Album Review | Tech N9ne – Absolute Power

Click HERE to purchase this album

This album was released on September 24th in 2002. I don’t really know how to start this shit. Honestly I probably would’ve been excited for this album if I never heard Everready. I know that a lot of Tech N9ne fans consider this to be one of his best albums, but according to someone who commented on my Everready review, a lot of Tech N9ne fans consider that to be one of his best albums as well, so I’m just gonna assume that they have pretty poor judgement. Well, I shouldn’t say that. I’ll just say that my opinions are probably pretty different from the opinions of most of Tech N9ne’s fans. I still can’t believe how bad that album was. Y’all, I just reviewed 3 Young Thug mixtapes. I didn’t hate a single one of them as much as I hated Everready. That’s pretty fucked up. I REALLY hated that album. Hopefully this album will be better tho. I’m a little worried that these next few albums of his will all be like Everready. That’s the worst case scenario. I’m just gonna try to keep my expectations low, just in case.

Track 1: Intro

This is a goofy ass fake interview in which Tech explains that he isn’t a devil worshipper for the millionth time. Well, I guess this was technically one of the first times, but you know what I mean.

Track 2: The Industry Is Punks (Prod. RUBONYX)

Oh my— JESUS fucking Christ, Tech. These hooks, man… Fuck. Why the hell did I decide to do a Tech N9ne Marathon? Honestly, I’m questioning whether or not I was really ever a Tech N9ne fan in the first place. The only albums that I even feel comfortable calling good are Something Else & Strangeulation 1. I guess the first disk of Killer was pretty good too. My dislike of the majority of Tech N9ne’s music can all be boiled down to the unforgivable corniness of his hooks. This is really bad. These vocals are fucking disgusting. Oh wooow. Of course he fucking murdered the first verse too. FUUUUCK. I knew this would happen. Seriously, this first verse is fucking awesome. WHY. This is just making me angrier. This hook ruined a potentially great song. The first verse was dope af. His flow was immaculate. This fucking hook tho… I don’t cringe often, but when I do I’m usually listening to a hook from Tech N9ne. Goddamn. All three of the verses on this song are great. I just cannot tolerate this hook tho. It’s an alright song I guess. The hook is wack af. The verses are dope af. The beat is average. 3/5

Track 3: Here Comes Tecca Nina (Prod. Carl Breeding & Flash Technology)

Here Comes Tecca Nina

Oh no… He’s ALREADY talking about sex. “If you didn’t come to hear some strips club hits / Then get the hell on ’cause I’m gettin’ my mail on.” Even Tech N9ne is telling me that I should stop listening to his music. What if I listened to all of Tech N9ne’s albums, except the first one, and then I just gave up on the marathon right before finishing it. That would suck. That… That would just suck so much. Anyway, I’m not really feelin’ this beat. Tech’s flow on the first verse is obviously dope, but the lyrical content just isn’t for me. Of course the hook is fucking God awful. Remember what I said about the first verse a sentence ago? Pretend I said it about the second and third verses too. This shit is wack. 2/5

Track 4: Imma Tell (Prod. RUBONYX)

Imma Tell

I’m not feelin’ this beat. That Rosemary Clooney sample is pretty damn terrible to me. This is definitely one of the more tolerable hooks so far, but I’m still just not really feelin’ it. I actually wasn’t feelin’ Tech’s flow. I mean, yeah I liked it’s fast pace, but the actual flow pattern was pretty annoying to me. The lyrics were really bad too. This hook gets more and more wack the more I hear it. That sample is just so fucking lame. I really don’t like this shit… I don’t like a single thing about this song. I’m not feelin’ the beat. I don’t like the sample. The hook was terrible. The lyrics were really bad. Even Tech’s flow wasn’t doin’ it for me. This song is wack af. 1/5

Track 5: Slacker (Prod. Femi Ojetunde)

Slacker

Oh my God… Really? He’s defining the word “slacker” on the intro. It’s like everything he does makes me roll my eyes. I used to view Tech as a less corny version of Hopsin, but nah. He’s still pretty goddamn corny. He’s nowhere near as bad as Hopsin, but goddamn. He’s… He just so corny… This beat actually isn’t that bad. I’m enjoyed this first verse too. I’m not feelin’ the hook. The second verse was alright. Seriously sometimes Tech’s lyrics make me think that his verses are ghost written by 12 year olds. “I stay rid of you lames; y’all gay / I play video games all day.” I guess that’s part of this song’s concept. He’s supposed to sound like a social degenerate. I guess I just don’t really like the concept itself. I don’t like this song. It’s probably the best song on the album so far, but it’s definitely not something I ever wanna hear again. It’s alright I guess. 3/5

Track 6: Keep On Keepin’ On Feat. Krizz Kaliko (Prod. RUBONYX)

Oh shit. This beat is actually kinda dope. The first verse was cool aside from a handful of corny lines. I’m not in love with the hook from Krizz Kaliko, but it’s not terrible like I was expecting it to be. Everything I said about the first verse applies to the second verse. This is easily the most tolerable song on the album so far. I don’t think it’s something I’d ever wanna return to, but I don’t really think this is a bad song. The third verse wasn’t bad, but this song just doesn’t really have any replay value for me. It’s alright. I definitely wasn’t feelin’ that outro with Krizz Kaliko tho. 3/5

Track 7: Gunz Will Bust Feat. Money Hungry, Skatterman & Snug Brim (Prod. Big Los)

This beat is wack as fuck. Snug Brim’s on the first verse. It was dope. This hook is absolutely horrible. Good God. This Money Hungry dude actually sounds pretty cool on this second verse. His verse was dope. Oh my fucking God. These cheap ass synths sound fucking awful. Skatterman came in right behind Money Hungry. His flow was great. I enjoyed his verse. This beat is just so bad tho… This hook is awful too. Tech’s verse was really dope aside from the F bomb, but nah… I can’t fuck with this song. I probably would’ve liked this song if it weren’t for the horrible beat and catastrophic hook. And what the fuck was that German guy doing in the background? Who the fuck was that? He sounded absolutely terrible on this song. I think there was a Jamaican dude too. It was the same Jamaican guy from the intro to Shit Is Real. This song is really fuckin’ bad. I liked the verses tho. 2/5

Track 8: Biancas & Beatrices Feat. Kutt Calhoun (Prod. RUBONYX)

Oh God… I think I mentioned this before; maybe it was in my Everready review. Tech makes up a bunch of fake words like “Dwamn” and it’s fucking corny as fuck. So yeah. I’m expecting this song to be absolutely terrible. OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD. WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK IS THIS HOOK? DOG, OH MY GAWD. THIS IS FUCKING HORRIBLE. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME RIGHT NOW, TECH? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT??? FUUUCK. I fucking… I hate Tech N9ne. I mean, I don’t, but… Good fucking lord. I can’t believe how fucking bad this shit is. I seriously wish I could give this song a -1. I’m seriously considering just giving up on this marathon right now. This song is fucking trash. This is one of the worst songs I’ve heard since I started this website. The beat is terrible. It sounds like some cheap ass Folk music sample. The lyrics are misogynistic as hell. “Bianca” & “Beatrice” are basically Tech’s euphemisms for the word “slut.” I can’t believe this shit. “I called her ‘Bianca,‘ then she said ‘What is that Bianca shit?‘ / I looked and cracked a smile and said ‘Bianca means you, bitch.” Oh my fucking God. If I was that chick I would’ve beat the fucking dogshit outta Tech. Once for being corny as hell, and again for being a fucking douchebag. This song is seriously making me consider suicide right now. This is fucking hilarious. Is this some kinda joke? This might actually be the worst song I’ve ever heard in my life. I can’t believe this song exists. I can’t believe there are people who think this is good. Kutt Calhoun definitely had a better verse than Tech, but the actual subject matter is just awful. Fuck this song. This is fucking garbage. I can’t articulate how fucking awful this shit is. This song is fucking dogshit. 0/5

Simon

Track 9: Diamond Joe’s (Interlude)

I can’t believe how fucking bad that previous track was…

Track 10: Slither (Prod. RonnZfromBerlin)

Oh my Jesus. The cringe. This intro… “A stallion / Ass like ‘pow!‘ / Chest like ‘bang!‘ / Lips like ‘ooh.” The subject matter obviously isn’t for me. This beat is average at best. The first verse wasn’t good… This hook… I know I’ve been saying this a lot… But I’ve never cringed so hard before in my entire life. I just listened to the whole song. It’s bad. Really bad. This song is fucking awful to me. I don’t like a single thing about this track. This shit is wack af. 1/5

Track 11: Disturbance (Interlude)

This shit was weird as hell.

Track 12: Trapped In A Psycho’s Body (Prod. RonnZfromBerlin)

Oh God. I guess this is the section of the album in which Tech tries really hard to be dark. Alright, let’s get this bullshit over with. This beat is kinda shitty. Basically Tech is saying that he can’t control what his body does. He’s talking about his own body like it’s a different person. “He popped fifteen hits of ex in one night / Licked big tits; had sex with some dykes / And he won’t use protection for my erection / Constantly makin’ me get that penicillin injection.” I’m not feelin’ the vocal effect he’s using on the first verse. The whole concept of this song is just super lame. The hook is terrible. Some chick is singing, and her vocals are reversed. That was a terrible idea; it sounds awful. The second verse was pretty goddamn terrible. I mean, I guess you could say that he’s doing the concept well, but the concept itself is stupid to me. “Blood mixed with ejaculation.” I’m not feelin’ this song. This shit is wack to me. 2/5

Track 13: T9X (Prod. IcyRoc Kraven)

Why the fuck is Tech N9ne’s early music so bad? This is fucking unbelievable. I can’t believe shit like this exists. I can’t believe people label this as “entertainment.” I’m not feelin’ this beat. I’m not feelin’ the pitch shifted vocals from Tech all over this song. “Overwhelming sense of love, got these nuts so sprung / Walk up to a stranger, ‘Baby, can I suck your tongue?” The first verse was terrible. He’s just rapping about how he feels when he takes drugs. Oh my fuckk. WHAT THE FUCK is this hook. Jesus fuck… This song is fucking awful. I… I just can’t believe how fucking bad this shit is. Nah. I can’t fuck with this shit. This is wack af to me. 1/5

Track 14: She Devil Feat. D12 (Prod. RonnZfromBerlin)

Alright, maybe D12 will help make this song tolerable. It’s starting now. This beat actually isn’t that bad. The intro was corny as fuck, but I’ll give him a pass. The subject matter isn’t really for me, but I still enjoyed the first verse because of Tech’s flow… Oh. My. Gawd. Nah. This hook is fucking terrible. Bizarre’s verse was terrible. Kuniva & Mr. Porter did they thing I guess. I just… The subject matter really isn’t for me. They definitely did a better job than Bizarre tho. This is just a really misogynistic song. I wasn’t really feelin’ the verses from Swifty & Proof either. I can’t fuck with this shit. This is wack to me. 2/5

Track 15: Worst Enemy (Prod. RUBONYX)

I’m not really feelin’ this beat… Huh. This kinda sounds like a diss song. Kinda. “You was supposed to be my dog / Homie, when I first met you what was told to me was fraud.” Oh… He’s… He’s talkin’ about his dick. Well, he definitely gets points for creativity. He’s just rapping about how his dick is always getting him into trouble. I think this is a pretty well done song. I don’t really like it personally, but I can’t really say it’s that bad of a song. His flow was dope as hell. The production and vocals on the outro definitely kept me from enjoying it tho. Also, the actual concept… It was a cool idea, but not something I’d be able to take seriously and enjoy. It’s a decent song. Just not for me. 3/5

Track 16: Signing Off (Interlude)

I guess Tech isn’t gonna try to be super dark on this album anymore. Thank God.

Track 17: Absolute Power (RonnZfromBerlin)

Okay, maybe I was wrong about him not trying to be dark anymore… Look, this whole reversed vocals thing… I get that he thinks it’s creepy and dark, but… I mean, I guess it IS kinda creepy, but it’s also corny as hell. This… Huh… I can’t decide whether or not this first verse is terrible or amazing. When it first started his delivery was annoying as fuck, but it gets better and better as the song progresses. Oh shit… Was that an Outkast reference? He just said “Hootie hoo.” Lmao. HOOTIE HOOOOOOOO. You probably won’t get that unless you read my review of Aquemini. Anyway, the first verse was alright. There were a lot of things I liked about it, but a lot of things held it back for me as well. The beat’s alright I guess. The hook is pretty terrible. “I do Hip Hop and I mix it with the Hard Rock.” That’s exactly why I dislike so much of his music. I’m not feelin’ this second verse. Oh shit… “Fuck Jay Faires and everybody down with him, and fuck JCOR.” Huh. JCOR is a label founded by Jay Faires. I think maybe Tech was signed to him at one point. I don’t really give a shit honestly. This hook is so fucking bad. I can’t fuck with this shit, man. Tech’s verses were cool, but pretty much every other facet of this song is wack to me. The production got more and more annoying as I listened to this shit. The hook was horrible. I’m not feelin’ this one. It’s wack. 2/5

Track 18: Yada, Yada, Yada (Prod. 5150 Mental Productions)

Huh… I think I may actually end up liking this song. We’ll have to see how the hook turns out. I wasn’t in love with the dramatic intro, but this beat is dope, and I’m enjoying the first verse from Tech. He’s kinda dissing his former producer Don Juan. I’m not really feelin’ this hook, but it’s not terrible. This is definitely the best song on the album so far. The second verse was dope. The third verse was great. I actually think I like this song. This is probably the closest thing we’ll ever get to a diss track from Tech N9ne unfortunately. Seriously can you imagine that? That’d be fuckin’ awesome. Anyway, I wasn’t really fuckin’ with the hook, but it was tolerable. The beat was actually pretty dope, and the verses from Tech were great. This is dope to me. 4/5

Track 19: Constantly Dirty (Performed by The 57th Street Rogue Dog Villains) [Prod. 5150 Mental Productions]

I’m not feelin’ this hook. The first verse from Big Scoob was pretty good. I fuck with Big Scoob, man. He’s dope. Don’t get it twisted; I don’t think I’d enjoy a full length project from him. I like when he’s featured on Tech’s songs tho. Maybe if he drops an EP I might check it out. The beat’s not bad. The second verse from Bakarii was pretty dope. T-Will’s verse wasn’t bad. I’d probably like this if it weren’t for that hook. Tech’s verse was cool. This song is alright. It’s be dope if the hook wasn’t so bad. I can’t get into it tho. It’s okay. 3/5

Track 20: I’m A Playa Feat. Krizz Kaliko (Prod. Robert Rebeck)

Alright. Finally, the last song. Oh. My. God. HAHAHAHAHA. NO HE DIDN’T! THIS FOOL INTERPOLATED ROCK ME AMADEUS FOR THE HOOK! HAHAHAHA. Dog, this is some of the corniest shit Tech’s ever done. This hook is fucking HORRIBLE. I’m not feelin’ this beat either. The first verse was cool. Jesus dude. This hook… Good fucking lord. This is so bad. I’m not feelin’ this verse from Krizz Kaliko. I’m not… No, man. This is just… I’m sorry, but I can’t take this shit. This song is fucking awful to me. The beat was corny as fuck. The hook was fucking painful to listen to. This shit is wack af to me. 1/5

Final Thoughts:

Oh my God. It’s over. Thank you lord. I’m sorry to all the hardcore Tech N9ne fans reading this, but I thought this album was fucking terrible. It was nowhere near as bad as Everready, but Goddamn. Tech N9ne is just… He’s so good at rapping, but he’s so bad at making music. It’s crazy. I don’t even really know what the fuck to say right now. This album isn’t any different from Tech’s other shit. Everything I said about Everready applies to this album. It’s just not as bad. It’s still really bad tho. The production was pretty lackluster for the most part. The subject matter was rarely interesting. Tech’s attempts at being dark and edgy completely failed. It’s just so corny. The album cover should’ve been a picture of Tech N9ne stuffing corn down his fans’ throats. Also it’s way too fuckin’ long. That’s always been a problem for Tech tho. I’m sorry. This shit is wack. I can’t fuck with this album. It’s bad. It’s really, really, really bad.

Favorite Song: Yada, Yada, Yada

Least Favorite Song: Biancas & Beatrices

Verdict:

41%

WACCCKK

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7 comments

  1. You said in your review that if Big Scoob dropped an EP, you would check it out. Big Scoob already has an EP. If you want to check it out, it’s called No Filter.

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  2. You’re so close OG Nick Marsh! I think (in my opinion) that you’ve gotten past all of his bad albums now. Before Absolute Power, his music was more serious and didn’t have BS like Biancas and Beatrices,T9X, the Sextion, Pu Wah Wah, Chilly Rub, etc. And the most important detail: Other than one feature on Anghellic, there will be no more Krizz Kaliko! You’re almost done with the marathon: you can do it! Don’t give up!

    Liked by 1 person

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