I know that this isn’t technically an actual song, but I after I saw how much attention it was getting I decided that I needed to talk about it on this website. I already kinda gave my thoughts about this track on Snapchat, but I didn’t really explain myself very well. I’m just gonna get this outta the way real quick; this year’s XXL Freshman Cover is fucking awful. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that a backpacker like me doesn’t think it’s a good cover tho. I understand why they put who they put on it. I just think that more than half of the people on it are trash. However, as far as I know the XXL Freshman Cover has never been about highlighting good, up-and-coming MCs. It’s about highlighting the hottest rappers. By “hottest” I mean the most popular.
There are only FOUR artists on here whose music I actually kinda fuck with it. Desiigner isn’t one of them. I think Dave East, Denzel Curry, G Herbo & Anderson .Paak are all dope. Well, Lil Herb is actually hit-or-miss with me. The rest? TRASH, but not irrelevant. Lil Uzi Vert dropped one of the worst mixtapes I’ve ever heard this year, but he definitely deserved to be on the cover. Not because he’s good, but because he’s popular right now. Anderson .Paak is probably the best choice for this cover. Ever since he first blew up from that Dr. Dre album, he’s been everywhere. He’s even got a feature on the upcoming ScHoolboy Q album, which is ONE of my most anticipated projects to come out this year. It makes sense for him to be here. I even understand why Lil Dicky’s goofy ass is here. Again, is he a good rapper? Fuck no. But he deserves the spot. Desiigner literally has two songs, and one of them is the number one song in the country. He’s everywhere because of a single track. It’s obvious why he’s on this cover. That brings me to the main portion of this review. Every year the XXL Freshmen are asked to spit a “freestyle.” I don’t think all of them have been posted yet. This is the only one I’ve seen so far. It’s fucking horrible tho.
I seriously could not believe how fucking bad it was when I heard it the first time. I don’t even fucking know how to talk about this one. I’ll just break this shit down from the beginning. First line: “Timmy Timmy Timmy Turner.” Timmy Turner. For those of you who don’t know, Timmy Turner is the protagonist of a popular cartoon show called The Fairly OddParents, which aired on Nickelodeon. I never really liked Nickelodeon. I always thought Spongebob was a little overrated. I thought The Fairly OddParents was boring as shit. I thought a lot of TV was boring when I was little tho. The only channel I really enjoyed watching was Adult Swim. Cartoon Network was dope in the late 90s & early 2000s tho. They had Ed, Edd & Eddy, The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, Johnny Bravo AND Courage The Cowardly Dog. The Class of 3000 was alright, but the fucking intro where that white girl was singing “LONDON BRIDGE IS FALLING DOWN” was so fucking annoying. So yeah. I didn’t really fuck with Nickelodeon like that. Jimmy Neutron was my shit tho. Anyway, the whole idea behind The Fairly OddParents is that Timmy can wish for whatever he wants. I think that’s what it was about. I don’t really remember. Desiigner keeps the Fairly OddParents reference going with the next few lines. “He be wishin’ for a burner / To kill everybody walkin’ / You know that his soul in the furnace.” So, basically Timmy Turner just wished for a gun to murder a bunch of people, and then he went to hell. After that Desiigner says “Fine bitch on BET / Hottie wylin’ she fuckin’ on BET / Wylin’ for wallet.” Will somebody please tell me what the fuck this motherfucker is talkin’ about? Seriously, what the fuck? What is this shit?? Is this some kind of joke? You’re probably thinkin’ “OG Nick Marsh, calm down! Why don’t you just listen to more of the freestyle to see if he goes on to explain anything?” How fucking stupid do you think I am? You think I wouldn’t do that if I could? I already quoted every fucking bar in the freestyle. That’s it. I mean, that’s not really IT, but he doesn’t say anything else. He just repeats the same shit I just quoted over and over again until he’s finished with his 45 second long freestyle. This song literally has 7 separate lines. SEVEN. I also find it hilarious that he was snapping his fingers and singing like he was really feelin’ the shit he was saying. And then once he’s finished he looks down and quietly says “yeah” to himself as he decides that he’s embarrassed himself enough. Unfuckingbelievable. Why is Timmy Turner in this song? What the fuck is this shit? I’m fucking appalled by how bad this is. And people in the fucking comment section are acting like Desiigner’s a fucking genius. “This kid is special…from his melodies to his ability to control the listener’s energy with his own…his voice is an instrument itself…sad part is I dont think he understands his talent…Kanye will help him control his abilities. coach him” I’m sorry, but whoever posted that comment is a fucking douchebag. I gotta admit tho, I think Desiigner is approaching his sudden fame the right way. It’s kind of a double edged sword. Every time he drops some new shit, it’s super minimal like this. He gave us 7 new lines to chew on. His feature on Champions felt like an afterthought as well. People still aren’t really sure how they feel about Desiigner. Everyone’s keeping an eye on him and waiting for him to drop an actual song. He dropped a fucking garbage ass wack af freestyle on Westwood too. Aside from all that shit I just mentioned, I don’t think he’s released anything else. He does have an upcoming mixtape called New English tho. I guess we’ll see how that turns out. I know he has a song on there with Pusha T. Hopefully it’ll be entertaining. This shit right here tho? It’s fucking awful. I still can’t believe how fucking bad this is. I mean, it’s not like I was expecting it to be good at all. I’m more appalled that he only spit 7 lines than anything. It’s wack af. 1/5
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