mad at me for hatin’ on French Montana tho. Pusha T is like 50 million times better than French Montana. Jojo’s trippin’. Ironically, I didn’t even realize how much I disliked French Montana until I heard his feature on Doesn’t Matter by Pusha T. That hook… Jesus Christ. The hook on Stay Schemin’ was bad enough, but Doesn’t Matter? There will never be a Pusha T song worse than that, and it’s all French Montana’s fault. I’m gettin’ sidetracked tho. Next up is Czarface. It was real hard for me to rank these albums because 4 of them got the same exact score. There were 100 possible numbers that they could’ve gotten, and they all landed on the same one. Ain’t that a bitch. Anyway, Czarface is a group consisting of Inspectah Deck and 7L & Esoteric. You know the shit is dope af when Inspectah Deck is your least favorite part. It’s not like he fell off here either. Esoteric is just that good. 7L’s beats are just straight Hip Hop. That’s all I can say. His beats are perfect for real lyric driven MCs. That shit I said about Pusha T having quotable lines also applies to INS & Esoteric too. They’re just great rappers. Not much else to say. What happens when you take two great MCs and one great producer? An album that’s dope af. Not to mention the great features. They had GZA, Meyhem Lauren, MF DOOM, R.A. The Rugged Man, and more. It’s just a great album. Good Hip Hop music. That’s what it is. They also get extra points since Esoteric tweeted out my review, which I mentioned earlier. That shit was great. The runner up was Lupe Fiasco. I’m gonna be honest, when I heard Tetsuo & Youth, I didn’t think I could possibly hear a better project than that this year. I thought it was guaranteed to be album of the year, and that was in January. That should tell you how much I liked it. I told everyone I know about the album. I told my mama and she doesn’t even listen to Hip Hop. The production was fantastic. When I heard Mural, I knew that the shit was about to be dope af. This motherfucker went in and did not stop. I feel like this motherfucker could just rap forever if somebody didn’t stop him. That’s how that song made me feel. It’s the same feeling I get from Tech N9ne. There are just so many high points. The Mural track, the subject matter of Prisoner 1 & 2, the hook from Troi on Body Of Work, the saxophone solo from Terrace Martin on Body Of Work, the gangsta ass posse cut Chopper, the haunting, yet beautiful song Madonna, the crazy ass rhyme scheme that he used on the third verse of Adoration Of The Magi, and the video game themed outro with Ab-Soul. I swear this album was fucking incredible to me. I was so happy to be able to say that Lupe Fiasco put out a great album. Do you know how fuckin’ long it’s been since motherfuckers have been able to say that? Several years. That’s right. SEVERAL. I loved it. It was dope af. I still listen to Madonna all the time. Fuckin’ love that song. Anyway, the winner is obviously Kendrick Lamar with To Pimp A Butterfly. I was in love with this shit from the moment I heard it. When I first heard i back in 2014, I was like… “uh oh…” It was just… Weird. When I went to the page for it on HotNewHipHop the first time, I saw that it had a relatively low user rating, and in my head I said, “Man, these Drake dickriders are just hatin’.” Then I listened to it and I was like “Man I hate Kendrick Lamar! Drake is the greatest of all time!” Just kidding that’s not what happened. I don’t think I hated it nearly as much as everyone else, but I really couldn’t get into it. The beat wasn’t really bad, but it just wasn’t that good to me. I liked the verses from Kendrick, but the hook was just corny to me. Not even the shit he was saying… Just the actual beat and… I don’t know. I remember telling Jojo, “It sounds like a fuckin’ Pharrell song.” The original version has kinda grown on me, but I still don’t love it. And that bridge when he was talkin’ about “Fee Fi Fo Fum” was just cornier than a motherfucker to me. So, needless to say, I was a little worried that my favorite MC was about to fall off. Fast forward a few months… I go on HotNewHipHop and see a brand new single from Kendrick Lamar called The Blacker The Berry. I remember exactly what happened. I was sittin’ on the little ass bench in my mama’s room, and when I saw it I literally said out loud “Aaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwww shit.” I clicked on it and saw a “VERY HOTTTTT” user rating. Again, “Aaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwww shit.” I listen to the song and I hear this motherfucker talkin’ about “I’M BLACK AS THE HEART OF A FUCKIN’ ARIAN!” I remember being so fucking happy. I remember screaming “IT’S HAPPENING.” The internet went crazy. At least, my Twitter feed did. Not only was I happy that Kendrick Lamar released an incredible single, but also that a mainstream Hip Hop artist was actually talking about racism and self hate and police brutality and shit. Then I saw the untitled performance on the Colbert Show. Then Pharrell started talking about an “unapologetically black” song called King Kunta. I was like “Is Kendrick Lamar really about to do this? Is this motherfucker about to release a whole album about… About US?” Fast forward to the album’s release. The fact that Interscope fucked up the release just made things more exciting. I remember going on Twitter and seeing something along the lines of “To Pimp A Butterfly Early Release,” and being like… “No… No… This… Is this really happening?” I go on HotNewHipHop and see comments sayin’ shit like “TPAB LEAKED!!!!” I was like “OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH.” Then I saw it. The tweet from Top Dawg. “I WOULD LIKE 2 PERSONALLY THANK @Interscope FOR FUCKING UP OUR RELEASE… SOMEBODY GOTS 2 PAY 4 THIS MISTAKE !!!! #TOP” I was like “NOOOO.” I went to KanyeToThe to see if anyone was talking about it. There were like 7 different threads about it and each one was going crazy with like 5 posts every second. The album release became an online event for random people around the world, including myself. I was so happy. I felt like I was at a fucking party, even though it was just a Hip Hop fan sitting alone in his room at 1:00 AM. Top Dawg eventually decided to release the explicit version, and the rest is history. I listened to the album, and I instantly fell in love. To Pimp A Butterfly is easily one of the greatest pieces of art I’ve ever had the pleasure of being a part of. That Complexion song tho? Fucking perfect. As a racially ambiguous lightskinneded boy, I used to be pretty insecure about my race & skin color. I feel like Complexion was made about me. Has that ever happened to you? Have you ever enjoyed a piece of art that hits home so much and is so relevant and so accurate that you feel like it represents this feeling that you’ve had, but you didn’t know how to articulate? That’s what this shit did for me. I fucking love this album. Kendrick Lamar. To Pimp A Butterfly. Album of the year. Easy.
Worst Album Of The Year:
Winner: Troy Ave
Runner up: Big Sean
This is bad. I shouldn’t have to nominate an MC like Tech N9ne for this category. Nobody is denying that Tech N9ne can rap his motherfucking ass off. Strangeulation II was not a good album tho. I don’t really see how anyone could argue with that. Yeah, he had a nice flow, but that’s honestly it for this one. Don’t try to rush out two albums in one year if they aren’t your best work. This is the first wack Tech N9ne album I’ve ever heard. Seriously. I don’t think it’s fair to say that he’s fallen off because this is just a bump in the road, but goddamn. That’s a big ass pothole. I should be getting He’s A Mental Giant, Fear, and Fragile from Tech N9ne. Not Tell Me If I’m Trippin’, Real With Yourself, and fuckin’ Chilly Rub. Of all the Tech N9ne albums that I’ve listened to so far, Stangeulation I is my favorite, and Strangeulation II is my least favorite. That was not a good sequel. That shit should’ve been a mixtape. It did not sound like an album at all. He even made the cyphers disappointing. He fucked up. Strangeulation III better not be like this bullshit right here. I don’t want to have to listen to some more shit like that. It was not good at all. Next up is Lil Durk. I don’t think anyone was really expecting this to be good. I like Drill music, but I could not stand this album. I really don’t understand why this motherfucker thought that it was a good idea to use autotune on EVERY FUCKING SONG minus the intro. Goddamn. Don’t sing. If you need autotune to sing, then DON’T SING. YOU ARE A RAPPER. RAAAAAAAPPPPPPP! Why the fuck is that so hard? When did it become so hard for rappers to rap? This is where Hip Hop is in 2015? I really have to tell a rapper to rap? REALLY? FUCK. Rappers don’t rap anymore? Is that it? Is that what y’all are trying to tell me? Fuck you. FUCK. You. Seriously. I will never understand shit like this. If you’re going to use autotune on every song, at least make it so that the production and the melodies sound different. Damn near every song on the album sounded the same. It was just bad music. Bad Drill music. Lil Durk is supposed to be one of the best Drill artists right? So why the fuck does he sound like every other Drill artist ever? Fuck it. I’m done with that fuckin’ album, man. Next is Pilot Talk III. This was me listening to this album…
Seriously, that was one of the hardest days of my life. I was so fucking bored that I thought I was gonna die. I don’t know how the fuck anyone could enjoy his music. All the Jet Life fans about to be comin’ at me with “You must not smoke weed. People who don’t smoke weed aren’t smart or cool, so you should probably just kill yourself.” All I’m gonna say is this: If I have to be under the influence of an illegal drug just to stay awake during your album, you probably aren’t a very good musician. Okay, moving on. The runner up is Big Sean. Big Sean is just a terrible rapper. There’s really not much else to say. His voice is annoying as fuck and the shit he says is absolutely corny as fuck. And he was trying to sing on this project too. Again, YOU ARE A RAPPER! I DON’T CARE HOW FUCKIN’ SHITTY YOUR BARS ARE. YOU DO. NOT. SING. FUUUCK, MAN. He cannot rap. He just can’t. I mean, I don’t know what else to say. The shit he says isn’t good. It’s bad. I mean, I think he’s gotta decent ear for beats, but that doesn’t fix his horrible rapping. I hate his flow, and his voice, and his lame bars. He’s just bad. The album… is bad. If somebody could send me the acapella for Blessings tho, I would really appreciate that. I’m tryna make a remix with the instrumental of 514 by Mick Jenkins and the acapella of Blessings. Or if you could send me the acapella of 514 that would be dope too. Okay, last and least is Troy Ave. He really shouldn’t be here. He shouldn’t even be nominated. You know why? He isn’t trash. Troy Ave is not a bad rapper. He really isn’t. He definitely isn’t a good rapper, but he really isn’t trash. He is average. That’s why I don’t understand how he made such a shitty album. I know he can do better than this. He has mixtapes that are much better than this. Major Without A Deal… He got way too ahead of himself. He needs to sit the fuck down. The only way he can recover from an album like that is if he takes his own balls out of his mouth and starts focusing on making some really dope music. Troy, stop talking about your money and your fame. We can tell that it isn’t as big as you keep saying it is. You know what the problem is? Troy Ave is a decent rapper, but he has nothing to say. Nobody wants to hear about the money and bitches. That’s not interesting. Nobody wants to hear an average rapper talk about money and bitches. We don’t need Troy Ave for that. He needs to find something interesting to rap about. I can guarantee that if he does that his next project will be much better. This shit was fuckin’ terrible tho. It’s not even just him tho. The production was wack af too. I’m done here. I don’t need to be talkin’ about this shit anymore. It’s wack af. Major Without A Deal was the worst album that I heard this year.
Mixtape Of The Year:
Winner: Cyhi The Prynce
Runner up: Big K.R.I.T.
I really dropped the ball on mixtape reviews this year. I really only listened to two good mixtapes. I listened to so few mixtapes that I had to nominate a project that technically came out in 2014. Although, to be fair, it came out on the last day of 2014. But still tho. I know for a fact that there were a lot better mixtapes than all of the nominees here. This is really just out of all of the tapes I heard this year. So there ya go. Take it with a grain of salt when I tell you that Cyhi The Prynce had the mixtape of the year. I didn’t even listen to any mixtapes that I could consider “dope af.” None of these mixtapes are that great. In all honesty, I probably just shouldn’t even do this category. I will tho… Hopefully it’ll be better next year. Or this year. I guess. So, last place obviously goes to Nipsey Hussle. I’m not even really into Nipsey Hussle. The mixtape wasn’t that damn good. Haha. I don’t even really like these tapes haha. Yeah, maybe I shouldn’t do this. You know what? Just forget this category existed. None of these tapes are that good. I mean, I enjoyed them, but I don’t really go back and listen to them that much at all. They were good. Not great. That’s all I can really say about them to be honest. I’m gonna have to do better in 2016… Well, congratulations Cyhi. Out of all the mixtapes I heard, you were the best. That’s not really sayin’ much, but still.
Worst Mixtape Of The Year:
Winner: Puff Daddy & The Family
Runner Up: Young Thug
As you can see from the more extensive list of nominees, most of the mixtapes I listened to this year were pretty bad. That fact that Young Thug did not win this is just sad. Even sadder is the fact that Cal Chuchesta didn’t win. First up is Young Scooter with Jug Season. I fuck with Trap Music, but I just cannot get into Young Scooter. He does not make good Trap Music to me. I don’t think he’s terrible, but he really isn’t that good. I like songs like Cocaina Mota & Count Up, but other than that most of his shit is pretty generic. His hooks are weak, the production he raps over is underwhelming, and his flow is basic af. He’s just not that good, so, as anyone could’ve guessed, his tape ended up not being that good. I did enjoy some of the music on there tho. It’s not terrible. Just generic. There’s much better Trap Music out there. Next up is Drake & Future. Honestly, I didn’t expect What A Time To Be Alive to be as bad as it actually was. I don’t like Drake or Future, but I still think they’re capable of making entertaining music. They really didn’t do that tho. It really didn’t even feel like they were trying, with the exception of the solo Drake track. That song was actually dope af. I like that one. Everything else about this shit just felt rushed as fuck tho. I thought Jumpman was a pretty mediocre track when I reviewed it, but I hear that song every fucking where I go now. It’s so annoying. It’s really not that good of a song. If anyone other than Drake & Future put that bullshit out, everyone would agree that it’s wack. People love to dick ride Drake & Future tho. There’s a flash flood warning at my house right now. That’s cool I guess. Next up is Cal Chuchesta. Again, the fact that this shit didn’t win really says a lot about the quality of mixtapes I reviewed this year. That’s pretty much all I’m gonna say for that one. The runner up is Young Thug. I didn’t think I could possibly hear anything worse than this shit when it first dropped. The weird thing is, I still go back to some of the songs that I liked from time to time. Young Thug is absolutely terrible, but on the rare occasion that he actually makes a decent song, I usually end up really enjoying it. Honestly, I’d take Young Thug over Future any day. To me, Young Thug’s best song is way better than Future’s best song. This tape was wack af tho. Do I really need to tell y’all why? We all know that Young Thug is wack af. I think you can figure out how this tape ended up being bad yourself. The winner tho. Puff motherfuckin’ Daddy. Why does this mixtape exist? Seriously, who the fuck wanted to hear some shit from Puff Daddy in 2015? We all know the motherfucker is good on production. We don’t need him rapping tho. He is seriously just a terrible rapper. The production was cool for the most part. The features ranged from good (Pusha T, Jadakiss, King Los) to absolutely fucking terrible (French Montana). Unless I hear a fucking incredible single from him, there’s no way I’m checkin’ out Puff Daddy’s upcoming album. He just isn’t a good rapper. I don’t know what else to say. It’s just a collection of bad music. It’s wack. So he wins. Congratulations, Puffy. You had the worst mixtape of 2015. Pusha T killed his feature tho. I liked that shit.
Best Extended Play:
Winner: Mick Jenkins
Runner Up: Freddie Gibbs
I didn’t listen to that many EPs, but I still did more than mixtapes this year. I heard a lot of dope shit & a lot of wack shit, so these categories should be a lot more substantial. Let’s start with Aesop Rock. This was actually the first full project I’ve heard from him. I’d heard him on features and loose songs before, and I knew he was dope af. I feel like the Cat Food EP was probably a really bad place to jump into his music, but it was still dope af. It was only two tracks, so if you don’t have a lot of time, but you still feel like listening to some dope ass new music, you should definitely check it out. He’s just a great MC. He uses words that I’ve never heard before in my life. The lyrics are definitely the main course of this project, but the production is dope too. The hooks aren’t bad either. It’s just two great songs. It also comes with the instrumentals for both songs. Fans should definitely check it out. Everyone should check it out really. It’s great. The runner up is Freddie Gibbs with Pronto. This three track EP was a great teaser for what his album ended up being. The dark production was fantastic, and Freddie was rappin’ his ass off. It’s gangsta as fuck. It’s not the same as Piñata since it doesn’t have the old school Madlib production, but it’s still great. Pronto is definitely one of my favorite songs this year. I listen to that shit all the time. I don’t know what to say. It’s just three great tracks of Freddie Gibbs spittin’ with a great flow over some dark production. It’s gangsta as fuck. It was kinda hard for me to decide whether I liked Wave[s] or Pronto more. I chose Wave[s] since it has more actual music. Pronto is just as dope tho. They both got the same score. Wave[s] is three times as much music as Pronto, which is why it won. It almost feels like a complete project. Almost. I also chose it because I liked my favorite tracks from Wave[s] more than I liked my favorite tracks from Pronto. They were both dope af tho. Congratulations to Mick Jenkins. Wave[s] was my favorite EP this year.
Worst Extended Play:
Winner: Trinidad James
Runner Up: Jeezy
Alright. This is gonna be rough. I think. First up is Johnny May Cash. Pretty much everything I said about Lil Durk’s album Remember My Name applies to Johnny May Cash. If I’m remembering correctly, he uses autotune on every fucking track. EVERY TRACK. Again, DO NOT! USE! AUTOTUNE! ON EVERY SONG! And what the fuck was that posse cut he had with like 1000 random ass Drill motherfuckers? It featured Young Chop, Y.B., Lil Dave & Zae. They ALL had autotune. I swear to God, by the time the song was over I could’ve sworn it was a solo track. They all sounded exactly the same because all of their voices were drenched in autotune. You just don’t do that. There’s absolutely no point in having features if they’re just gonna do exactly what you did. The only reason All Day was such a good song was because of Lil Herb, who didn’t use autotune nearly as much. The whole project was wack, man. Alright, next up is Politically Correct. I was surprised that Jeezy put out such a bad project. I don’t really love Jeezy, but I think he’s pretty good. I certainly didn’t think he was capable of putting out a project this bad. Every single song on this project was wack. There was seriously not one decent song. I don’t know what happened. In fact, Politically Correct left such a bad taste in my mouth that it prevented me from listening to his album that came out in November. I’m probably gonna review it soon. It’s been sitting in my iTunes library ever since it came out and I still haven’t listened to it because I just don’t want to. Politically Correct was that bad. It was wack. The winner is definitely Trinidad James tho. Trinidad James released the worst project that I have ever heard this year. Not the worst project I’ve ever reviewed. No, he released the worst project that I’ve ever heard in my life. How does that happen? It was only four tracks long. I don’t know what he was doing on TTT Freestyle or what the fuck he thought he was talking about on that last Spoken Word track. That’s right. The last track is Spoken Word. Spoken Word from Trinidad James. Not the poetic kind. It’s some kinda speech about the power of pussy or some bullshit like that. I don’t know what the fuck he was thinking. It got a 20%. He got the very first “Wack AF” rating on this website. Hopefully it’ll remain the worst project I’ve ever heard because I don’t know how it could get any worse than that. That shit was absolutely wack af. Dog shit. Congratulations, Trinidad James. You have the worst EP of the year. Not even the worst EP of the year, the worst overall project of the year. It was horrible.
Most Entertaining Beef:
Winner: Horseshoe Gang Vs. Funk Volume
Runner Up: Action Bronson Vs. Ghostface Killah
You’re probably wondering “How the fuck was Meek Mill Vs. Drake not even the runner up?” I’ll tell you. At first, it was. I was gonna have Meek Mill Vs. Drake as the runner up. But then I thought about what actually happened. I don’t like Meek Mill. I don’t like Drake. I like how there was music released as a result of this beef. What I don’t like is how far Drake’s stans went to make Meek Mill’s life miserable. It’s okay to like Drake. Being a fan of Drake shouldn’t automatically make you hate Meek Mill. If you hate Meek Mill because he was honest, and exposed some real bullshit that was going on in the industry, then you’re a Drake dickrider. There’s really no argument. If you hate a man because he said some shit about Drake, then you’re a Drake dickrider. I’ve always hated Drake dickriders, but they took it to another level when they called the judge during Meek Mill’s trial and begged him to send Meek to jail. That is the most dick ridingest shit I have ever seen in my life. Drake fans oughta be ashamed of theyselves after some bullshit like that. That’s disgusting. At the end of the day, Meek Mill’s fuckin’ Nicki Minaj, so if you ask me he’s still on top. That’s just me tho. Okay, the runner up is Action Bronson Vs. Ghostface Killah. I understand that it may have been disappointing to some people since there wasn’t any actual music released, but I would be shocked if it doesn’t at least get referenced in either of the rapper’s upcoming music. That video that Ghostface released was fucking incredible. This motherfucker went OFF on Action Bronson. He went off and he wasn’t even rapping. Nah. This motherfucker was talking directly to Action Bronson. “Boy you done made a mistake boy. You done fucked up, man.” What else can I say? That video is one of the greatest things I’ve experienced all year. That was great. Hahahahahaha. Anyway, the winner was easily Horseshoe Gang Vs. Funk Volume. We got three new songs and they were all dope. Two of them were dope af. Funk Volume easily had the best diss track tho. That shit was fucking incredible. I was honestly disappointed that the beef ended so quickly. They should’ve released even more music. Horseshoe Gang hurt theyselves when they last track wasn’t as strong. It was still dope, but Funk Volume really could’ve finished them off if they came back with one more song that was dope af. They should’ve brought SwizZz’s ass out too. They just stopped tho. I don’t know why. They also said that they were doing it for half a million dollars. What happened with that? Did either of them get payed? Who decides the winner? The end of the beef was kinda disappointing, but it was still the most entertaining beef out of all of these. So there ya go. Hopefully there are even more entertaining beefs in 2016. And hopefully the dickriders don’t go crazy tryna end somebody’s career.
Most Ls Taken:
Runner Up: Tyga
Alright, this one should be interesting. I’m finna start out with Troy Ave. Really, his only L was releasing a wack ass album called MAJOR Without A Deal and selling 4,373 copies. That’s why he didn’t take the most Ls tho. I mean, yeah he only sold 30 physical albums, but I can’t really talk shit. It’s 2015. Pretty much nobody pays for albums anymore. That’s still pretty bad tho. I mean, Adele sold like 3 million albums. Although, to be fair, it’s fuckin’ Adele Vs. Troy Ave, so it’s to be expected that he would lose in that comparison. So that’s why he took the least Ls out of all of these rappers. Next up is Meek Mill. Honestly, he probably took the most Ls, but to me he came out on top since he’s still fuckin’ Nicki Minaj. I mean, I would take all the possible Ls in the universe to be in that position, so good for him. He still REALLY fucked up tho. He should know that in mainstream Hip Hop it doesn’t pay to be real. You can’t expose motherfuckers in mainstream Hip Hop. The only way Drake’s dickriders would’ve turned on him is if he was molestin’ some children or something. I still feel like he would have a good number of apologists in that situation tho. I guess the only L Meek really took was… Well, I won’t even say exposing Drake. I just think the way he handled the beef was how he fucked up. If he actually released a really fuckin’ dope diss track he would’ve had a slight possibility of beatin’ Drake. That’s the opposite of what happened tho. His biggest mistake was goin’ at Drake and not having any music to back it up. Drake recorded AND released TWO diss tracks within a span of like 5 days. To be fair, neither of them were THAT good, but they were definitely better than the shit Meek released. He was on tour tho, so he didn’t really have access to a good recording studio, or time to write good shit. It’s a complicated situation. The runner up was Tyga. I’m gonna be honest, I’m still surprised that people clown Meek Mill more than they do Tyga. Did I miss something that Meek did? Seriously, just look at all the bullshit Tyga’s been involved in. For God’s sake, Tyga was beefin’ with Drake himself, and Meek Mill is way ahead of him in terms of musical quality. Let’s start at the beginning. I don’t know which came first honestly. I think the first thing people noticed was that he was hangin’ out with Kylie Jenner. At first, people were like “that’s kinda weird.” It definitely got weirder and weirder tho. When he got asked about it on Breakfast Club he threw black people under the bus. That’s what fucked me up. He was like “Nah, man. I ain’t fuckin’ her. It’s Black Culture man. It’s Black Culture TV, man. It’s that lil’ motherfucker OG Nick Marsh. That little mixed nigga. The Indian lookin’ nigga.” I was like “Damn, Tyga.” Just kidding, that ain’t happen. He did say this tho: “Black culture is different because you know like you hang around somebody you smashin’ ’em. But white people, white culture is different, you know what I mean? Like, they really ummm are friends.” I was like “is this motherfucker serious?” Black people don’t have friends? We don’t have friends in our culture? The fuck is this motherfucker talkin’ ’bout? Then he started talkin’ ’bout “if I decide in the future that I wanna be with Kylie…” I was like “Okay, well there you have it. He’s fuckin’ her behind the scenes at the moment, then once she turns 18 he’s gonna release the tape.” That isn’t quite how it went down, but it’s pretty close. Then the album came out. I was goin’ easy on Troy Ave, but goddamn, Tyga. Seriously. This motherfucker’s album was executively produced by KANYE WEST. The Gold Album: 18th Dynasty sold about 2,200 copies. Yup. I guess the shit I said about Troy could be said for Tyga too, but goddamn. Tyga’s a bigger artist than Troy Ave. Shit, KANYE is a bigger artist than Troy. He did explain it tho. It was only available to stream on Spotify at first. One album sale = 1,500 song streams on Spotify. So there’s that. That Kylie Jenner shit tho? Nasty. I don’t even know why he would get into that. Then Kylie Jenner broke up with HIS ass. Apparently… Well, I don’t know if this is true to be honest. It might just be a rumor, but I think I read somewhere that Kylie broke up with Tyga after she saw him textin’ a 14 year old. I don’t know what that was about. All I know is that Tyga seems to be on his Jared Fogle shit these days. And he got destroyed by Drake in that 6 PM In New York track. It’s not cool to listen to Tyga. I never really understood why people hated his music so much. He’s really not that bad of a rapper. He’s definitely not good, but he isn’t that bad. I’d say he’s on par with Troy Ave & Meek Mill to be honest. It’s just very generic. Not overly terrible. Definitely not good tho. I feel like I’m missing something. He got caught fuckin’ with a transexual woman, but that’s not really a problem unless your homophobic to an extent. I didn’t really care about that shit. Most people don’t seem to really care about that anyway, which is kinda surprising to be honest. He still didn’t catch as many Ls as this next motherfucker tho. The crazy thing is, this guy kinda won in a way because nobody knew who the fuck he was until this year. I remember lookin’ at Twitter one day before I went to school and seein’ a tweet from DJ Akademics. This motherfucker was talkin’ about “TYGA IS A PUSSY NIGGA! I WAS FUCKIN’ ON KYLIE JENNER BEFORE YOU TYGA. I HIT IT FIRST TYGA.” He must’ve not thought that shit through because he pretty much admitted to being a pedophile. I don’t know why he thought that made him better than Tyga. I don’t know why the fuck he thought that was something worth braggin’ about. He even released photos of fake messages between him and Kylie Jenner. Then some photos of REAL messages between him and his homie got released. Basically, his friend was like “Dog, what the fuck is you doin’? You know goddamn well you ain’t fucked that little ass girl.” Stitches responded by saying “Any publicity is good publicity.” That should’ve been the end of his career honestly. But then his dumb ass had the audacity to start goin’ at a REAL gangsta. This motherfucker outta nowhere just started beefin’ with The Game and callin’ him a “pussy nigga” for seemingly no reason. He challenged The Game to a fight. At first The Game didn’t really say much, but then Stitches annoyin’ ass released MORE fake messages. This time they were between him and The Game. Basically, the messages made The Game seem like a scared bitch. That’s when The Game started responding. He was like “Is this N word-using cracker for real?” They pretty much just exchanged words on Instagram for the next few months. Then Stitches decided to roll up to The Game’s location and lurk for a few hours. The Game was inside a club celebrating his album release like a real one. Stitches was just sitting outside in his car for a few hours like a loser. Like, on some real shit, what the fuck did this motherfucker think he was doin’? Seriously, why didn’t he just… What the fuck? He was waiting outside in his car doing NOTHING. This motherfucker was living in a fuckin’ fairy tale, pretending he had a legitimate beef with The Game. I guess he was waiting for The Game to leave the club so he could fight him. He eventually got tired of waiting, so he recorded an Instagram video of himself spitting on The Game’s whip. I was like “hell nah.” I knew this shit wasn’t gonna end well for Stitches. We all knew. A few hours later, I look on Twitter and see DJ Akademics talkin’ about how “STITCHES GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT.” Apparently, Stitches got knocked the fuck out by The Game’s BODYGUARD. That’s right. The Game didn’t even have to approach this cracker, and he still got his ass whipped like a BITCH. Of course The Game clowned the fuck out of him after that. He got his lip BUSTED like a motherfucker. He had to get real stitches. Okay, I don’t know if he actually had to get real stitches, but that’s what The Game had said. AND he got arrested right after gettin’ knocked out too. I think he got bailed out tho. BUT, the next day he got jumped by his OWN HOMIES. I couldn’t believe it. That’s not even the end of it. He tried to have a celebrity boxing match with The Game. Is that a thing? What the fuck is a celebrity boxing match? Fuck it; it doesn’t matter. The Game was like “Sure.” A few days later, Stitches said “At the end of the day, dog, both of us are acting like children right now to be honest.” That’s right. That’s how the beef ended. He realized that the shit he was doin’ was a bad idea, so he pussied the fuck out. I think the boxing match is still gonna happen, but I don’t know for sure. I don’t know all the details. All I know is that Stitches made himself look like a BITCH. You may have noticed that I was a little sympathetic towards all the other rappers on this list. Not Stitches tho. I don’t have sympathy for crazy ass white people that use the N word. So there it is. Stitches took the most Ls this year. Honestly, the only way he could bounce back from some shit like that would be if he joined the KKK. Hahahaha. Nah, I’m just playin’.
Worst One Hit Wonder:
Silentó (Watch Me)
O.T. Genasis (CoCo)
Post Malone (White Iverson)
Runner up: Post Malone
Okay, first up is O.T. Genasis. I was introduced to this song by Cal Chuchesta. I still haven’t heard the complete song, and I refuse to change that. O.T. Genasis is signed to Busta Rhymes’ label, Conglomerate Records. His most popular song, CoCo is just him using the same rhyme scheme with a boring flow over an underwhelming beat for about 4 minutes. That’s pretty much it. It’s just a wack song that got popular because of it’s ridiculous lyrics and hook. The beat on Cal Chuchesta’s remix is actually superior to that of the original. That’s really all I have to say about it. It’s just a bad song. The runner up is Post Malone. I don’t give a fuck how catchy the melody of this song is. It’s not good. You can’t be braggin’ the way he is over a soft ass beat like that. You can’t be singin’ like a bitch and claim to be “saucin’” on me. What the fuck does that even mean? I could tolerate this song if it weren’t for the fuckin’ STUPID lyrics. White Iverson has possibly the softest beat I’ve ever heard in my life. It’s probably second behind Charged Up. Well, it has one of the softest beats I’ve heard outside of a Drake song. I technically shouldn’t even be talking about this song since it really isn’t Hip Hop. He looks like a hippie version of Riff Raff. “Saucin’, saucin’, I’m saucin’ on you / I’m swaggin’, I’m swaggin’, I’m swaggin’ oh ooh / I’m ballin’, I’m ballin’, Iverson on you / Watch out, watch out, watch out, yeah / That’s my shot, that’s my shot, that’s my shot, yeah / Spendin’, I’m spendin’ all my fuckin’ pay.” These lyrics are fucking atrocious. I’m done with this fucking song man. It’s still not as bad as the next song. I mean, at least the melody for White Iverson was catchy as fuck. This next shit is just… FUCK. Silentó. This is one of the worst songs I’ve ever heard in my life. I would rather listen to Trips To Trinidad by Trinidad James 100 times in a row than listen to Watch Me by Silentó. Actually… 100 times is a bit much. You know what I’m tryin’ to say tho. Watch Me is fucking horrible. I don’t even know how the fuck this song blew up anyway. I mean, I hate all songs that are about dumb ass dance moves. I don’t care what you say; the whip & nae nae were lame even before white people became obsessed with them. They were never cool. This song was for both of them. In fact, it was for like a thousand different dumb ass dance moves. The beat isn’t good. The hook isn’t even catchy. I have no idea how the fuck this song got so popular. This is part of why I hate Vine. It’s just filled with short videos of lame ass people trying too hard to be funny. That’s bad enough, but when you add these lame ass trends into the situation, it becomes ten times worse. I hate trends, so that’s why the fuck this song is so bad to me. Trend followers love this song. The worst part is right at the beginning tho. “YOU ALREADY KNOW WHO IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!” What…? No we fucking don’t. Seriously, who the fuck is this kid?
What is he, like 12? He has the most annoying voice I have ever heard in my life. “YOU ALREADY KNOW WHO IT IS!” SHUT THE FUCK UP. Goddamn. This is the most annoying shit I’ve heard in a long ass time. I hate this fucking song. Shut up. Just SHUT. THE FUCK. UP. SHUT THE FUCK UP. SHUT UP. SHUT THE FUCK. UP. God. DAMNit. I hate this fucking song. Jesus Christ. At least the comments for it on Rap Genius are funny. “hip hop is back” That comment seriously made me laugh. There’s more than one comment defending the song where the author uses the word “peeps.” Is that something people say? Is that what these dumb ass kids are callin’ each other these days? FUCK. FUUUCK. I hate this fuckin’ song. Damn. Silentó just… FUCK. Seriously, this kid annoys the fuck outta me. How old is this kid for real? Lemme look this shit up. …What the fuck?? Is you fuckin’ serious? This guy is older than me by 9 months? HAHAHAHAHA. Wow. Poor guy.
Most Disappointing Project of 2015:
Winner: King Los
Runner up: A$AP Rocky
Tyler The Creator probably would’ve won this one if I still cared about him. I remember really liking a lot of his early singles, and Wolf was pretty good, but by the time Cherry Bomb released I was pretty apathetic towards him as a rapper. You know what the fucked up thing is tho? I probably would’ve liked the album if it was mixed properly. Who the fuck told this asshole that it was okay to have people pay for this shit? Seriously, your fans want good music from you that they can listen to properly. So, why the fuck does it sound like it was recorded with a Motorola Razr? Seriously, the mixing on this album is GOD AWFUL. It really ruined the whole album. There were a few songs that weren’t as bad, but for the most part it just sounded like dog shit. I couldn’t even hear what the fuck he was saying half the time. That’s not okay. I don’t know what the hell he was thinking. The runner up is A$AP Rocky. Y’all are probably thinking “what the fuck, OG? A.L.L.A. was a good album.” I liked the album. I loved Long.Live.A$AP. I thought that album was great when I heard it. I loved the promotional single Multiply. I was excited for the album. At.Long.Last.A$AP just wasn’t that good to me tho. I liked most of the songs, but there were few tracks that I really loved. This Joe Fox guy isn’t terrible, but he really didn’t do much for me. It also featured one of the worst Kanye West verses I have ever heard in my life. That shit was terrible. JD should’ve been longer. Dreams should’ve been longer. The hook on Max B ruined the momentum for me. I feel like that could’ve been mixed in better. If those problems were solved, those tracks would’ve been fucking great to me. I wanted more tracks like that. Not fuckin’ LSD. Not fuckin’ Fine Whine. What the fuck was that shit? It’s not really one specific problem that I had with the whole album. It’s just that most of the songs had at least one problem that brought down my enjoyment of the overall project. That’s just me tho. King Los was definitely the most disappointing for me. You know what the fucked up thing is? The disappointment doesn’t even hit you until about halfway through the album. The first 6 tracks of the album would’ve made a fantastic EP. After that, shit goes downhill fast. Can’t Fade Us? No. Glory To The Lord? No sir. Blame It On The Money? Absofuckinloutely not. That song was actually considered for the Worst Song Of 2015 category. This shit… I don’t know how he fucked it up. He was doing so well until Glory To The Lord hit. It makes sense that he talks about money on the album, but I didn’t think he was just gonna start glorifying it so much. Seriously. This album started off fucking incredible. He fucked it up tho. Listen to Lil Black Boy & God, Money, War. Then listen to Blame It On The Money & Can’t Fade Us. Do those sound like they should be on the same album? They are. It should’ve been a 6 track EP. If the rest of the fourteen tracks were as good as the first 6 songs, then that would’ve easily been one of the best albums released this year. For real, I love those first 6 tracks. That was easily the most disappointing shit I heard all year.
Anticipated Albums of 2016:
Lastly, I’d just like to talk about the albums that I’m looking forward to listening to in 2016. I don’t know how much I’m gonna like this one, but I’m definitely interested in hearing Always Strive & Prosper by A$AP Ferg. Also, that joint project between J. Cole & Kendrick Lamar that’s supposed to be dropping in February. I’m looking forward to anything comin’ outta TDE. I know Isaiah Rashad turned his next project in, and I think ScHoolboy Q finished his album too. I hope Soulo drops something. Another project from Earl would be dope, but I’m not gonna get my hopes up. Definitely looking forward to Run The Jewels 3. I still gotta review the first one and redo my shitty review of the second one. I think Busta Rhymes is finally gonna be dropping Extinction Level Event 2. I’m cautiously optimistic about that one. Gambino might drop something. Anything from Joey Bada$$. B4.Da.$$ was dope. I gotta redo my review of that album too tho. That review was wack. I really hope The CunninLynguists drop something. It’s been a minute since they dropped something. I know Sadistik & Kno had a joint project this year. I should check that out. A new Danny Brown album would be great. I’m interested in David Banner’s upcoming album, The God Box. I don’t really like Drake, but I think he’s capable of making entertaining music, so I’m curious about Views From The 6, especially after hearin’ that 30 For 30 track. A Flatbush Zombies project would be dope. This isn’t Hip Hop, but I need that new Frank Ocean album to drop already. I don’t know where the fuck he’s been at. Obviously I’m curious about that SWISH album from Kanye. Hopefully he changes the title again because So Help Me God was a much better name. Lupe Fiasco recently said that he’s planning on releasing THREE albums in 2016. That should be good. Hopefully Mick Jenkins actually gets a full album out. Hopefully that sequel to PRhyme comes out. Again, I gotta redo the review to PRhyme. Definitely lookin’ forward to the full King Push album. Far From Familiar from Sylvan LaCue—formerly known as QuESt—should be dope. Tory Lanez might finally get a full album out. Hopefully he doesn’t fuck that up. Hopefully there are more beefs that result in dope music. A few days after Mac Miller dropped GO:OD AM, he asked his fans on Twitter who they would want Larry Fisherman to produce a project for. The most popular vote went to Ab-Soul. If that happens that’ll be great. A collab album between Lupe & Soulo would be great too. I’m not gonna get my hopes up tho. I’m interested in anything Larry Fisherman does. Vince Staples might release something too. That’s pretty much it for albums I’m really looking forward to. So yeah. I guess that’s it. Happy new year everyone. Thanks for reading I guess. I appreciate all the support I’ve been getting. Keep coming back because Black Culture TV definitely won’t be going anywhere anytime soon.
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