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This album was released on August 25th. I don’t think I’m gonna like this. If you’re familiar with my taste, you know that I can’t stand Lil Uzi Vert. I didn’t think Luv Is Rage 1.5 was that bad tho. I mean, it definitely wasn’t good, but there were some songs on it that I enjoyed. I don’t think this is gonna be complete trash. I’m not really sure what people have been saying about this one. I’m not gonna get my hopes up, but I’ll try to go into this project with an open mind. Hopefully it’s his best project to date. I’m sure it has to at least be better than The Perfect Luv Tape. That shit was fucking torture.

Track 1: Two® (Prod. Don Cannon, Lyle LeDuff & Lil Uzi Vert)

Ugh… Lmao. This is gonna be rough. This beat is kinda cool, but the hook is annoying as fuck. Uzi’s voice will never not be super irritating to me. I mean, obviously there are exceptions, but almost every song I hear from him annoys the shit outta me. He’s not really rapping right now. He’s kinda just talking. I think he’s trying to pass it off as singing tho. It’s like a rhapsody. Like somebody just woke him up at 4 in the morning and told him to sing. It sounds awful. Jesus. This first verse is painful… Uuuugh… Fuck. I’m starting to regret this… This sounds like a fucking parody. It’s like he was trying to make fun of SoundCloud rappers. I feel like I’m listening to a mixtape made by somebody I went to high school with. This is fucking horrific. The only tolerable thing about this track is the production. This shit is wack af.

Track 2: 444+222 (Prod. Maaly Raw & Ike Beatz)

That’s fucking stupid. Why the fuck didn’t he just call it 666? Maybe 444 & 222 hold some significance on their own. It’s starting now. This hook is annoying as hell. The beat is dope tho. His flow was kinda nice on the first verse, but it was completely muffled for some reason. There’s really no point in giving the lyrics any attention. This is some of the most generic shit I’ve heard in a while.

Got that girl wet, she need three towels / Call my phone like every day on speed dial / Hundred thousand, new watch, got like three dials / I don’t eat out, hit once, leave out.

Uuugh… Fuck. I… I want to turn this song off. I’ve only listened to the first two verses, but goddamn. This is so fucking annoying. Of course there’s no reasoning behind the title of the song. He just wanted to be edgy for no reason. It should’ve just been called 4. This song definitely isn’t anywhere near as terrible as the first track, but it’s still really fucking bad to me. This shit is wack.

Track 3: Sauce It Up (Prod. Don Cannon, Maaly Raw, Ike Beatz & Michael Piroli)

I feel like someone is pouring acid on my brain. I legitimately feel like this shit is making me dumber. What can I really say about this track that I haven’t already said about any other Lil Uzi Vert song? God. I hate myself for deciding to review this. I really hope there’s something I like on this album other than XO TOUR Llif3. Oh by the way, the stylization of that song’s title is fucking stupid. Jesus. His pronunciation of “Comme des Garçons” almost made me throw up in my mouth. “Como dess garsons.” Yuck. Smh… This beat sounds really similar to that of XO TOUR Llif3. I think this is the most tolerable song on the album so far, but that’s really not saying much. I don’t see what’s enjoyable about this. It’s not the worst thing I’ve ever heard, but nothing about it is good. This shit is wack.

Track 4: No Sleep Leak (Prod. Don Cannon & CuBeatz)

This song definitely has the most appealing melody for the hook so far. I can’t really enjoy it as much as I’d like to tho because his squeaky voice makes me wanna shove a fucking drill in my ear. I don’t completely hate this song tho. When he switches his voice to that lower register he sounds pretty good. His voice has a really wide range. I wish he didn’t constantly choose to sound like a fucking rooster tho. He’s rapping about making money. I think this’ll probably standout to a lot of people as one of the best tracks. I can’t say I liked it at all, but it’s nowhere near as bad as anything else on this album so far. It’s decent. I guess.

Track 5: The Way Life Goes (Prod. Ike Beatz & Don Cannon)

This seems to be the most popular track on the album aside from XO TOUR Llif3. God I hope I like this… It’s starting now. Uuugh… Nah. I’m not feelin’ the vocals on this shit. The reason I liked XO TOUR Llif3 so much was because of the downcast sound it had. This sounds like it’s supposed to appeal to elementary school kids. It sounds like candy in the form of Hip Hop, but not in a good way. The way the bass comes in during the hook sounds pretty nice, but Uzi’s vocals are absolutely unbearable. It’s like a record label hired a mechanic to create a robot that just shits out terrible mainstream songs that children will love in order to make as much money as possible. This is the best song so far, but Jesus fucking Christ… Dude’s voice is just infuriating to me. Do I have to keep listening to this? I haven’t heard the second verse yet, but I think it’s pretty clear how I feel about this track already. I like the beat, and the melody isn’t bad. It’s an okay song I guess.

Track 6: For Real (Prod. DJ Plugg & Bobby Kritical)

Uh oh… Oh shit… This is actually kinda cool so far. The beat hasn’t dropped yet, but I can tell it’s gonna be awesome when the percussion finally comes in. He’s actually rapping instead of singing too. Okay, here we go. This shit is actually entertaining for me. The beat is hard, and he’s not singing. The first verse wasn’t that good, but it sounded nice over this beat. I actually really liked the second verse too. I think the beat is a little undercooked; it sounds kinda skeletal. It’s not bad tho. Okay. Thank God. I actually like this song. This is dope to me.

Track 7: Feelings Mutual (Prod. WondaGurl & FrancisGotHeat)

So far this album has been getting better with each individual song, but that’s not really saying much since the intro was so terrible. Still tho, hopefully this upward trend doesn’t stop any time soon. This beat is dope af. It sounds like it might have a slight Chiptune influence. Okay, I think I actually like this song too. I’m so fucking happy right now. This album is already way better than I thought it would be honestly. He’s singing on this song as well, but I’m actually enjoying it. I guess it just has a better melody than the first few songs. His voice isn’t annoying me as much. That beat definitely helps too. I love the production. WondaGurl fucked this song. This song is pretty similar to XO TOUR Llif3. It has the same vibe. Oh wow.

Her boyfriend hate my Bad & Boujee verse / She gave me head so I called her a nerd.

It’s kinda cool to seem him acknowledge the criticism he received for that atrocity of a verse, but the way he addressed it wasn’t very satisfying. As you can see, the lyrics are inconsequential. The hook is actually kinda annoying. It gets old after a while. It’s not bad enough to ruin the song tho. I enjoyed this. Just like with the previous track, it’s far from perfect, but I liked it. This is dope to me.

Track 8: Neon Guts Feat. Pharrell Williams (Prod. Pharrell Williams)

Oh fuckin’ shit. This beat is amazing. I love the hook from Pharrell too. I can already tell this is the best track so far. Pharrell’s rapping the first verse. His flow was pretty nice. I liked his verse. I actually liked Uzi’s verse a lot too. Honestly, I don’t know if there’s ANYTHING I don’t like about this track so far. I think I like this even more than XO TOUR Llif3. I’m loving this song. This collaboration went over a lot smoother than I was expecting it to. I think they sound really good together. This is definitely my favorite Lil Uzi Vert song. I no longer regret checking this album out. This shit is dope af.

Track 9: Early 20 Rager (Prod. Maaly Raw)

Oh boy… Okay, this isn’t uh… This isn’t good. This… Is this a Lil Uzi Vert song? It sounds exactly like Travis Scott… This beat is terrible. Wow. This might actually be the worst song on the album so far. The mixing on Uzi’s vocals are terrible, and the hook is annoying as fuck. God. This is fucking torturous…

Cheerios; lick on my honey nuts.

This is one of, if not THE worst songs I’ve heard all year. Every single aspect of this song is pissing me the fuck off. This is fucking dogshit.

Track 10: UnFazed Feat. The Weeknd (Prod. The Weeknd, Maaly Raw, Don Cannon & DaHeala)

This beat is nice. The hook from The Weeknd is pretty underwhelming. It’s way too simplistic and repetitive for me. He’s not doing anything any other artist couldn’t do. His verse was alright. This hook sucks. This is waaay more boring than I was expecting it to be. The Weeknd really phoned in this performance. Uzi’s verse was fine. The song just ended. Wow. This is probably the most underwhelming song on the whole album. I really thought I was gonna like this shit. Smh…

Track 11: Pretty Mami (Prod. Don Cannon & !llmind)

Uuugh… This vocal effect he’s using on the intro sounds fucking terrible. This beat is pretty good. The hook’s not that bad. It just gets annoying after a while. It’s got a really repetitive melody. Of course he uses the exact same melody for the actual verse. Jesus this is so annoying. The only good thing about this song is the production. !llmind fucked this song. He should’ve given it to a better rapper. Literally every single line of this song repeats the same exact melody. This is unbearable. Fuck this shit. This song is wack.

Track 12: How to Talk (Prod. WondaGurl)

What the fuck… Oh man… I’m not feelin’ this beat… I get what WondaGurl was trying to do, but it just doesn’t appeal to me. It sounds like a Trap remix of the background music of an educational video about Earth’s atmosphere narrated by Neil DeGrasse Tyson. The lackluster autotuned melodies Uzi keeps shitting out sound improvisational. I’m not feelin’ this hook at all. The first verse is trash.

Told her talk to me nice, talk to me nice / I say it once; I won’t say it twice / Okay might say it twice because I’m kinda high / Even though I’m so evil, I still look at the sky.

Lil Uzi Vert’s music makes me want to stop living. I feel like my brain is disintegrating as I listen to this shit. I’m uh… I’m gonna go ahead and move on to the next track. This is wack af.

Track 13: X (Prod. Maaly Raw, Metro Boomin’ & Pi’erre Bourne)

Oh fuck. This beat is dope af. The hook is fucking terrible. Eh… Actually… That whistling sound in the beat is pretty goddamn annoying. Aside from that it sounds really good tho. I feel like I’d probably be able to enjoy this song if Uzi’s singing wasn’t so high pitched. He sounds awful. Of course he recycles the exact same melody for the verse. This is so fucking bad. This is probably one of the worst songs on the album. It’s a shame because I really like the production. Uzi’s singing is absolutely unbearable tho. This shit is wack af.

Track 14: Malfunction (Prod. WondaGurl)

Uuuugh… No… The singing… SO FUCKING BAD. This is the musical equivalent to Mountain Dew. Oh fuck. This beat is fantastic. The hook is fucking God awful, and the first verse is pissing me the fuck off. He sounds like a bitch…

They know she’s mine ’cause I rule her / She says he does fine, but I’m cooler / I got way more diamonds than your jeweler / All my girls dress like they work at Hooters.

This is fucking torture. It sounds better towards the end of the first verse when he starts singing in a lower register. The hook is so bad. Whenever he sings he sounds like a robotic cokehead. The only good thing about this song is the production. This is wack af.

Track 15: Dark Queen (Prod. Maaly Raw & Rex Kudo)

This beat is decent. The hook is trash. This song is dedicated to his mother I guess. It sounds like almost every other song on this album. I just want this album to end. Again, there’s nothing I can say about this track that I haven’t already said about every other song. Can I move on? Do I really have to say anything else about this track? It’s fucking bad. That’s all I’ve got to say. I didn’t enjoy this even a little bit. It’s terrible.

Track 16: XO TOUR Llif3 (Prod. TM88 & JW Lucas)

I already talked about this song in my review of Luv Is Rage 1.5, so I’m not really gonna say too much about it here. You can see my original thoughts by clicking HERE. Anyway, I still really like this song a lot. The production is great. I love the melody of the hook. I still would’ve preferred if he didn’t switch to that higher pitched delivery in the middle of the song, but it’s fine I guess. The lyric video is fucking horrible tho. Look at that shit. That’s some of the worst animation I’ve ever seen. I like the song tho. This is dope af.

Final Thoughts:

Holy fuck that was terrible. This album is bad. This album is really really really fucking bad. During the first half, I was actually pretty optimistic about this album. It started out really bad, but it seemed to be improving slowly. It was getting better with every single track. Once I hit the midpoint tho, something happened. I don’t know why, but it just flipped, and the album turned into a fucking nightmare. I think I’m just gonna stop giving Uzi a chance. I was hopeful that he’d change my mind with this album since I finally found a couple songs from him that I actually enjoyed, but, sadly, the overwhelming majority of his music is fucking horrific. In the future, if I hear another single that I really like from him, I might consider giving him another chance. I don’t think that’s very likely tho. It really depends on the length of whatever project he puts out. I’d be completely fine listening to another quick EP from him. 16 tracks is too fucking much tho. I don’t see the appeal in hearing a high pitched autotuned douchebag moan over Trap instrumentals about how he’s so cool and then try to market it as the product of his heartbreak. His singing is fucking abysmal. This album is wack. You know what the saddest part is tho? This is one of the best projects I’ve personally heard from Uzi, if not THE best. So I guess if you’re a fan, you’ll eat this shit up. I personally hope I never hear anything like this ever again tho. It’s really fucking bad.

Favorite Song: Neon Guts

Least Favorite Song: Early 20 Rager

Verdict:

D-

Watch the videos below for more thoughts on this album