Mixtape Review | Lil Uzi Vert – The Perfect Luv Tape

This tape just dropped a few minutes ago, and honestly I’m expecting it to be fuckin’ trash since Lil Uzi Vert Vs. The World is one of the worst mixtapes I’ve ever heard in my life, but it’s only 10 tracks so I figured I’d just go ahead and check it out. Maybe there’ll be at least one decent song. Honestly I didn’t even know this tape existed until a few minutes ago. I really hope I like it. I just don’t understand the hype behind this dude. Lil Uzi Vert Vs. The World was absolute fucking garbage. I’m sure I’ll at least fuck with some of the production on this tape tho. Alright, lemme quit wasting time and listen to this trash.

Track 1: Do What I Want (Prod. Maaly Raw & Don Cannon)

Okay this beat is fucking incredible. Well, maybe that’s an exaggeration. It’s really dope tho. Jesus fucking christ… I just can’t stand this dude’s voice. He sounds fucking annoying as shit. This first verse is terrible. Oh my fucking God. This hook is awful. This is so fucking annoying. He’s literally just saying “NOW I DO WHAT I WANT” over and over again. Maaly Raw & Don Cannon did a really good job with this song. Uzi fucking ruined it tho. This is fucking wack. I can’t fuck with this bullshit. 2/5

Track 2: Of Course We Ghetto Flowers (Prod. Maaly Raw)

Oh my God. “YAAAAYAAYAAAAAAUUUUGHH.” Dog, this is so fucking bad. Why the fuck does he… Why… Why is he doing this? Why doesn’t he just rap? His voice is fucking awful. I don’t wanna hear this fool moaning like this all over this energetic beat. It sounds fucking terrible. The beat isn’t even good. Oh my fucking God. This hook is fuckin’ trash. He’s just saying “WOAH” over and over again. I seriously don’t see the appeal. I feel like anyone could make this song. You don’t need talent to make music like this. “She shake it fast / Yeah, she drop it slow / Huh? What? YAH NECK ON FROZE.” This is wack af. This is like Young Thug Lite. He’s basically doing what Young Thug does, except his lyrics are a little more coherent, and his hooks are nowhere near as catchy. I can’t fucking stand this song. This is fucking dogshit. Jesus Christ. What the fuck? Who the fuck is this on the second verse? Oh my fuck. It’s an uncredited verse from Playboi Carti… Good fucking lord. You remember how I said Lil Uzi Vert was Young Thug Lite? Well, Playboi Carti sounds like Lil Uzi Vert Lite. What the hell? Now Offset is on the third verse. No. No, this is fuckin’ terrible. This song is absolute dogshit. I can’t fuckin’ stand this shit. 0/5

Simon

Track 3: Original Uzi (4 Of Us) [Prod. Maaly Raw & Ike Beatz]

Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why is this so fucking bad? Why. Why. Why. You know, if you read this review out loud over a Metro Boomin’ beat, it’d probably sound like a Lil Uzi Vert song because most of his music is just him repeating the same few words over and over again. This song is terrible. This beat isn’t even that good. What the hell am I even listening to right now? Has the verse started yet? I can’t tell if this is the verse or the hook. Either way it’s fuckin’ terrible. Hmm… I see a lot of people on the Rap Genius forums calling this tape trash. I can never tell whether or not they’re serious tho. They might just be trolling. They’re saying he’s making music for suburban white kids now. What the hell are they talking about? This isn’t that much worse than Lil Uzi Vert Vs. The World. This is really just more of the same. Although to be fair, a lot of the suburban white kids at my school love Lil Uzi Vert. Maybe they have a point. A user on Rap Genius named LilUziVertStan just changed his name to KodakBlackStan because of how bad this tape was. Kodak Black is arguably worse than Lil Uzi Vert tho… Whatever. I don’t care. I can’t fuck with this shit. This is wack af. 1/5

Track 4: Money Mitch (Prod. Zaytoven)

UUuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh. This is honestly even worse than Lil Uzi Vert Vs. The World. Who the fuck is this? Who is this on the hook? Is this the hook or the verse? You never really know with Lil Uzi Vert… Hmm… That voice sounds familiar, but I can’t really put my finger on it… This hook is terrible. Uzi’s flow is wack as hell. This is so goddamn boring. Please tell me who this uncredited feature is in the comments. I’m not feelin’ this beat from Zaytoven. This is just struggle bars on top of struggle bars. This shit is absolutely fucking terrible. I don’t even know what else to say. I don’t see the appeal. I don’t like a single thing about this track. This is wack af to me. 1/5

Track 5: Sideline Watching (Hold Up) [Prod. Zaytoven]

This is just… I’m sorry, but I just can’t believe people actually like this shit. This hook is fucking terrible. This beat is actually pretty dope to be honest. I wasn’t really impressed at first, but when the second layer of percussion comes in it gets a lot better. “Gettin’ to the money; if you snooze you lose / You should see the way that they plot on you.” I don’t see how anyone could argue that Lil Uzi Vert is a decent rapper. He might as well not even be speaking English ’cause his lyrics go in one ear and out the other. Nobody cares what Uzi has to say. This is so fucking bad. I’m not feelin’ this shit. This is fuckin’ wack. The only reason I’m not givin’ it a 1 is ’cause the beat from Zaytoven was dope. 2/5

Track 6: Alfa Romeo AW30 (Prod. DP Beatz)

Nooooooooooo. What the fuck… I’m so fuckin’ bored right now. Literally every Lil Uzi Vert song I’ve ever heard has followed the same exact formula. First he gets a cheap, fast paced beat, then he quickly repeats the same few words over it again and again, sometimes with a slightly melodic delivery. Does that sound like good music to you? It sure as fuck doesn’t to me. This song is fucking awful. Jesus fucking Christ. What is there to even say? This shit isn’t any different from the previous few tracks. It’s fucking horrible. I can’t fuck with this trash. I can’t believe people actually allow artists to get paid making generic bullshit like this. This is fucking dogshit. 0/5

Simon

Track 7: You’re Lost (Prod. Don Cannon & Slade Da Monsta)

This beat is fucking awful. It sounds like someone sampled a SNES game. That sounds like a good idea on paper, but the way they did this just… No. They tried to make this shit into a love song too. This might actually be one of the wackest songs on the whole tape so far. This is fucking awful. “Slide on it / Ride on it / Turn around, girl, bite on it.” Fuuuuuck. This mixtape is fucking torture to listen to. No. I’m not feelin’ this shit. This is wack af to me. 1/5

Track 8: Erase Your Social (Prod. Don Cannon & Lyle Leduff)

Pretty much everyone online is saying that this tape is wack compared to Lil Uzi Vert Vs. The World. I have to agree. I don’t remember it being quite this bad. This track in particular might actually be one of the dumbest songs I’ve heard all year. “I ain’t got no Snapchat, homie / I think it’s too personal / That’s what I got Twitter for / Instagram I back it up.” The beat’s kinda dope tho. I’m so tired of hearing this guy’s voice. The melody of this song is so fucking repetitive. This shit is fuckin’ trash. Nah. I can’t fuck with this. This is wack af. 1/5

Track 9: Ronda (Winners) [Prod. Metro Boomin’ & CuBeatz]

It’s gonna be REALLY fuckin’ hard to choose a favorite song, but for all the wrong reasons. None of this shit is good. This beat isn’t good. It just isn’t. It sounds like some shit I’d hear in a fuckin’ Fisher-Price commercial. I really shouldn’t have listened to this shit. This is fucking horrible. This hook is fucking annoying. Noooo. Ugh. Nah. I’m done with this fuckin’ song. This shit is wack af. 1/5

Track 10: Seven Million Feat. Future (Prod. Nard & B, XL & Don Cannon)

Oh no… NO. Not Future. Jesus fucking Christ. Lil Uzi Vert Vs. The World & 56 Nights are two of the worst mixtapes I’ve ever heard in my life. I don’t think I’m gonna like this shit… It’s starting now. This beat is kinda dope. No. I’m not feelin’ the hook from Future. I just listened to the whole song. It’s fucking awful. What the fu— YO. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. I’m fuckin’ pissed right now… Why the fuck does this shit exist? I don’t see what there is to like about this shit. The beat’s kinda dope. That’s it. Everything else about this shit is annoying as hell. I like Trap music too. I mean, I dislike a lot of it, but there’s way better Trap music out there than this shit. This is fucking awful. This shit made me wanna die. This is wack af. 1/5

Final Thoughts:

This is the worst mixtape I’ve ever heard in my life. Unless I’m forgetting something, this is the most negative review I’ve ever written. I don’t even know what to say about this shit. It’s really bad. Not bad in a funny way. It’s not so bad that it’s good. It’s just bad. Almost every track sounded identical. This is some of the most boring, generic Trap music I’ve ever heard in my life. It’s just fucking garbage. I can’t believe how fucking wack this shit is. I can’t believe there are people who tolerate shit like this. We should expect more from new artists. As I said earlier in this review, you don’t need talent to make shit like this. This sounds like some random ass motherfucker just took a bunch of generic Trap beats and repeated the same 4 words over and over again. This was a waste of fucking time. I can’t believe I just listened to this shit. It was absolutely fucking horrible. This shit is wack af.

Favorite Song: Umm… I don’t fuckin’ know. Who gives a shit honestly?

Least Favorite Song: Of Course We Ghetto Flowers

Verdict:

20%

20-29

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3 comments

  1. Lol this man so butt hurt and probably the biggest hater of all time. It’s music man, no one asked you to listen to it.

  2. Wow. A project worse than Everready. I never thought that would happen. Have you decided to completely change your gif system?

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