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This album was released on July 29th this year. Alright, how should I start this shit? Let’s talk about Snapchat—follow me; my username is blackculturetv. As most of you hopefully know, DJ Khaled blew the fuck up last year by taking advantage of Snapchat. I’m not really sure how he did it. I guess he just posted a shitload of videos of himself, and people found it funny. It’s kinda weird tho. As far as I can tell, he’s ALWAYS had this insanely douchy, over the top personality. Remember that dumbass video for How Many Times? It was fucking hilarious. I didn’t realize that he was acting that way on purpose until other people started talking about it tho. I just thought he was a genuine douchebag. He’s been acting like that his whole career from what I can remember. I’ve listened to a few albums from DJ Khaled. I remember liking a lot of the tracks on Kiss The Ring. Suffering From Success was really bad tho, so I ended up skipping I Changed A Lot. The only reason I’m checking this album out is because it has Nas, Kendrick Lamar, Busta Rhymes & Jadakiss on it. I haven’t heard any of the songs from it, so I’m going into this completely blind. I’m expecting it to be mediocre at best. We’ll see tho.

Track 1: I Got The Keys (Performed by JAY-Z) Feat. Future [Prod. Southside, Jake One & G. Koop]

I’ve never heard this song, but I have a very vague idea of what the hook sounds like. I don’t think I’m gonna like this track. I can’t stand Future, and I’ve never really been into JAY-Z either. It’s starting now. This beat is dope. I actually don’t really mind this hook from Future. I definitely don’t like it, but it’s tolerable. I can see it getting annoying after a while tho. The first verse from Jay was cool. His flow was dope. I actually like this so far. I’m really not a fan of the verses from Jay lyrically, but I think his flow was really nice on this track. The second verse was cool. I like this song. I’m not amazed or anything, but this is definitely far better than I thought it’d be. This is dope to me. 4/5

Track 2: For Free (Performed by Drake) [Prod. Nineteen85 & Jordan Ullman]

Fuck, man. I don’t wanna listen to a fucking Drake song. Actually… Hmm… I think I might have already heard this track… Actually, no I think I’m thinking of something else. Whatever. I’m just gonna get this bullshit outta the way. It’s starting now. This beat is pretty underwhelming. This song is even less interesting than the previous track lyrically. Drake’s just rapping about sex again. This is a really boring song… “Like your boy from Compton said / You know ‘this dick ain’t free.‘” This first verse is awful… “You got attitude on na na / And your pussy on agua / And your stomach on flat flat / And your ass on what’s that?” …WHAT? I think it’s pretty clear that he wasn’t really putting a lot of effort into this track. “Your stomach on flat flat.” Seriously… I just… What the fuck was he doing on this track? Who the fuck wrote this shit for him? Did PARTYNEXTDOOR write this shit? He probably did. He’s responsible for a lot of Drake’s most cringe worthy shit. Well, I guess it’s kinda fucked up for me to get mad at PARTY for Drake’s wackness. Anyway, I’m not feelin’ the hook. This honestly feels like a Views throwaway. This is REALLY bad. If you aren’t already a huge fan of Drake I don’t really see you liking this shit. I personally think this is wack af. It’s obviously not meant for me. I can’t stand this kinda shit. 1/5

Track 3: Nas Album Done (Performed by Nas) [Prod. Cool & Dre & 808-Ray]

Alright, here we go. I’ve heard great things about this song. Before I listen to this track tho… What the hell is with that title? Who chose that title? Did Nas make DJ Khaled call it that? Why… I mean, I guess it’s cool that Nas used the hype surrounding DJ Khaled and this project as a means to promote his upcoming album, but… Well, I guess it’s not really a big deal. The title doesn’t matter. Alright, it’s starting now. Okay, this beat is dope af. It samples Fu-Gee-La by The Fugees. Nas’ flow on this first verse is really dope. This is fucking awesome. “Celebrity Apprentice a devil show / Big up to Africa, Mexico.” Of course he gets points for the Donald Trump diss. Nas is goin’ the fuck off right now. “To every baby on the album cover existin’ / This trend I was settin’, it came to fruition / I’m assistin’ to push the culture forward.” This is crazy. “We get government aid / Spend it at their stores, puttin’ they kids through college / We need balance so we can lease and own deeds in our projects / So I’m askin’ Gs to go in their pockets / The racial economic inequality; let’s try to solve it.” He killed that first verse. I feel like I haven’t heard Nas spit like this in a long ass time for some reason. His verses on The Ghetto by The Game & the remixes of March Madness by Future & God by Jeezy were dope af too, but this is just on another level. The second verse was crazy too. This whole fucking song is just straight flames. “Khaled called me when I was in album mode, so I put it on hold for the Major Key / My album done, niggas, wait and see.” If this is the kinda shit he was givin’ out to DJ Khaled, I can’t fuckin’ wait to see what the hell he did for his own album. I was already looking forward to his upcoming album, but this shit just put me over the top. He absolutely murdered this. His flow was phenomenal. Hmm… I just realized it’s been 4 years since Life Is Good came out. It really doesn’t feel like it’s been that long to me. I guess it’s ’cause I’ve been listening to all of his other shit. I guess I should hurry up and review Nigger & Life Is Good before his next project comes. I wonder when we’re gonna get the first single. It’s probably not gonna come out until next year. Whatever. This song is dope af. 5/5

Track 4: Holy Key (Performed by Big Sean) Feat. Kendrick Lamar & Betty Wright [Prod. Edsclusive Co & Cool & Dre]

I remember DJ Khaled hyping this song up before it’s release. He compared Kendrick’s verse on this song to his verse on Control. I’m gonna tell y’all right now… It’s not that good. I haven’t heard the verse yet, but if it was as good as his verse on Control I’d know by now. Hell, we’d ALL know by now. Anybody who wasn’t living under a rock three years ago knows that if Kendrick’s verse was as good as it was on Control, the internet would have lost its goddamn mind again. I’m sure it’s a good verse tho. I guess DJ Khaled was probably just saying that Big Sean got controlled on this song. Alright, it’s starting now. Woah. This beat is REALLY fucking dope. The drum pattern seems a little weird tho. Big Sean’s goin’ in right now. Man… I just can’t take this guy’s wimpy ass voice. It really doesn’t fit well over this grandiose production. His verse was actually good tho. I’m serious. Big Sean rapped really well on this song. This is really probably the best verse I’ve ever heard from him. I’m definitely not blown away or amazed or anything. I didn’t expect this from Sean tho. Good for him. The hook from Betty Wright is cool I guess. I’m not in love with it, but it doesn’t really hurt the song. What the fuck… Goddamn. “The universe and the heavens work in my DNA / Kendrick said ‘Fuck Mother Earth;‘ that’s PSA / The land of the wicked, the foundation of Lucifer’s spirit / Walking zombies and spell catchers; I pray for forgiveness.” Kendrick is goin’ the fuck IN right now. “Uncle Bobby and Paul June is lost again / The underworld and the fourth dimension my family’s in / The big money, the fast cars my life produced / The blocks I connected while rebuilding this Rubik’s cube.” Holy FUCK. Kendrick absolutely murdered this shit. How the fuck did he not run out of shit to say after To Pimp A Butterfly? I mean, I know that album came out over a year ago, but I seriously wasn’t expecting to still be hearing from him this much. I thought he would’ve been on a break like Frank Ocean. I’m not complaining tho. “I’m restoring the portrait of feasting, nigga; I am beast / I don’t like to sleep; I’m up like coyote, I might OD / Hair like ODB, I’m off a higher need / Khaled is valid, I been looking for inspiration / But when you the only king, you the only one in the matrix.” Betty Wright’s vocals are a little too over the top for me. Especially that outro. That made me a little uncomfortable. She was singin’ way too hard. Her vocals on the outro instilled fear and induced laughter at the same time somehow. Not in a good way either. It’s not something I feel comfortable penalizing this song for tho. Honestly, I probably would’ve liked this song even if Kendrick wasn’t on it because Big Sean actually rapped really well. He STILL somehow got outdone tho. I’m not even gonna blame Sean for that tho. If any other mainstream rapper aside from Lupe Fiasco, Eminem, and maybe Pusha T was on this track he or she would’ve gotten killed by Kendrick. Sean just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I can’t even remember Sean’s verse. It was dope tho. Kendrick just really killed this shit. This is dope af to me. 5/5

Track 5: Jermaine’s Interlude (Performed by J. Cole) [Prod. Hollywood JB]

Wow. This album is actually kinda good so far. I really wasn’t expecting to enjoy it this much. I don’t know how many more tracks I’m gonna end up liking, but this song in particular looks like it’ll be pretty good. I like J. Cole. I don’t think he’s amazing. I think he could be if he tried REALLY hard tho. I usually like him better on features than on his own shit, so he probably came through on this track. It’s starting now. I don’t know who the fuck this is on the intro. It’s not bad tho. This beat is really dope. I fuck with this hook too. Damn. Alright, I just listened to the whole song. That verse was really dope. Like I said, I usually like Cole better on features. This is exactly why. I hope he raps like this on his next album. This track is really dope. There’s only one verse. The song’s got a pretty simplistic structure. As a result, there’s not really much to say about it. It’s just a good song. I think this’d feel more complete if there was at least one more verse. I still like this shit tho. I can say that I’m a little more interested in Cole’s next album than I was before. I guess I should mention the line that everyone’s talking about. “Said all that I could say, now I play with thoughts of retirement.” Yeah… I don’t really give a shit. I really like J. Cole, and I don’t feel like he’s reached his full potential, but I’d be lying if I said I’d be super upset if he retired. Rappers never retire anyway. Except Jay Electronica. And maybe Andre 3000. I guess Fatlip too. Okay, some rappers retire. J. Cole won’t tho. And, again, if he does I won’t really give a shit. I don’t dislike him, but it’s not like there’s a shortage of dope rappers right now. I feel like he could be easily replaced in the mainstream anyway. A lot of rappers are following the same formula that he follows. So there ya go. Anyway, I fuck with this song. I think it could’ve used another verse, but I guess it wouldn’t really feel like an interlude if it was any longer. This is dope to me. Oh, by the way, whoever that was singing on the intro is a rap duo named EarthGang. I’ve heard of them, but I’ve never actually checked out their shit. Maybe I should give them a shot and see if I like their music. 4/5

Track 6: Ima Be Alright (Performed by Bryson Tiller) Feat. Future [Prod. The Beat Bully]

Alright… I don’t think I’m gonna like this track. I’m not really in Bryson Tiller, and I can’t stand Future. This beat’s kinda wack. I’m not feelin’ this hook from Bryson Tiller. Wow. This is… This is REALLY bad… Future sounds awful on this shit. The first verse is wack af. I wasn’t feelin’ the second verse from Bryson Tiller either. Jesus. I don’t like anything about this song. Honestly, this is just as bad as that For Free track. I don’t even know what to say about this track. The more I listen to it the less I like it. The beat and hook are wack, Future’s verse is awful, and Bryson Tiller’s verse just sounds like an extended version of the hook. This is wack af to me. 1/5

Track 7: Do You Mind (Performed by Chris Brown) Feat. Nicki Minaj, August Alsina, Jeremih, Future & Rick Ross [Prod. DJ Nasty & LVM & Lee On The Beats]

Wow. This isn’t gonna be good. I’ve never seen so many mediocre artists on one song. I guess I wouldn’t call Jeremih mediocre. I guess… Do people still listen to August Alsina? Why the fuck did DJ Khaled get him & Chris Brown on the same track? Whatever; I don’t really give a shit. Alright, I’m listening to the song right now. The first verse was from Nicki Minaj. It was 8 bars long and incredibly cringe worthy. “Eat the cake and he suck on my toes, yes / Hittin’ them home runs; I be like ‘Go Mets!‘ / I want a dude that still kiss me when he mad / Type to cop me diamonds; he can miss me with them bags.” I really can’t tell if that’s Chris Brown on the hook or August Alsina. As you can probably tell from the lines I just quoted, the content doesn’t interest me at all. The hook is at least kinda entertaining sonically. The beat does nothing for me tho. I think that’s August Alsina singing on the second verse. “Girl, you know you can’t do no better, baby / I know that it don’t get no better than me.” Haha. What a douche. Jeremih comes in right behind him. This is just so… Who is this for? I guess if you’re really into super mainstream, commercialized Pop Rap you’ll love this. If you only hear music when the radio is on, this is the song for you. This hook lasts way too long. I actually didn’t hate Future’s verse. Rick Ross’ fake ass actually sounded pretty damn good over this beat too. Chris Brown didn’t have a verse. I guess that was him on the hook then. I wasn’t feelin’ this track. It’s definitely not the wackest song on this album. It’s still pretty wack to me tho. 2/5

Track 8: Pick These Hoes Apart (Performed by Jeezy) Feat. Kodak Black & French Montana [Prod. Ben Billions & Dyryk]

Oh my god… This might end up being the worst song on the album, and maybe even one of the worst songs of the year. Jeezy’s here tho, so maybe there’ll be at least one good verse. I don’t know… I can already tell from the title that this is about to be super misogynistic. Okay, it’s starting now. Oh my fucking God. I’ve never heard anything from Kodak Black aside from his XXL Freshman Freestyle. I wish it could stay that way… This guy sounds absolutely horrific on the first verse. “She so wet I make that pussy fart.” I guess he’s not that much worse lyrically than any other Trap artist these days. Why are they singing tho? Even Jeezy has kind of a melodic delivery on this hook. He sounds fucking horrible. This beat is super underwhelming. The hook from Jeezy is awful. Jesus fucking Christ. I can’t take this shit. At least Jeezy switched his delivery up for the second verse. It’s still pretty bad tho. Holy motherfuck. Oh my fucking shit. I… Dog… This fuckin’ French Montana verse. How does he have a wacker verse than Kodak Black? I cannot fucking take this guy. There’s… There’s no way he really thought this was good. I really think French Montana tries to sound like this intentionally. There’s no way he’s actually this bad. This is easily one of the worst songs I’ve heard all year. Even if this was a solo Jeezy song it would be terrible. The Kodak Black & French Montana verses just turn it to complete dogshit. 0/5

Track 9: Fuck Up The Club (Performed by Future) Feat. Rick Ross, YG & Yo Gotti [Prod. Qolorsound & Cool & Dre]

Why. Why is Future on this fucking album so much? No. No. No. What the fuck happened to this album? This shit went downhill SO fast. This hook from Future is terrible. The production is generic as fuck. Rick Ross’ flow was pretty cool. I didn’t really mind his verse. YG’s verse was really simplistic lyrically, but I didn’t really mind it. The sound effects in the middle of his verse were kinda cool. The way Yo Gotti tried to harmonize with Future at the end of the third recital of the hook sounded really bad. I’m not really feelin’ his verse; I kinda wish their flows weren’t all so similar. The song just ended. Yeah… No. This is definitely one of the more tolerable songs on this second half of the album, but it’s still pretty bad. This is wack to me. 2/5

Track 10: Work For It (Performed by Big Sean) Feat. Gucci Mane & 2 Chainz [Prod. Metro Boomin’ & Frank Dukes]

This beat is actually pretty cool. This hook is wack. Big Sean needs to leave that melodic style alone. Why is he singing on the first verse? He sounds so fucking bad. I really don’t like that sporadic flow that he always uses. The first verse was wack. GuWop’s goin’ in now. Nah. 2 Chainz’s verse wasn’t good. I wasn’t feelin’ the last verse from Big Sean either. It was better than the first verse tho. It was also better than Gucci Mane & 2 Chainz’s verses. I still don’t like this song tho. This is wack to me. 2/5

Track 11: Don’t Ever Play Yourself (Performed by Jadakiss) Feat. Fabolous, Fat Joe, Busta Rhymes & Kent Jones [Prod. Qolorsound & Cool & Dre]

Okay, this’ll probably end up being a dope track. I don’t really fuck with Fat Joe, Fabolous is hit or miss with me these days, and I don’t know who Kent Jones is. Jadakiss is dope tho, and I love Busta Rhymes. Alright, here we go. This beat is cool. Jadakiss’ verse was dope. Fab’s verse was decent I guess. Huh… This… This isn’t that good. It’s cool tho. I’m kinda enjoying it. Fat Joe’s verse was fine. Busta Rhymes fuckin’ killed this shit. At this point I just really want that Extinction Level Event sequel. I can’t wait to do a Busta Rhymes marathon. When was the last time he dropped anything? Well, I guess we got that mixtape on Christmas last year. I never checked that out. I guess it’ll have to wait for the marathon. Kent Jones is goin’ in on the final verse now. His verse was actually really dope too. That was a pleasant surprise. Honestly if it weren’t for him and Busta Rhymes I really don’t even think I’d like this song. It’s not like it was bad before they started goin’ in, but nothing really stood out. I wasn’t really impressed with any of the other verses. I like the song tho. Honestly, I might try to cut out the first four verses with GarageBand. I might leave Jada in there. I don’t know. I enjoyed the song. Hmm… Should I give this a three or a four? Fuck it; this shit is dope to me. 4/5

Track 12: Tourist (Performed by Travi$ Scott) Feat. Lil Wayne [Prod. Key Wane & Travi$ Scott]

This beat is pretty cool. The hook isn’t bad. This beat is actually REALLY fuckin’ dope. Travi$ Scott sounds great on this first verse. It’s not really that good lyrically. Holy FUCK. This beat is fucking awesome. Travi$ Scott’s delivery gets kinda annoying after a while, but it’s not too bad. Wayne’s verse wasn’t very good. It wasn’t that bad tho. He sounded like he was high as fuck. This hook gets really annoying during the second recital. It’s fine tho. I like this one. I think I finally figured out how to enjoy Travi$ Scott’s music. Just stop thinking about how much of a douche he is—it’s a lot easier to do these days since he isn’t in the news for dumb shit—don’t pay attention to the lyrics, and focus on the sonic quality. I feel like the production is the main reason why I fuck with this one. The repetitive melody definitely lowers the replay value for me, but it’s not bad enough to completely ruin the track. This is dope to me. 4/5

Track 13: Forgive Me Father (Performed by Wiz Khalifa) Feat. Wale & Meghan Trainor [Prod. TBHits, Travis Sayles, Michael Foster & Meghan Trainor]

Why. WHY? WHY THE FUCK IS MEGHAN TRAINOR ON THIS ALBUM. ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME? I… I just… I can’t believe it. I’m about to listen to a song by Meghan Trainor, Wiz Khalifa & Wale… I… WHY? What the fuck made DJ Khaled think that getting the whitest female Pop artist in the past 10 years to do a song with Wiz Khalifa & Wale was a good idea? Fuck my life. It’s starting now. Oh. My God. I… I just can’t believe it… What… I can’t believe this is happening right now… DJ Khaled… You… I…

I just can’t believe this is a real thing. I guess this is no worse than that wack ass Charlie Puth & Wiz Khalifa song that everyone pretended to like just because it was dedicated to Paul Walker. Meghan Trainor & Charlie Puth are pretty much equal in terms of whiteness anyway. The melody even kinda sounds similar. The first verse from Wiz Khalifa was pretty terrible. It would’ve been bad enough if he didn’t start singing before the hook. I wasn’t feelin’ Wale’s verse. It was definitely better than Wiz’s verse tho. This is just… The corn is off the charts for this song. I can’t stand this shit. This is fuckin’ dogshit to me. 0/5

Track 14: Progress (Performed by Mavado) [Prod. Mineral Boss Productions]

I’m pretty sure I’m not gonna like this one. Khaled usually likes to plug an artist of his by throwing in one of their solo tracks at the end. I’m not super familiar with Mavado, but I’ve never actually enjoyed anything I’ve heard from him. It’s starting now. This isn’t for me. I don’t really like Dancehall music in the first place. I’ll take this over that fake ass Tory Lanez or Drake bullshit any day tho. It’s just not… I don’t know. I can’t get into this shit. I don’t like it. I don’t like this Poppy, Electronic-ish style of production. The vocals from Mavado aren’t doing anything for me either. This is wack to me. 2/5

Final Thoughts:

Wow. That album felt long as fuck. It was just under an hour, which I guess is the normal length. It wasn’t good tho. This isn’t a good album. I wouldn’t call it wack since there’s a lot of really good stuff on here. There’s a lot of fucking awful shit on here too tho. I think this is definitely one of the better projects I’ve heard from DJ Khaled. The first half was actually pretty dope. It goes downhill after the J. Cole song, and it completely falls apart once that fuckin’ wack ass Meghan Trainor song comes on. As a whole, I’d just call this mediocre. A lot of the shit on here is super generic, commercialized mainstream rap. This feels like Illuminati music. That might be the dumbest shit I’ve ever said. Sorry. I don’t think I’m ever gonna really like a DJ Khaled album tho. He doesn’t make music for nerdy Rap fans like me. He makes music for people who win. He makes music for people who know the secret to success. He makes music for people who choose to follow him through the path to greatness. I’m not one of those people.

Favorite Song: Nas Album Done

Least Favorite Song: Forgive Me Father

Verdict:

51%

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