FHH Update 1-8-2021

Hi. I don’t really know where to begin with this, and this might just end up being a super scatterbrained paragraph, but shit is bad. Obviously if you’ve been following me for a long time you know I’ve struggled with mental illness for the majority of my life, and this isn’t the first time that I’ve had to open up about it here. Just a few months ago I wrote an update in which I kinda mentioned that I’d have to cut back on the content. Shit is somehow worse now. I’m not gonna go into too much detail, but for the past week I’ve been virtually unable to do anything except lay in bed and stare at the ceiling. As pathetic as this sounds, I actually think losing my Twitter account might have something to do with it. Losing a platform that big made me realize that I actually have no life outside the internet, so I’ve been kinda trying to come to terms with that. I know, I’m ashamed of just how Gen-Z I am. My entire sense of self worth was ostensibly dependent on the 400 mutual followers that I had on Twitter. I mean, that’s far from the only thing I’ve been struggling with, but it’s the only thing I feel comfortable talking about publicly. So yeah. I genuinely don’t know when I’ll be posting anything here again. Shit is bad. I’m really fucked up. I don’t have any reviews written right now, and I haven’t even heard any new releases from this year yet. Sorry to anyone who follows this blog closely and is always excited to read new shit, but I’m just really strugglin’ at the moment. In a perfect world I’d be back in the hospital getting help, but I can’t really afford to do that since I don’t wanna have to withdraw from my current semester in college again. We’ll see what happens. Just like last time, I encourage you all to check out Tha Soup Dude’s Kitchen if you want another Hip Hop blog to peruse during my absence. If you for whatever reason wanna see my pathetic cries for help and shitposts on Twitter, my new account is called @SPACEFVCE. Sorry again for the inconvenience. If you really have a problem with it, I guess I have no choice but to invite you to go fuck yourself.

5 comments

  1. Hey man, just wanted to let you know that I – and I guess with me, many others – really appreciate the blog; truly one of my favourite hiphop blogs. That being said, take all the time you need to recover, and hang in there!

  2. I completely understand. Take as much time as you need. SoupDude is really good, I love his weekly write ups. Thanks for letting me know about him. I hope you find the help you need, I really love how you and SoupDude are some of the only written reviews that unlike something like Pitchfork feel like real people just talking about music, you really don’t find too many of those anymore and that sucks. Get well soon, Nick.

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