What’s up everyone. As I’m sure you’ve all noticed, I’ve been making a lot of upgrades in the past few months. I had a very intense year, and I kinda don’t even know how much to share here, but I wanted to give y’all some behind the scenes information. The main thing you need to know is that I’m going to be taking things much more seriously. I’m going all the way in on this thing, and I actually feel like I know what I’m doing now.

I didn’t get a chance to write about nearly as much music as I wanted to this year, and a lot of it is because of mental health issues. I stopped taking my mood stabilizer at the end of last semester because I was going to be charged over 600 dollars for a 30-day supply of Rexulti. As anyone could’ve predicted, I became very depressed over the Summer and started isolating. I started seeing the worst in all my friends while ignoring any good qualities, and I was planning on never attempting to make a connection again. I know that sounds wild, but that’s really how I was feeling. At my worst, I was considering deleting this blog. At a certain point, I realized that I had to do something to save myself, so I set up an appointment with my psychiatrist for the first time since 2021. Long story short, I found out I’m bipolar. This was kind of a head trip for me because it made me put my entire life into perspective. That wasn’t the only thing that happened though…

Before my current semester began, I was sent some footage from around 20 years ago of myself. There were videos of me learning how to walk. Again, it was very trippy to see this. My whole life was put into context. If you read my now-unavailable blog post about Kendrick Lamar’s meet the grahams, you probably have an idea of why the footage evoked such fervent emotions. I started going to therapy and addressing the intense childhood trauma that has molded me. I realized that I was innocent, and that I still am. I did nothing wrong, and didn’t deserve what happened to me. All I saw was an innocent, joyful, curious, loveable child, and I realized that it’s still me, and that I’m still worthy of love. Most importantly, I finally believe that the love people have for me is valid. Another part of the healing process has of course been music. One album in particular that was released in July helped me a lot. I have already submitted the review to the homie Def Goldbloom, so it’ll be in the next issue of DEF Magazine. Stay tuned for that. I’m really excited about it.

The blog has been rapidly upgrading ever since I got my medication management taken care of around the end of July. I have found a new confidence—a new love for myself. This has resulted in me taking myself and this blog more seriously. The new logo, which was designed by the incredible Lync Lone, is just one example of an improvement I’ve made in the past few months. I’ve also of course relaunched my Patreon page, and I also started doing more interviews. I printed business cards and have been handing them out to people. I’ve also started attending more live shows. I want to give an expression of gratitude to SeKwence for getting me out of my comfort zone and inviting me to the release show for one of my favorite albums of the year, GOOD GUUYS DON’T WEAR WHITE. That changed my life.

Again, I’m going to be taking myself more seriously. Actually going outside and interacting with real life human beings has changed me for the better. One last thing—I’m going to try to cut back on the profanity. It was cool 10 years ago when I was just a 16 year old having fun, but I don’t want to drive away any potential readers who may be offended by my foul language. I mean, this is a Hip Hop blog, so most of my audience probably doesn’t care at all. It’s just something that makes me feel more comfortable around others though. I also am going to be less of a troll now. I can’t be out here being rude to the artists that make what I do possible. That’s not cool. I apologize to any artist I disrespected in the past.

Lastly, I want to announce that I am going to try to find a way of deleting most of my old reviews from before 2019. I often mention how I’m not proud of the way I used to write. I know a lot of my hardcore supporters loved my old style, but I just think it would give me peace of mind to know that people’s first impression of me won’t be me typing in a blaccent because I was suffering from severe identity issues as a biracial teenager. That’s embarrassing. Lol.

Before I end this, I just want to give a sincere thank you to all my supporters on Patreon. Shoutout to Grand Mega Flowers, Cris Sayago, NikitaFab, Lync Lone, and Hester Valentine. I hope to see more of you guys joining sooner rather than later. Peace.