Album Review | Tech N9ne – Everready (The Religion)

Click HERE to purchase this album.

This album was released on November 7th in 2006. Honestly, I’m so ready for this Tech N9ne Marathon to be over. Even when it’s over it won’t be over tho. I mean, even after I finish reviewing all of the albums that he’s released so far, it won’t be over because he’s still putting out music. I just wanna get through these albums as quickly as possible; however, I’ve been putting this one off for a minute now. You know why? It’s another FUCKin’ double disk album. Why, God? All together, there are THIRTY FIVE fucking songs. Settle in, fools. This is about be one LONG ass review.

Track 1: Enter Everready (B.L.E.S.T.)

This track is just Tech N9ne, Krizz Kaliko, Kutt Calhoun, and some guy named Big Nick telling a story of a car accident they all got into. The way they told it was really overdramatic. Honestly, this intro is stupid as hell. I don’t even know how to explain why… It just rubbed me the wrong way for some reason. It doesn’t matter tho. It’s not a real song.

Track 2: Riot Maker (Enjoy) Feat. Skatterman & Snug Brim [Prod. Tech N9ne, Robert Rebeck & Tyler Lyon]

I’m not feelin’ this corny ass, overdramatic voice on the intro. OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Jesus fucking Christ. This is SO BAD. HAHAHA. Wow. Of course he just HAD to open this shit up with a Nu Metal song. This is everything I dislike about Tech in one song. This beat is awful. I don’t fucking believe how bad this shit is. What the fuck am I listening to? This hook is a fucking catastrophe. The first verse is just the typical corny bullshit you should expect from Tech N9ne. His flow was of course above average, but nah. This is one of the worst songs I’ve heard from Tech, and that’s saying a lot because Tech N9ne’s music is fucking horrible. Lmao. As you can probably tell, I’m getting REALLY fuckin’ sick of Tech N9ne. This marathon was honestly a huge mistake. I used to think that Tech N9ne was one of my favorite rappers. When he’s at his best, he IS one of my favorite rappers. BUT when he’s not… THIS is what you get. This is one of the worst hooks I’ve ever heard in my fucking life. That’s obviously an exaggeration, but that’s really how I feel about this shit. Do I even need to talk about the other verses? You can already see that I can’t fucking stand this song. This was fucking torture to listen to. Seriously fuck this song, and fuck Nu Metal in general. This is fucking wack af. Absolute dogshit. 0/5

Simon

Track 3: No Can Do Feat. Krizz Kaliko (Prod. Rick Rock)

Uuuugh… Nah. More corny shit from Tech Nn9e. The intro to this song is lame as hell. Tech’s flow on the first verse is dope af. This beat is wack. I wasn’t feelin’ Tech’s delivery on the first verse. This hook is fucking horrible. I wasn’t feelin’ Krizz’s verse. The ONLY good thing about this song is Tech’s flow. And no, I did not like the final verse where they were tradin’ bars with each other. This song is fucking wack. 2/5

Track 4: Welcome To The Midwest Feat. Krizz Kaliko (Prod. Seven)

It’s really crazy how much my opinion of Tech N9ne has changed ever since I first started this marathon. When I reviewed Special Effects, I was a borderline stan. Now I can’t fucking stand this shit. Oooooh NO. This intro is fucking horrendous. WHAT THE FUCK? Why is this shit so bad? This beat is dope. Tech’s flow on the first verse is incredible. I’m not feelin’ his delivery tho. WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCK. What is this hook? KRIZZ. KALIKO. WHYYY? Why do you do this to me Krizz Kaliko? Are you trying to ruin Tech N9ne’s discography? That’s pretty much what you’ve done. I mean, it would’ve been bad enough without you, but you really just made this shit so much worse than it should’ve been. Krizz’s verse was dope, but this fucking hook is just a disaster. I don’t even… I can’t articulate how fucking bad this hook is. Tech has the strongest case of Eminem Syndrome I’ve ever encountered in my life. It’s honestly worse than Eminem himself. I guess I should explain what the fuck I’m talking about. I think I only ever explained what Eminem Syndrome was once before anyway. Eminem Syndrome is a disorder that people like Hopsin, Tech N9ne, and French Montana all suffer from. They’re all incredibly talented MCs, but, for whatever reason, they’re actual music is fucking horrible. Particularly their hooks. HAHAHA. I’m just kidding. French Montana has absolutely zero talent. Y’all thought I was serious didn’t you? GOTCHA, BITCH. Anyway, this song is fucking wack. The only reason it isn’t getting a 1 is because the beat was decent, and their flows were great. 2/5

Track 5: ‘Bout Ta Bubble (Prod. Seven)

NOOOO. This intro is so bad. This beat sounds like it was the first Hip Hop instrumental ever made. Tech’s flow was great on the first verse. Oh my… FUUUUCCK. WHY? Why is this fucking hook so bad? Dude, fuck everything, seriously. I wanna die. I haven’t been this unhappy because of music in a LONG ass time. “Drinkin’ / And smokin’ / And humpin’ / And likin’ it.” …What the fuck is wrong with this man? This is a grown ass man who raps like a fucking 13 year old. The only good thing about this song is Tech’s flow. This song is awful. I cannot stand this shit. This is wack af. 1/5

Track 6: It’s What You Thinkin’ (Prod. Seven)

Alright, I’ve listened to five tracks, and so far none of them are decent. I seriously think that this may end up being one of the worst albums I’ve ever heard. At the rate he’s going, this isn’t gonna end well. Hopefully I’m wrong. He has 30 more chances to prove me wrong… Oh yeah, I forgot that this album was released in 2006. Isn’t that remembered as one of the worst years in Hip Hop ever?  Well, there actually WERE some classic albums that came out that year… Fuck it; it doesn’t matter. This isn’t a good song. It’s not as bad as some of the other songs. Well, I can’t be so sure of that yet because I haven’t heard the hook. I already know that I don’t fuck with this song tho. I’m not feelin’ the beat, and the content isn’t very appealing to me personally. No. This hook is wack. This is another bad song. It’s far from the worst track on this album tho. Good for him. He managed to make a bad song instead of a fucking horrible one. Damn, I’m really coming off as a hater in this review. It’s justified tho. I still like a fair amount of Tech’s music. This shit right here tho? Nah. I can’t do this one. It’s wack. 2/5

Track 7: Night & Day (Prod. Seven)

I don’t like how abruptly this song starts. I know it’s because it transitions from the previous song, but it’s not like he couldn’t have just… You know… Not done that… I’m not feelin’ this beat. Oh my- WHAT THE FUCK? Are you fucking shitting me? What the motherfuck? What… WHAT is that hook? Jesus. I do not fucking believe how fucking bad this fucking bullshit is. No. I can’t fucking do this anymore. I’m done with this song. This is absolutely fucking horrible. 1/5

Track 8: Jellysickle Feat. E-40 (Prod. Rick Rock)

This album is fucking pathetic so far. I’ve seriously never heard anything this bad. I might as well be listening to fucking Insane Clown Posse. Actually never mind. It’s not quite that bad yet… I’m not feelin’ this beat. I wouldn’t call it a wack beat, but it’s really not doing anything for me personally. I’m not feelin’ the way Tech’s flowin’ on this first verse. What the fuck is a jellysickle? Did he really make up his own word? That’s so fucking lame… I don’t know why I’m acting like I’m surprised. It’s not like this is the first time he’s done this. Remember Dwamn? What about the Chilly Rub? This hook is fucking dogshit. E-40 somehow had a better flow on this shit than Tech. He killed this shit. I really enjoyed his verse. I can’t fucking take this hook. Why. Why. Why. I feel fucking sick. This is really torture. I cannot stand this song. The only reason this song isn’t getting a 1 is because E-40’s verse was dope af. 2/5

Track 9: Caribou Lou (Prod. Rune Rask & Troo.L.S.)

This beat is decent at best. The hook is fucking awful. The subject matter is lame as hell. The first verse from Tech is awful. Jesus. You know, Tech is a really technical MC, but the actual content of his lyrics is fucking terrible a lot of the time. This isn’t a good song. I can’t fuck with this song, man. It’s not as horrible as a lot of the other songs, but it’s not good at all. It’s far below average. The only good thing about it is Tech’s flow. This is wack. 2/5

Track 10: Hood Connection / Strange Commercial

Oh, thank God. Another skit. At least I don’t have to listen to another wack ass song. Oooh no. He somehow managed to sneak some fucking awful music into this skit… It’s obvious that this skit is leading into the inevitable sex songs. Fuck my life. I gotta be honest… That Strange Commercial was kinda entertaining.

Track 11: My Wife, My Bitch, My Girl (Prod. Rick Rock)

Wow. The skit rolls into this track. Why the fuck does he always do that? What if I end up liking this song? I’m not gonna wanna hear the last few seconds of the Hood Connection skit every time I wanna listen to this track. This beat is wack. This… Why is this album so fucking bad? This is one of the worst albums I’ve ever heard. This song is awful. “My bitch rolls with me / It’s so sickly / In love with me, but she give me fellatio hickeys / Would go get me in the wee hours to get me slow quickies / So sticky / Roll with my homies; she so shifty.” I can’t tolerate a single thing about this song. Even his flow isn’t even standing out that much. Yo… FUCK. This is fucking bullshit. I can’t believe there are people who think this is good. I mean, if you like it then that’s cool. I can’t fucking stand this album tho. How can you fucking defend this shit? Have you heard these fucking lyrics? LOOK AT THIS SHIT. “My girl got a nice anus / And it’s ripe, ain’t it? / Can’t really touch it durin’ the day, but in the night taint it.” This song is fucking wack af. 1/5

Track 12: Flash (Prod. Rune Rask & Troo.L.S.)

Oh. My. Fucking. Fuck. This… WHAT. WHAT THE FUCK AM I LISTENING TO. This hook is fucking horrible. He’s telling the girls at his show to flash their titties. Man… FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKK. I cannot take this shit. Everything about this song is fucking horrible. Even if the hook wasn’t bad, and the beat was above average… I don’t want to hear a fucking song about girls flashing their titties at shows. This is fucking horrible. 1/5

Track 13: Come Gangsta (Prod. Seven)

I’ve actually been looking forward to this song for a minute now. Stevie Stone’s cypher with Ces Cru from Strangeulation, Vol. II was over this beat. I already know that I like the production. I’m not a fan of this dramatic ass intro. Oh my… NOOO. NOOOOOO. Not this song too… He’s singing right now, and it’s fucking awful. It’s the same melody that Stevie Stone was singing, but at least Stevie Stone actually sounded good. This is just fucking sad. I wasn’t feelin’ the first verse. I’m DEFINITELY not feelin’ that fucking hook. This is fucking embarrassing. The second verse is awful. This is the worst possible outcome. I cannot believe it. I… I don’t like this song. It’s really really really bad. This song… It’s wack. 2/5

Track 14: The Melancholy Maze & My World Intro

HAHAHAHAHA. Oh my God. This is the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. HAHAHA. This is easily the best track on the album so far just because of how dumb it is. PLEASE look this shit up. It’s so dumb. You need to hear it. It’s hilarious.

Track 15: My World Feat. Brotha Lynch Hung & Dalima (Prod. The Legendary Traxster)

This beat is dope. I’m not feelin’ this corny ass intro. Brotha Lynch Hung is on the first verse. It was actually really dope. This hook is pretty terrible. Dalima’s verse was cool. Tech N9ne’s verse was alright. I just can’t get past that awful hook. This is easily the best song on the album so far tho. I wouldn’t ever listen to it again. I honestly still think it’s a bad song just because of that hook, but this is relatively decent. 3/5

Track 16: R.O.O.T. (Running Out Of Time) [Prod. Seven]

I seriously can’t fucking believe how bad this album is. This song isn’t good. The beat isn’t bad, and Tech’s flow was dope, but literally everything else about this song is wack. I can’t fuck with the corny lyrics. Why the fuck did he give the definition of pain at the beginning of the first verse? The hook is awful. This is just so bad. What the fuck is this shit? He’s rapping about his mother’s poor health. There’s nothing wrong with that objectively, but… The execution is just so bad… I cannot fuck with this song. This is wack to me. 2/5

Track 17: The Rain Feat. Alyia Yates & Reign Yates (Prod. Polyhedron)

OH. MY. GOD. It’s like every single track just gets worse and worse. This beat is fucking awful. How is it even possible to make a beat sound corny? This hook is fucking horrible. This is just… I can’t even… I’m running out of ways to say how bad this is. Did this fool really put his daughter on this second verse? That’s… kinda cool. It’s not something I’d wanna hear more than once. I don’t wanna hear this little girl rap. Reign, his younger daughter, just has one line. “I love you daddy.” Yeah, that’s heartwarming and everything… But this song is fucking horrible. 1/5

Track 18: Fuck ‘Em Girl Feat. Krizz Kaliko & Kutt Calhoun (Prod. Seven)

OOOoooooh NOOOOO. Krizz Kaliko… FUCK EVERYTHING. Man, fuck this album. Krizz Kaliko… YOU. CAN’T. SING. FUCKK. That intro was fucking terrible. This is a dumb ass song. HAHAHA. Wow. Kutt Calhoun really just jacked The Fresh Prince’s flow for the intro to his verse. This song is just… Well, you know. It’s not good. Nothing about this song is good. This hook is so fucking bad. I… No. This is… I can’t do this anymore. This song is fucking trash. 1/5

Track 19: The Beast (Prod. Da Riffs)

This intro is fucking horrible. This hook is fucking horrible. This beat is wack. This first verse is wack. This second verse is wack. This third verse is wack. This bridge is fucking horrible. This song fucking sucks. I hate this album. I want to die right now. This is fucking awful. 1/5

Track 20: This Is Me (Prod. TyJilla)

This beat is actually decent. The first verse was alright. The hook is absolutely terrible. I’ve never talked about this before, but I just have to get this out. “I’m a king / I’m a clown / I’m a G.” I cannot fucking stand these incredibly lame alter egos that Tech N9ne has. If you’re not familiar with what I’m talking about, sometimes Tech will rap like he’s the “king of darkness,” and it’s unbelievably corny. Sometimes he’ll rap like a “killer clown.” Once again, it’s offensively corny. I mean, just look at this fool.

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He is a grown ass man with children dressed up in fucking dorky ass halloween costumes. He looks like a fucking idiot. Shit like this makes it embarrassing to be a Tech N9ne fan. I hate when he does that. Obviously the most tolerable persona of Tech is “the G,” but even that comes off super inauthentic. Anyway, I can’t fuck with this shit. This song is fucking awful. 1/5

+Tracks:

EUUUGH… FUCK. I don’t wanna review a whole other disk of this shit… You know what? I’m just gonna do this really fucking quickly. This isn’t gonna be nearly as in depth as my normal reviews. I’ve had it with this album tho. You can call me a loser for half assing this review, but I don’t give a shit. I’m not reviewing 35 songs from a garbage ass album. This shit is straight balls. It’s not like I haven’t done this before anyway. I half assed the bonus tracks from Something Else. Okay, here we go. It’s starting now. This intro is dumb and unnecessary. That Owl (Prod. Seven) is starting now. The beat is wack. The hook is fucking horrible. I’m not feelin’ the verses that much. This is another terrible song. Nah. Next track. In My Head (Prod. Mista Royce) is starting now. I’m not feelin’ his melodic delivery on this shit. The beat’s kinda cool. Oh gawd. Nah. This hook from Krizz Kaliko is fucking terrible. Dude… No. Nah. This song is wack. It’s not as bad as the previous track, but it’s still bad. Groupie (Prod. Big Tank) with Krizz Kaliko & Kutt Calhoun is fucking awful. Rock Like That (Prod. Critical Bill & Robert Rebeck) is absolute garbage. It’s performed by Critical Bill, and it’s a fucking Nu Metal song. It’s honestly one of the worst songs on this whole album. It’s fucking dogshit. Everything I said about Rock Like That applies to The Shouting, including the production credits as well as the performing artist. It’s even worse than Rock Like That tho. This album is in the red. This is literally the worst album I’ve ever heard in my life. Don’t Blame Me (Prod. Walter Canady & Raw Beats) by Skatterman & Snug Brim would be decent if it weren’t for the awful featured vocals from Boy Big. The beat’s cool, but I can’t fuck with the song. The hook is awful. OH MY GAWD. Run (Prod. Preston Middleton) by Skatterman & Snug Brim is so fucking bad. This hook is absolutely fucking horrible. No. I cannot do this one. This song is wack af. Okay, Whip It (Prod. Seven) by Kutt Calhoun is starting now. I’ve actually been looking forward to this song. Big Scoob & JL performed their Strangeulation, Vol. II Cypher over this beat. The beat is dope. Wow. This is actually not bad so far. The first verse from Kutt Calhoun was pretty weak—he rhymed “I’m fresh up out the store” with “Straight to the liquor store“—but it wasn’t horrible. It never got overwhelmingly corny. I don’t even mind the hook from Tech. Oh… There’s no Tech N9ne verse. I guess that’s why this is labeled as a Kutt Calhoun song… Ehh… I still don’t think that this song is that bad compared to the other tracks on this album, but I’d be lying if I said it was good. Kutt didn’t rap very well on here. The hook was tolerable, but not really good… The beat was the best thing about this song. It’s a decent track I guess. I won’t be listening to it ever again tho. Playa Like Me (Prod. Seven) by Kutt Calhoun was terrible. The hook with Krizz Kaliko was fucking awful. Trapped Holy War by Project: Deadman were both unforgivably corny. Prozak is just a fucking horrible rapper. I’m sorry, but he really is. Everything about him is corny as fuck. His content, lyrics, voice, delivery… He’s just unbelievably corny. He tries so hard to be dark, but he just looks like a dumbass. It’s even worse than when Tech N9ne tries to be dark. At least Tech N9ne has a dope flow. Prozak is just straight garbage. Both of those songs are fucking dogshit. This second disk is somehow even worse than the first one. Let It Go The Need are both produced by Seven, and they’re performed by Krizz Kaliko. Both of them are fucking terrible. Especially The Need. This is fucking ridiculous. The final trash song, Little Pills (Prod. Rob Rebeck) is performed by Tech N9ne’s Rock band, K.A.B.O.S.H. It’s absolute fucking dogshit. I’m fucking done with this album. That Owl: 1/5 In My Head: 2/5 Groupie: 1/5 Rock Like That: 0/5 The Shouting: 0/5 Don’t Blame Me: 1/5 Run: 1/5 Whip It: 3/5 Playa Like Me: 1/5 Trapped: 0/5 Holy War: 0/5 Let It Go: 1/5 The Need: 0/5 Little Pills: 0/5

Simon

Final Thoughts:

This is literally one of the worst albums I’ve ever heard in my life. What the motherfuck is this shit? NOTHING about this album is good. Even when you think you’re about to get a good song, somebody ruins it with a fucking satanically bad hook. I don’t know how else I can say it. I’ve been shitting on this album ever since I first pressed play. I cannot fucking believe that Tech thought this was good. This album is fucking horseshit. I don’t know how, but the second disk was even wacker than the first one. This album is a fucking joke and should be avoided at all costs. This is a fucking waste of time. AND WHY THE FUCK IS THIS ALBUM SO LONG? I swear every time I listen to an album this long it’s always fucking horrible. I’m fucking offended by this shit. I just wasted my whole fucking day listening to one of the worst Hip Hop albums of all time. This shit made me wanna cry. This is wack af. The first disk’s score is 29%. The second disk’s score is 14%.

Favorite Song: Whip It

Least Favorite Song: Holy War

Verdict:

22%

VERY WACCCKK

Tell me if I’m trippin’ in the comments below

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12 comments

  1. Lol considering all the good things you’ve written about E-40 in your album reviews, I wonder how you would react to one of his solo albums from 2008 onwards.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Don’t worry OG Nick Marsh! You have only 4 (excluding compilations) Tech N9ne albums left! Just get them all over with in the span of 1-2 weeks, and you don’t have to dread reviewing another album of his (until The Storm comes out).

    Liked by 1 person

  3. When I listened to the album for the 1st time I didn’t liked it either but after a while it really grew on me and now I think it’s Tech’s best album so far. To me every song is at least a 3 (on the 1st disc I never listened to the second disc). I thought you would at least like Come Gangsta or The Beast. You must really had a bad day when you listened to this album you should give it another chance.

    Sry for bad english.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Once you get to Absolute Power, that and all his albums before that have significantly less Krizz Kaliko features. In fact, after Anghellic, there are 0 Krizz Kaliko features.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. You could have only reviewed disc 1. Even though you can buy Everready as a 2-disc album, most versions of the album only contain the 1st disc. The 2nd disc is part of a “Collector’s Edition.”

    Like

    • Yeah, I thought about just reviewing the first disk, but I assumed that people would ask me to do the second disk. Actually in hindsight y’all probably would’ve already known that I would’ve hated it. I fucked up.

      Like

  6. Wow. I expected you to be harsh, but an overall score of 22%? Damn. How is this album worse than The Gates Mixed Plate and Misery Loves Kompany? You must seriously have been tripping. I thought this would be at least a 50%.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. ps this album had alot of rock and theater influence so if you not a big fan of rock i can understand why some people will not like this album but it not the worst album in the world !

    Liked by 1 person

  8. For many people this album tech n9ne best album . alot of people Love come gangsta especially old hip hop head because its one of the first songs that combines opera and hip hop. this album got alot of praise back in the day and it was this album that really put tech n9ne on the map. I think you are tripping on this review

    Liked by 1 person

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